Tears

18

Life can be cruel sometimes, laws can be fetal. A signature is all it took to make a life decision. A decision that came with major guilt, regret, pondering and to some degree relief. With a heavy heart, and glossy eyes I set the pen down. The doctors apologized and left me alone, alone with my loneliness.

The air was dense, with something I had no idea about. My lungs refused to work in commandment of my heart. It was as if my body refused to work for the hands that signed her death.

The phone rang each vibration aligned with the throbbing of my heart and the aching if my brain. 'Hello Sierra?' I knew this would be hard, I knew this had to be done but I didn't know it had to be this soon 'Hey Miler' her voice was the same, with just a hint of freshness and if I wasn't imagining, excitement. 'I..' 'Before you speak. YOU Mr M.C still have to come hand and hand with me about shutting the call IN MY oh so beautiful FACE just because you were too JEALOUS TO LET ME SPEAK TO MY SOULMATE' I laughed at the memory, without the tint of humor. 'It seems like yesterday, doesn't it?' my voice feeble and distant 'Yes...Mile, what is wrong?' there was a haunting silence between us 'Sierra...' 'I am listening' 'I am sorry' 'I understand but...why?' 'I couldn't protect like I promised you to, she saved my life and I couldn't....I couldn't even...I am sorry Sie' not a breath spared 'What do you mean?' 'She is currently on... on DNR, I am sorry Sierra' the line was silent for a uncomfortably long time, followed by a sob 'Sie?' 'Bro what happened?' a guy spoke up this time, I just smiled 'Nothing' and that was the end of it.

One signature turned not one not two but thousands of life in an undefinable direction and I was the reason behind it.

They waited for me to arrive, and that was the end of it. A series of nurses walked towards her bed, towards us. Flowers in their hand and sorrow in their minds. They presented their gratitude and respect.

Soon it was time, the nurses looked at me for permission. I was frozen to my spot, with a longing stare I looked away with the slightest of nods. One by one the shuffling of the machines could be heard. The switches going, off the whizzing dying out. My life was being sucked out of me with every rustle behind, yet I was too much of a coward to see it happening.

Soon a hand rested on my shoulder, a gentle brush of skin as if the owner of it was afraid of breaking me. 'It is done' I sighed, using last ounce of energy to look back at her. There she was, on her bed pale and sick, yet her chest rose and fell into rhythmic intakes of breath and a whisk of hope bubbled in me.

This may be it, my chance to pull it all together. To steal back what's mine. This was my chance and I will not let it go.