STAY WITH ME

Chapter 1

It wasn't until dawn that it hit me. I'm going to be a mother. No miscarriages. I stay in bed, listening to his heartbeat. Finally, I pluck up the courage and tell him.

"Peeta, when you told me you wanted kids, did you mean it?" I ask, knowing the answer already.

"Of course, Katniss. But only if you're ready" His blue eyes meets mine and that was when I truly understood the power of love.

This is it, I thought. I take a deep breath, making sure the scent of roses weren't here.

"I'm pregnant. Thirteen weeks." I breathe out.

Then, he kissed me over and over again until our lips hurt. I look for his forever-young face, the face of a boy that saved me 21 years ago. It seemed like a life time ago, but I still feel the thankfulness and hope from the day he threw me the bread. His blonde hair shone in the sunlight from the crack of the curtain. We live in Peeta's house, mine bringing back memories of my beloved sister, Primrose, was too painful for me to endure. How I will ever forgive Gale was a mystery to me, perhaps I won't. The fact that he triggered the bomb, or didn't. All I know is that he played part of the plan to draw in more people, to kill children and killed my sister by accident, the only person in the world who I could completely trust. It's all I need to know.

"She's gone!"

This was the thing I screamed to Prim's cat, Buttercup. To me, he was always the world's ugliest cat, with a dirty honey-coloured fur filled with disgusting things. But when I came back from the Capitol, I realised that he was the only living thing that could give me a piece of her life. I yelled at him when he came back from 13, looking for Prim. I told him that she's gone - forever - and she'll never come back. He was the one that comforted me, calmed me down. But now that he's gone too, I have nothing to hold on to from Prim except the primroses Peeta plants.

It plays in my head over and over again, each time louder than the other. Now I truly understand why Annie has to do this. To block out the sound of horror and reality. Her beloved husband, my ally, and Peeta's friend. Finnick. Dead. I killed him. We lost him in the sewer, fighting off mutts and Peacekeepers. Sometimes I wish Gale was dead and Finnick could live. I know it's harsh, but he did kill Prim one way or the other. Every night, the dead haunts me in my nightmares. Cinna, Madge, Finnick, my father, Prim, Boggs, the tributes I killed, Rue, Mags, the female Morphling, and a long list of people who lost their lives because either I killed them or they were killed. Same thing.

I'm lost in the darkness of war again. Images of dead people, tributes and families play in my head. Peeta's talking to me, trying to pull me out, but I can't. His mouth is moving, and I can't hear him. I feel trapped again, like in the arena. After another five minutes of this, I feel myself shaking visibly and my breathing was way too fast. A hand touches me, and it brings back Clove from the first Games.

I scream.