STAY WITH ME

Chapter 3

I walk into me and Peeta's room, taking deep breath as I walk. My head still hurts and Peeta's sent Effie down to the hospital to get me some aspirin and medication for me. I sit as still as possible, repeating the lines that helped me throughout the war and flashbacks:

My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am 32 years (changed from seventeen) old. My home is District 12. I was in the Hunger Games. I escaped. The Capitol hated me. 

It's agonising to even think about the name 'Hunger Games'. After the war, I came home. Everyday I would sit in a chair, starve myself, cry, loose conscious, cry, starve myself. I repeated this for about a few days before Greasy Sae came and cooked my three meals and forced me to eat. But every time I do, it just comes back up since it reminded me of the rich food in the Capitol. It disgusts me to think about the Victory Tour, how Peeta and I went to the Presidential Palace and ate everything we could, only to realise these food were from the districts afterwards. 

But the one thing that always comes to my mind when I start to have a meltdown is hope.  I used to always wish for Peeta to come home, for us to live peacefully forever. Weeks passed and I started to lose hope, accepting that I'll have to live  in darkness and nightmares for the rest of my life. I considered suicide,  even made a plan. But before I had time to do it, the door opened. Greasy Sae came in with a man behind her. The Capitol, I thought to my self. I held the knife to my neck to show the person I thought to come and lock me up, and closed my eyes and yelled him to f off. 

"Katniss, NO!" a voice so familiar yelled. 

"Peeta?" I said softly, opening my eyes.

I dropped my knife with a loud bang and embraced him as long as I could. The familiar scent of shampoo he uses feels me, and his muscular arms squeezes me so hard I thought he was going to kill me again. I jerk back, and he gives a confused and hurt look. 

"Sorry, I had a flashba-" I was saying.

"No, Katniss, I know what you were thinking. You thought I was going to kill you again, right?" He sighs,

I looked down, not meeting his eyes. I was waiting for this moment for the past nine months. I imagined a warm, happy welcome, not this. I was probably shaking again, because Greasy Sae pushed me into a chair and made sure I ate my breakfast. Peeta just stood there, looking at me with a frown creased in his eyebrows. I was about to comfort him when I smelled the odour of the lamb stew with plums. It engulfs me like a shadow, and  I suddenly felt like I'm back in the war, back in the Games, back in the darkness. Images flashed past my eyes, and I screamed again and again until the two of them takes me back in my room and pulled me back out from the underneath flashbacks. I realised I'm sweating and I wanted to vomit. I ran to my bathroom and let it all out. 

"Katniss? You alright? Haymitch says you should go to the doctors to see how you can best manage our baby with your constant flashbacks." Peeta calls from the hall. 

"Coming!" I call back. 

Peeta and I make our way to the clinic, and once we were checked in, they told us to go to a room. They made some scans, and the doctor went to get our results. I search for Peeta's eyes, and I see a worried pair of eyes in his own. 

"Ms Everdeen, I have your results." The doctor says, with tears in his eyes. 

He tells us and I sink to the floor.