Eddsworld angst shots

Yes this is a chapter

Ahem long time no see. This book seems practically dead but hey rona got me some time to write so here we go uhh trigger warnings don't read if you're sensitive to stuff like self harm also the pairing is some good ol' tomtord except depressed tord cause you don't see that a lot.

Tord's POV:
Today's the day. I've mustered up enough courage to confess to him. Pretty sad Tord you've had a huge crush on a guy for god knows how long and only now do you have the ability to confess. Whatever that doesn't matter. Although I'm still a fucking pussy I wrote a note instead of confessing in person. I can't stand to see his reaction. I've been rejected so many time you'd think I'm numb to it but it still hurts me deep down to know that I'm not good enough for a single person on this planet. My body is littered in cuts and burns, old and new. Harming myself feels like my only way of coping. I deserve to hurt I really do. I'm not a good person so I deserve all the hurt that can be thrown my way. Anyways I make my way to tom's room, knowing he's in the living room right now with the others, and I leave my note neatly on his bed and I go back to my own room to anxiously wait
—timeskip for the response—
I'm startled from my peaceful reading by a knock on my bedroom door. Fuck it's probably Thomas. I shakily stand up and open it to reveal my suspicions were correct none other than tom is standing in my door holding my note in his hand, voids looking down at his own shoes. "Tord..." he softly mutters. Oh god I can't stop shaking. "Yeah?" I choke out. "This was sweet of you it really was but I just don't feel the same for you...I hope that doesn't upset you too much but, I already have a boyfriend I just haven't told you guys yet. We want to keep things private." Tom explains. I can feel my heart shatter into a million pieces on the spot but I can't bring myself to upset Tom and make him feel guilty. One look into those gorgeous voids and I get the confidence to fake being okay for a little bit. "Oh, it's fine really Tom If I had known I wouldn't have bothered you but hey no hard feelings over here. I'll join you in the living room and maybe we can watch a movie with edd and Matt yknow so things don't feel too awkward" I say, trying to sound as genuinely and chill as I possibly can "yeah that sounds good tord see you down there I'm glad you understand and we're not fighting over this. I was worried since you act so angry all the time" Tom says with a cheery tone to his voice. He leaves my door way so I can finally shut the door and sob my eyes out. God it hurts so much every single time. My chest burns. Why did I ever think an angel on earth like Tom would ever fall for scum like me? I must really be stupid. I've always been so stupid and desperate. I let people walk all over me like a door mat because I crave their fake love and validation. My exes all used me but Tom? God I fell harder then I ever thought I would. That contagious laugh of his. The smile I get to see on rare occasions. The way he makes me feel when I know he's smiling because of something I've said to him. I may have fought with him in the past but I never truly meant any of it. I put up a front to avoid getting hurt but it was useless I'm still here sobbing into my pillow completely crushed inside. Fuck it. I grab my blade from my dresser and just go crazy. I cut gashes into my arms and my stomach. Those are easiest to hide since I always have a hoodie on. I cut a variety. Deep, not so deep, big,small, I deserve this. The satisfying sting I feel with each slice I make. Watching the blood bead up on my skin in little and large puddles. I crack a small smile looking at my work. Man I'm messed up but this feels better than crying my eyes out plus the crimson liquid is beautiful looking. I snap out of it to bandage myself up. I've gotta put on my "mask" and pretend to be okay. I don't want to alarm them besides I'm happy for Tom. He found someone who will treat him better than I ever could. So Tom I hope he treats you well. You deserve the world and more and I know I could never provide that but I would've tried to.

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This is a bit sucky but it's almost 4 am for me. Sorry this account has been dead for basically 2 years now I'll try to be better with the uploading. School's kicking my ass. Listen kids highschool is r o u g h. Especially during a pandemic lmao