Dream of the Annihilation Girl

Chapter 2

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Do you ever get that feeling?

You know that ONE.

Where the sole act of standing up makes your head spin to an unbelievable degree. Moving around makes you nauseous and lying down, reminds you of how pathetic you are?

Someone just offering you food, makes you want to throw up your own organs just to never eat again. Drinking something makes you want to dry up in the desert, so you never need to drink anything.

Basically, just being alive is painful, and you want to end the fragile little thing people call 'your life'.

Yeah, that feeling.

Well, what I'm feeling at this moment is ten times worse.

My head hurts in many ways some sensations describable by words others are not. My head is pulsating as if the mother of all headaches is assaulting me. The nerves around my skin and skull keep sounding alarms telling me to do something. The taste of blood overflows my mouth and the inability to spit or swallow. Worst of all is this sensation of something cold being injected into my brain. Every part of my mind is reacting to this coldness. My brain cells keep twisting to the whim of this indescribable sensation. And it keeps going through my entire spinal cord. My body changing in ways I don't understand or comprehend, the only thing I can describe that it's painful.

The fact that I can still think clearly is a miracle. So, my eternal list of grievances to everything around me keeps getting longer. Since complaining is kind of my thing, no surprise that I can keep doing that even now.

My limbs feel like they have been pushed to their limit and just gave out. Refusing to move. Each individual muscle hurts, with every time my heart beats the pain spreads to each individual muscle. They contract and relax, contract, and relax. Each muscle tissue hurts individually and endlessly reminds me of what it means to push yourself to the limit. It feels like I am being tortured on a molecular level.

My breathing is shallow, and I need to take a deeper breath. But due to being unable to control it, that is impossible. The feeling of suffocation never fully goes away.

And I'm not even going to begin how my right socket feels.

Not eye but eye socket. I'm sure that I just turned into a cyclops with the pain my right eye socket feels. I can sense my left eye but not the right one, it's gone without a doubt.

I can't even move my body or see what actually caused me to get to such a sorry state.

Even screaming out in pain is impossible because I lost all my motor functions.

Is this what sleep paralysis feels like? Like that one painting where a demon sits on top of some sleeping woman while some horse just stares at the scene. I hope not.

If that's the case I'm buying some protective charms the next time I visit a Shinto Shrine. Maybe the Emperor's divinity will protect me from crap like this.

The only thing I feel besides the excruciating pain is the hard surface I am lying on face down.

Like I'm lying down on the roadside.

The lack of any surrounding sounds does not help me to understand my situation either. The only sounds are the pulsation of my head and the heartbeat of my tired heart. No sounds of nature, people, or anything.

Just me.

If not for the pain and the uncomfortable hard surface, I would think this is not that bad. This would be like sleeping on the roof.