Vulnerable Heart

Chapter 12: Second Guessing

{G}

Two weeks were over. Two more weeks had passed and in turn a full month had gone by since all this had started. Somehow, two weeks felt like yesterday. In the beginning, Ga Eul had wanted this to end as fast as it possibly could. She was in love with her childhood friend Jae Ha and only had Ariel and Jae Ha as friends. Two weeks with Yi Jeong had changed everything.

Ga Eul had not only fallen out of love with Jae Ha but gained six new friends. Among those friends was Yi Jeong; the person that Ga Eul was sure that she was falling in love with. Every time that she thought of him however, there was a sinking feeling at the pit of her stomach. Not the usual butterflies but a worrisome feeling. She had yet to see Yi Jeong these past two weeks. He'd been in the hospital the past week and the week after; Yi Jeong had not attended school.

Ga Eul had spoken to the rest of F4 and both Jan Di and Jae Kyung who knew Yi Jeong the best. After talking to them it was made clear to her that they were not going to push Yi Jeong to open up. Though they were aware of what always went on behind closed doors with Yi Jeong and his family they did not pressure Yi Jeong to talk.

"Asking him about this will only cause him to push us away. And right now he needs us." Woo Bin had said to her.

It was solely because of this that Ga Eul wasn't sure what to do next. She was not going to push their friends to get him to talk. The last thing she wanted was for Yi Jeong to shut down emotionally even more than he already was. It was the night before that Jan Di and Ji Hoo had both informed her of Yi Jeong coming back to school again.

Ga Eul wasn't sure what would happen now that things had ended. For a moment her mind flashed back to that first moment she had seen Yi Jeong. Sunny kneeling in front of him. Shaking her head, she reminded herself that she would not do that. As much as she cared for Yi Jeong, Ga Eul did have her pride. There were things she would not do. And as much as she cared for Yi Jeong, repeating the cycle which he had been in with many other girls would not help him.

Yi Jeong had made it clear to her that things between them were over. And yet, Ga Eul could not give up. It was more than just caring for Yi Jeong and loving him. It was about what she knew of him and what she saw in his eyes every single time they were together. There was something in his eyes that told her he needed saving. Not just from the people around him but from himself.

Ga Eul couldn't understand those feelings. Part of her was glad and felt blessed that although she did not have money she had family and love. She could not understand Yi Jeong's situation but she wanted to understand him. She wanted to share his burdens and tell him he was not alone. She wasn't giving up on him.

She'd gone to his kiln again that morning; much like she had done for the past week. She had not left another voicemail or left a text message. Ga Eul felt that there was no need to blow up Yi Jeong's phone. She had said what she needed to say to Yi Jeong already. She knew enough of Yi Jeong to know that he would never respond to anything she left on his phone. At this point he seemed to be avoiding her.

No matter how early she went to his kiln Yi Jeong would never answer her. At first Ga Eul had waited; first in the morning, then at night. She'd even gone out of her way to wait for an entire day and night. She'd once again gotten an earful at home for that by both her mother and father. But Ga Eul wasn't willing to give up on Yi Jeong. At least not yet.

It became clear to her after her "Reckless Behavior," As her father had put it; that Yi Jeong was purposely avoiding her. Ga Eul had not spoken to Yi Jeong face to face since the incident at the hospital. It became clearer to her that he was only pushing her away when F4 had gone to the kiln after Ga Eul had left one morning and they were let in.