The Lockdown Effect

And one day it was clear..

Tay was in charge of the kitchen today, he and Lee had decided that they would take turns too cook food every day, one day Lee made the food, next day Tay would. The first days had been quite chaotic. It was not yet clear if Tay could actually cook or not, for the most part, they could order food, but the part of this life had also become part of Tay's everyday life was to actually cook, keep it tidy and maintain anything that was otherwise chaotic to him.

Tay hadn't quite figured this out yet, but he felt he was getting the hang of it, Lee was better at it, everyone else exept Tay seemed like they understood how to keep it tidy, while Tay was quite capable of manage to lose something that wasn't attached to him, he could actually imagine that if his head wasn't attached to his body then he would have lost it too.

As he was standing there in his own thoughts, he heard a bang from the pan as he heated the oil, boiling, the oil was popping in the pan, shooting out of the pan and so on. He turned off the heat and pulled the pan to the side. It was good that Lee was out on a small errand, Tay thought. He fried the meat gently and did not try to burn it until he continued with the vegetables. He felt proud of what was to be their lunch.

Tay did not hear Lee coming home, he did not respond until Lee stood completely behind him with a shopping net in his hand. Lee laid his hands resting on Tay's hips and Tay turned surprisingly and met his eyes. Tay leaned forward and planted a small kiss on Lee's cheek. "... it took longer than I thought." Lee whispered in Tay's ear who was nodding in response. Not much had changed in the last few days, but what had become clear was that their relationship had reached a point where it was at a stop.

Tay kissed Lee gently, as if to test Lee's response, in which turn to pulled Tay into a deep hug, he buried his head in Tay's neck. He knew that Lee was scared, so was he. They had talked about it before, and partly tried, but never gone all the way. Sometimes even shower together. Lee looked up at Tay and into his brown eyes " you want to try later?" there was something specific in Lee's eyes that caused the fear that laid like an anchor in Tays stomach to let go, "mm, I want to." Before he laughed, he felt uncomfortable talking about it. It had never been a big deal to him, but it was when he found himself in a relationship with Lee that it did. He looked at Lee, who was inspecting what was obviously a disaster of a meal and was unimpressed.

Lee picked up the shopping bag and picked up take away boxes. "Tay, I love you, but I think we should eat this." said Lee. Tay couldn't resist, not even wanting to eat his own food. If it involved more than just boiling water and adding spices and noodles, it was beyond his skill. He looked at Lee, who ruled in the kitchen, "Lee, maybe we should cook together instead of like now?" Lee smiled dried his hands and took Tay's hands before planting a small kiss on Tay's mouth. "That's a good suggestion."

Tay put his hands around Lee's neck and kissed him back this time more aggressively, he felt Lee's arms squeeze him, Lees hands finding their way under his shirt. They took a step apart, "Do you want us to continue or should we rather have lunch?" the words came as something surprised at Lee, and Tay looked just as surprised even as it was him who had spoken.

Tay quickly kissed Lee on the cheek before settling down with the food his face splashing red. Lee picked up his food and sat down with Tay; he had taken no more than a few bites before looking at Tay, who had not yet touched anything. This was not the Tay Tawan that Lee knew, of everything that they had done from showering to sleeping in the same bed, Tay was acting quite wired. Not before Lee had put a piece of food to his mouth, Tay dropped the food a little harder than he had planned and took Lees hand and led him to the bedroom. "Do you want to do it now?" Lee asked. Tay smiled before he started laughing again, he fell on the bed like a sack of potatoes. "Yes, No. I don't know, that is... I think so. I've been thinking about it all morning." said Tay as he sat up again. His legs dangling over the bedside, his feet carefully finding floor and his hands reaching out and finding Lee's waist. Tay unbuttoned Lees shirt, and kissed Lee on the stomach. Tay had been thinking about this moment all morning, it had become clear that today was the day.