一𝙄'𝙢 𝙞𝙣 𝙏𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙗𝙡𝙚 ♡ 𝙆𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙝𝙚𝙚

»»- 5 -««

The overwhelming sadness was consuming Keonhee. He couldn't feel anything besides the heavy feeling in his heart, and the feeling of his heart racing every time Leedo appears.

He doesn't know what to do anymore. More than half of his world is monotone, and every little thing around him feels bland. He can't feel the hot rays of the sun, he can't feel happiness bubble in him every time someone compliments him, he can't feel the desire to even go out anymore.

However, he could feel the overwhelming sadness everytime he looks at Xion, who he has been avoiding every since that little event at Keonhee's apartment. It's not like Keonhee has something against him, but his words just made him lose any desire to chase after Leedo.

He doesn't want to earn Leedo's love by bring Xion down. He wants to earn Leedo's love by winning him over, not Leedo being handed to him out of pity.

Enough about that though, back to the present. Keonhee walked through the halls of the university, his shoulders slumped down low as his head bowed to look at the ground. His journals and textbooks were clutched tightly to his chest as he weaved in and out of people's way.

" Keonhee! You're alive! " A sudden voice behind him says. Keonhee pauses for just a split second, turning just slightly to look back at who called him. He sighs in relief when he sees it's not Leedo, rather it's Ravn. He turns all the way around, waiting for Ravn to catch up, then starts to walk with him once they are side by side.

" You holed yourself up for five days Keonhee! Five days! You know how worried we all were? Hwanwoong looked like he was going to shit himself, worried! " Ravn says, putting an arm around Keonhee's hunched shoulders.

" Sorry.. " he mumbles, not in the mood for long sentences or energetic moods or whatever. He just wanted to go mope in a corner and sulk in sadness. Ravn obviously noticed his mood and nudged him a bit,

" What's got you in the dumps, so much that you kept yourself hostage in your own apartment? " Ravn asked with a raised brow. Keonhee only sighs, turning his head away and staring at the spaced blue lockers that lined the wide hallways of the university. Ravn frowns even more, nudging Keonhee again as they walked towards the lunch room,

" Come on, talk to me... " Ravn mutters. Keonhee doesn't say anything as his eyes stay glued to the lockers. Ravn can only sigh and shake his head at that,

" At least give me hints? "

" I can't see many colors left. " Keonhee speaks up, a heavy weight pulling on his chest again. Ravn's eyebrows furrowed,

" But you have perfect vision— "

" Remember that time i ran out of the classroom, you followed and found me crying those weird tears? Everytime that happens, I lose sight of a color. I already lost every shade of yellow, orange, green, and purple. I'm guessing I'm losing colors in the rainbow, along with colors that can vary among that color. " Keonhee says seriously, finally turning his head to look back over at Ravn. Ravn opened his mouth a bit, his eyes widening about that. He knew those years were strange, but he didn't know that, THAT would happen...

" And I can't feel the same emotions as I could have before. I don't feel happy, I don't feel jealous whenever I see Leedo and Xion, I don't feel that urge to even try to get Leedo to notice me in the way I want to. " Keonhee adds on, then falls silent as he turns to Ravn. He was lucky they were in a empty hallway, so Ravn stopped as well, turning to Keonhee,

" Keonhee... " he whispers, reaching out to gently put his hand on Keonhee's cheek. Keonhee only flinched back, a deepening despair growing inside of him,

" Don't pity me. Don't. I already feel so miserable about myself enough, don't you dare try to say everything's okay either. " Keonhee cries, backing up in to the blue lockers to escape from Ravn's touch.

" No one can love me. I can love people so much, but they'll never love me back the way I love them. Don't you get it Ravn? I'm unlovable. My parents threw me to the side, my grandparents left me, Leedo doesn't even see me as a possible love interest. I'm a joke. You probably don't even like me! " Keonhee croaks out as he squeezes his eyes shut, a painful sting hitting his eyes,

" I'm sad Ravn, dont you get it? I'm just so sad that people can't even see a thing to like about me.. " Keonhee says again. He is met with silence, making the pain worsen as a wet, sparkling tear finally falls from his eye. A gentle twinkling sound accompanied it, soon a cascading amount of noisy tears falling from his eyes.

When he opened his eyes back up, tears still falling from his eyes, he turned away from Ravn. He couldn't feel any shame, but he didn't want Ravn seeing him like this. He was in pain, suffering, at his lowest, he hated anyone seeing him like that.

However, the color from the blue lockers was draining away. It was a bright blue before, but now the color was draining out of the lockers with every tear that fell from his eyes. It was slowly fading in to a pale blue, before turning in to a gray toned locker once again.

" I'm so pathetic... "

He made a choked noise as he fell to his knees, the feeling of sadness finally disappearing as his tears suddenly seemed to come to a halt. His books and such fell to the floor, scattering around him as he leaned forward. He presses his forehead against the now-gray lockers.

What was he going to do?...