The Things We Don't Say

YOU THINK YOU KNOW, BUT YOU DON'T

The town of Pinegrove is like any other small town, it can be a lot like the town where you grew up -small, familial, and safe. Routines are never broken, breakfast at six in the morning and dinners at seven; Saturdays are mostly spent in the town square and Sundays are for church and family lunch at Alba's. Even the weather is predictable, balmy mornings, scorching afternoons, cloudy with moderate rains in the late afternoons until dusk and chilled nights. I, Zola Charles, grew up in this small town life where we still believe in superstitions and where every one sorts of gets along because you don't want to make your world smaller than it already is. Most of my days are alike that I find it hard to tell where Monday ends and Tuesday begins. Breakfast. Work. Lunch. Work. Clean up. This basically sums up my day. I lived with my grandmother, Alba. We run Alba's Garden. It was once a busy bed and breakfast, now turned into apartment rentals. As far as I'm concerned, there is nothing special about this town that would bring tourists in. Well, maybe there is one, it's Alba's garden. It is a bed and breakfast that turned to apartments with long time tenants. It has a beautiful view of the lake. Along the shores is an expansive patch of green grass and strategically placed pine trees , perfect for just doing nothing. From what I've heard in the past, the town had tried to market the lake "The Art of Doing Nothing." But I guess, the people easily grew tired of lounging in picnic blankets, reading a book, or just napping under the trees. Soon enough this town easily reverted to its original status: a lay over for most buses going to the more exciting cities, about four hours away. Though, there are still a few who would check in overnight just to experience a semblance of peace for just a day. People here have grown accustomed to people just passing by that they have developed resistance to having attachments to someone new, but they hold dear the bonds that have been formed through time. If there's one thing that this town should be proud of is their loyalty to friends and family. But no matter how closely knit a community claims to be, there would always be misunderstandings from time to time.
Back in my high school days, I remember the most talked about scandal that every one has been talking for months. Mr. Knox opened a small repair shop for cars in the highway near grandma's bed and breakfast, where buses going to the city have their lay overs. It was a well known fact that he used his savings to build the shop of his dreams. It was going well and Mr. Knox was earning a substantial amount of money from repairing cars, and doing diagnostic checks for buses. One day Sunday afternoon, just as families are having their lunch in grandma's restaurant, Carlisle, the son of Mr. Knox's bestfriend was fuming mad. He accused the employee's of Mr. Knox of sabotaging his car, by creating other engine or wiring problems to force him to come back to the shop. And that Mr. Knox's shop is not a legitimate business, but a scam. Mr. Knox, tried to calm Carlisle but he won't relent saying that the shop is a threat to the lives of every one in town. Before Carlisle, stormed out of the shop, everyone in the diner knew what happened. Carlisle went as far as suing Mr. Knox shop and petitioned for it to close. The city council, after thorough investigations, have proven that Carlisle was saying the truth. Soon, Mr. Knox closed his shop and his life. He put up a small store of vegetables and fruits in front of his house and never talk to anyone again. A few years later, Grandmother or Reverend Parrish would sometimes knock on his door, to invite him to the town's carnival, or procession, but he never once answered the door and turn off his lights as a response. Even Carlisle's dad, Brad, went to his house to clear the air between them and restore what they once had, but Mr. Knox could never forgive himself for what happened. On a beautiful day, clear skies, balmy afternoon breeze, he claimed his own life carrying the weight of what other people thought of him. Every one mourned his death and if only Mr. Knox could hear all the good things that's been said about him, then maybe he would not have taken his life. After his death, no one claimed his house so it quickly became the haunted house where mothers use to scare their little children, so that they would nap in the afternoons.
Though it seems like this town is rather idyllic for most people, I find it boring most of the times. In the past, I have contemplated leaving and starting over again in a big city but, I never left. More than my boredom I love this town because it has given me so much - a friend, Nana, and the predictability - this is also my comfort zone. Besides the grove of pine trees beside the Grove Lake, I love this town for the eclectic mix of people living here. It's safe to say that maybe we're not really happy with some of the people, but we try to get along. For small town living, we get to know the strengths and weaknesses of each one of us. Take for example, Dorothy Embry every one called her Miss Embry out of respect from her former profession.She is a retired guidance counselor in Pinegrove High and calls everyone sweetheart or honey. Her white hair is pixie and she has gold rimmed prescription lenses. She knows the right things to say in every situation- that's her gift. However, she can't keep a secret. Maybe this is what happens when you are cooped up in your house every day with no one to talk to, but dogs. She gets excited around people and before she knows it her conversations would always drifts to spilling the most kept secret of someone. At one point, it had caused a squabble for two young mothers - Darcy and Elena. Their sons could not get along at the first half of the school year. Elena was stressed that she seeks Ms. Embry's advice on what to do. It was really not a big deal, until it became a full blown fight between the two young moms. The kids are okay now, but the moms they are like boxers on a ring.
