My mother was a drunk. She always had the ability to find another drink, another man. My mom happened to sleep around a lot and I was a result of her indiscretions. Knocked up at 17 tends to get in the way of life sometimes. Forced into a marriage by a family of pretenses. My mother grew to resent me. My father left a year after their marriage, leaving my mother and every thing and one that came with it including me.
The resentment my mother harbored grew, much like the amount of empty liquor bottles. I grew up believing that the scent of cinnamon was simply fireball. I knew how to open a bottle before I knew how to tie my shoes.
A t.v. is not something that should raise a child but mine did. I would often sit and watch all these happy families playing and having a fun time. They were families that laughed together, they loved each other. That was when I first decided what love is. Love back then was a mother that loved you and you could tell she loved you because she picked you up when you fell instead of laughing at you. That mother that knew how to love would give you hugs and kisses.
That is what I dreamed about when I heard the word love. However that is all it was, it was something I wanted and there for it would never happen. Fantasy is a beautiful thing though, it never dies, you can wish all want and to top it off, it only goes away when you out grow it like fear of the dark.
Most children out grow their fear of the dark fairly fast. Thanks to the love and support of their parents. As we have already covered... I do not have a lot in that department. I didnt find out that the darkness could be so beautiful until I ended up spending all my time in it. When you live in the darkness both literally and figuratively your whole life you come to find that it is not the darkness that is petrifying but the things that lurk in it. After all man has always been scared of what they can not see.
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loves disaster
Romanceeveryone has different definitions of what love is. Growing up i wanted a love story from t.v. , the one where the parents held and loved their children. however that was a silly thing to want. i got a drunk for a mother who beat me and loved hersel...
