Tears

12

'Olivia... get up eat something' I heard Kairas voice, it was as if waking up from a coma. My head throbbed, neck aching because of the awkward angle. I slept sitting in the chair besides Miler's bed. 'Thank you Kaira, but I am not hungry' she sighed. I got up, checking his body temperature and other things. The unit was still murky, the neon lights of the heart monitors being the major source of light, it read 3am clock. I walked to the common room. 'Olivia, rest a bit' nodded my head, and staggered to the bathroom for refreshment. I laid on the single mattress to get my head a rest. Staring at the neon lights, I allowed my body to get some rest.

I was buzzing around the beds again. Few hours, after I slept, 5 new vases were admitted, and we were getting short of ventilators. One of the patients went into septic shock. 'Nurse, please attach the cathedar to bed 9' I rushed towards Miler, who was currently on dialysis.

I would give anything to give him my health and energy right now. He deserved it. The full rosy lip was tired and slightly bruised at the strain of tubes. He was connected to various machines, that were keeping him alive. 'Babe, get well faster. Please. I really want this to end, and for us to begin' a tear escaped the right corner of my eye, as I held onto his hand. How absurd was this situation, in which I couldn't feel the warmth of his skin?

The desperation of the families who waited patiently for their loved one's updates, was now limpid clear to me. My body was buzzing around the beds, keeping them in check whenever I could, but my mind kept drifting back to that one bed my Miler slept in. My eyes kept drifting back to the entrance of that room. 'Cath, please update all their families about their current condition' she nodded, immediately heading for the PPE.

It's been god knows how many days since Miler got here. Today, was exhaustion in the simplest terms. I was attending the patient on bed 14, when a sudden gasp was heard from the bed nearby. My eyes immediately shifted to Miler, who was now struggling to breath. 'Victoria' was my first reaction. I was besides him within the next second. The heart monitor was beeping rapidly, his chest would raise and tighten as if struggling to inhale. His mouth open, eyes filled with fluid and pain. My brain was now switched on to panic mode. Victoria and Astron, helped me adjust his oxygen mask again. It was long before his chest moved is swift peaceful motions and eyes closed. The monitor giving a constant heart beat now. I looked at Astron who stood with teary eyes.

I did my best to avoid every pair of eyes as I limped towards the common room. Now removing my PPE and barging into a cabin in females' washroom. My mind refusing to process anything that happened in the past minute. My hands still ached from the latest CPR. As if the lungs in my burst, I let out an agonistic howl. My organs protesting for air, I screamed and thrashed pulling at my hair. A loud knock was heard on the door 'SUIT YOURSELF OLIVIA' Kaira screamed. 'LET ME IN!' she broke in, wrapping me in her arms within a second. 'It is ok Livi, it is all ok' tears streamed down my face, mind numbing out every word, every emotion, every feeling. She pushed my head into her shoulder, and I let her. My soul was screaming, it was aching but my body was utterly numb and motionless.

There we were, a total mess on a bathroom floor. There we were screaming and rolling in complete agony. We were the ships that had parted ways, we were ships that the darkness looked after, because we were nothing but ships in the night.