there were eight gods. || Sanders Sides || Centric Janus angst

Chapter five: Fears

Fears. They can be small thing. But as well can be big. It depends on how scared they easily get. For Janus? He never had any fears that would break him. Until Bailey died. Death was what Janus feared. What if his other children died? He didn't want that at all. How was he going to keep them alive? How was he going to help his children get back to life? Have a real life instead of living a life of deception.
"Ro.." Janus muttered as he let out a breathy sigh.

It was another night of being alone. He was too worn out to do anything. The pain was still there. Cuts and bruises healed quickly unless if it was from another god, it healed slower than humans healed cuts and bruises.
"Fuck.." Janus looked around, he saw nothing. He was in his room. Trembling, when was he trembling? He felt something hot drip down. Tears. When had he began to cry again? He didn't know, time felt like a never ending race. It felt fast and slow. He knew it was fast but his mind felt slow. Why?

Janus feared to be alone again, but with a sore throat he couldn't say anything. How could he ask for help if the others wouldn't listen? He kept quiet. He didn't know fear could be so strong.
  "Janus?.." A voice muttered through the door. The serpent stared at the door, hesitant to say as he bit his lips. Janus licked his dry lips
  "Yes?" It was hard for the god to say, his throat burned in agony. Very breathe he took was even a pain to do so.

"I've heard one of your children died, sorry about that" Janus knew Virgil could feel the practical anxiety that was coming off from him. He didn't actually care, did he. Janus thought to himself as he closed his eyes. He felt as if time had slowed.
"Leave" Janus rolled his eyes. He didn't want to talk about anything, he wanted to just lay down and die... Die? He never really thought deep before but how can he die? He knew gods and goddesses could die. But it was painful and scary.

Janus stared at the pile of books.

But his body wouldn't respond, to pain was unbearable, how was he going to get the books? He just had to wait. And so the god waited, waited until he could do things like walking, Janus stared at the one book.
"How gods and goddesses can die" Jan blinked. It was easier than he thought, he wouldn't have to do any extra work. He liked that very much. Less time to live at least.
  'Killing yourself?' a voice was heard from Janus's head. It was him. He growled as he shook his head.
"Shut up Deceit" Janus hissed at the creature. He knew the creature would only keep on taunting him. But he also knew he was apart of him. The part of him he hated the most.

  "Oh come on, how about you die while I keep this body hm?" Deceit cooed, hearing a small snicker, Janus rolled his eyes once more
  "And why in the name of Logic would I do that? You'll only cause chaos." Janus grabbed the dusted book, it seemed it had been there for a long time. He was surprised he had never gotten to read this book over the long centuries. The book was red and had a glittery gold. Their are only one way for a god and goddesses can die officially. Janus read the book, only one way? What way? The gates of terrors, the god of fear rules the place, he has no affect in the gates but whoever else pass will surely die. But what if his dearest friend found out? Anxiety controlled him once more.

Fear, fear can be small or big.

Some may say they are brave.

Some may say they are scared.

No matter what. You still have fear.

- Marcus Lynn