The Actress And The Beast (Post Malone story - completed)

Eyes

How can he be so cruel. I know I hurt him but does he need to stab me and turn the knife like that. I was protecting myself from exactly this. From letting him close enough to hurt me. I allowed him to break my heart and I didn't even know he had it.

I felt sick. We only got to the carpark and I was sick into the gutter. It had come to this. I was throwing up in the street doing what I said I wouldn't. Acting like Russ or Jax. I needed to get a grip of myself. I can't feel sorry for myself anymore. People are shitty I know that. I shouldn't be surprised that he was the same. Every man in my life has screwed me over. If my blood could do it why did I think he would be different?

I wiped my mouth and straightened up. Turning to Tana. She just wrapped her arms around me. I didn't know what to do. No-one ever gives a shit about me or how I feel. I can't remember the last real person in my life. At least I had one person in my life that hasn't screwed me over yet. Tana took me to hers and I stayed there for 2 weeks. We just hibernated. We smoked, ate and drank to make me feel better about my shitty luck with men. I just had this dull ache in my chest. I didn't even have this when me and Russ split.

Tana was the friend I never knew I needed. She was loyal to a fault and just somehow knew how to cheer me up. She never once complained about having me around and was always there with a shoulder to cry on. To be honest so where Ashly and Imari. I never thought I would have decent friends. Friends that didn't want to profit from me or use me in anyway. I was using them much more than I could have ever imagined. They were like my emotional crutch.

Tana talked me into going out. She said I needed to get out of the house. Needed to wear something that wasn't a bikini or sweatpants. She went all out and got someone to do my hair and make-up and gathered a group of people. We sat in VIP drinking on champagne and cocktails. Living our best lives.

Austin's POV

The argument escalated quickly and I regret the whole thing. The hurtful words spilling out my mouth where just because I was wounded. I didn't think that she would even know about the stripper. She must have seen someone's insta story. I was just filling my time because she'd ruined me. The stripper, whose name was Alexa was a nice girl but it was just a bit of fun. My heart broke when she started to cry I just wanted to hold her. But it was just because she was drunk. She'd told me from the start she didn't want anything serious. I was just stupid enough to think I could change her mind. Why would she want to be with me anyway? She was perfect and I was just a piece of shit compared to what she deserves.

I threw myself into making more music. Heartbreak always works for me. I write my best stuff when I'm lovesick. Other than the studio the only other place I would go is out. I didn't want to sit at home. It was empty and lonely. It would just give me time to dwell and think of her. I didn't want to think of her. It hurt to think of her.

I walked in the VIP the 3rd night this week and it was only Friday and there she was. I couldn't breathe. She looked good. Tired and she had definitely lost some weight but as always good. I took in her now longer hair that was blonde at the ends, the hot pink dress she was wearing made her look super tanned. I stop in my tracks not knowing what to do. Do I retreat or stay? Tyla must have realised what was going through my head, he squoze my shoulder pushing me to carry on. The DJ must have seen me because he shouted
"Posty in the building" her head shot up and her eyes locked with mine.

They looked dead. The sparkle had gone. I wonder if that was because of me? Had she lost weight because of me? She was definitely on drugs, I just couldn't tell what. Probably just coke, that was her thing. Her eyes followed me till I sat. I knew this because I couldn't take my eyes off her. I definitely wasn't over her. She looked disgusted to see me. Her looking at me like that hurt. I know I said some shitty things but it was all in anger at her disregard at my feelings. Like I was just supposed to go along with her for as long as she didnt grow tired of me. I'm not a toy. I couldn't just be this booty call when she was feeling lonely or insecure. I wanted substance. I want to feel loved. Like truly loved

I sat at my booth still not wanting to tear my eyes away. I knew if I looked away now she wouldn't look at me again. I didn't want the eye contact to break. I wanted her eyes to sparkle mischievously like they used to. I wanted to see that sexy smirk. But then what if I did see all that. It wouldn't change anything. She doesn't love me. Probably never will. With that I looked away and didn't look back. I didn't want to prove myself right