Hidden Truth of Oneself

(3) Local Dark Sky

You may see me very cheerful,
brighten up your day as you haven't feel stressed out yet.

Seeing my figure itself
Is already cure your sadness,
because I'm just a walking cuddly bear,
fluffy human being, huggable panda,
the list is still going on how adorable I am to you.

Yes, you are right.
I am quite happy
that I can make your day better and great.

But don't forget,
even the sky is so bright
it can be darken within a few seconds
by the dark clouds.

It rains.
That is sadness.

I'm crying inside
while battling of
should I die today or not.

At night,
I'm trying so hard not to talk to anybody
because I realized that
talking to people at night
especially the close ones
can triggered me so bad
I might harm myself.

Sleeping at 4 in the morning
feels so normal to me
as I'm thinking of what should I do tomorrow,
how can I talk to them,
what can I say to them,
pretty much everything.

I know people is not being picky towards me
due to my happy vitamin vibe,
but trust me,
they are so judgemental
because of my suicidal thoughts.

I hate two faced people.
Fuck you and your entire family.