Then there's Alex and Cynthia from next door, they always hosts game night every Friday. Don't be too impressed, it's mainly playing monopoly and uno cards and we spent more time binge eating chips, pizza and drinking beer. The winner gets to take home a bag of chips or extra slice of pizza. This is what most people my age do on a Friday night because there's nothing much to do in Pinegrove. We have a small shopping centre at the town square. Students in the town's college, hangs out at Beans and Books, the biggest coffee shop slash bookstore owned by my best-friend Elaine Sommers. There's a tea shop where older women gather every Wednesday to talk about memories of the olden times. I love how familiar and routinary everything is in this town. Change, it's sort of frightening, like seeing a big spider in the bathroom, where all of us are vulnerable, and then it disappears into an unsuspecting hiding place and then it comes out while you're eyes are closed and washing your face.
For a small town, where they think they knew just about every one, the arrival of someone new is enough to solicit glances and whispers. I remember the first time that new comer Andy Forbes comes in everyone wanted to take a closer look at her. And should I say that I was lucky that I get to see her incredible, light brown doe- eyes with palm fronds for lashes. Olive complexion and long brown, wavy hair that looks like it hasn't been brushed for days. She smelled faintly of soot and sun. Her plain white shirt wrinkled, but her jeans fit perfectly in her not so long legs. She is beautiful and all she has to do is to step outside to be noticed. I seemed in a trance that I forgot to say my scripted spiel of "Good Afternoon! Welcome to Alba's Garden. How may I help you?"
"Do you have an available room for rent?" Her voice is low and just a tad bit louder than a whisper and then she lowered her eyes. Elaine went out of the powder room, holding her stash from our organic beauty products.
"Well, hello there. I don't think I've seen you around. I'm Elaine Sommers." She held out her hand, and the new girl is hesitating whether to shake it or not, and she shakes Elaine's hand quickly.
Elaine has been my bestfriend since elementary school. She's a peach and everyone loves her. Everywhere she goes, people look at her as if seeing her for the first time. She's always dressed in plain v neck shirts, jeans, and sneakers that made her look more elegant than plain. Ladies, our age tried to dress like her, but they cannot copy the elegance that Elaine has. Elaine watched the new girl with interest, her eyes seemed to sparkle a bit.
"So is there a room for me?" The new girl speaks again and I broke out of my trance.
I told her that all our rooms are already occupied and sorry that I could not be of help. Elaine is still looking at the girl from head to toe, but the girl never looked at her. "If you want, you can live with me. I'm living alone. It gets lonely sometimes, I could use your company." The new girl and I both looked at Elaine with round, questioning eyes. But, Elaine just shrugged, pick up the pen in the counter and wrote something in the yellow pad. It was her address and she said that the new girl could just drop by anytime she likes. She even said where she kept her secret keys that I, her bestfriend since we were little knew nothing about. I looked at the girl and thinks how luck seemed to literally fell into the palms of her hand. She looked decent and could pass for a girl next door, but aren't the most notorious serial killers the best looking until they are caught and then their true selves comes out when they are alone.
"Thank you. My name is Andy, uhm Forbes." The girl said as if unsure of her last name. "If I'm going to live with you, I owe you my name. At least." Andy gave me a slight bow, and she went out the door with her head down.
I told Elaine that she is insane, but she just smiled at me like it was no big deal to let just a stranger live with her. She just told me "She's not a stranger now, I know her name." As if that's all you need to know to get to know someone. I kept quiet not pushing the discussion further because I know I won't win. I can't explain how I'm feeling, but I can feel my neck and cheeks getting warm. Elaine looks at me and I know that she knows that I'm not comfortable with her decision, but she turned her eyes away and drop the products in the counter, paid the amount and left with just a small, forced wave.
The day that Andy Forbes steps into this town was the day that some lives changed. For some it was good, for me it was not. Since she came, a string of luck seemed to happen to her every god damn day. And as she enjoys her luck, mine seemed to hide where I can't find it. It feels like all the things that I have treasured over the years are siphoning to her and that everyday that she's here, my life is in danger of being nothing but an empty shell. From what I heard, she's a city girl who moved here to start a new life. Nothing much was said about her, so I wonder how can someone like her be so special in a month? A close knit community like this town, it seems impossible to just blend in a month, but she did. Every one has something they're hiding and I'm gonna find out the real deal with Andy Forbes. A "successful" girl in a big city won't just give up her life to work as a waitress in a small diner to serve greasy fries and eggs.
Every one in this town thinks, they know every body, but they don't. In a town this small, secrets are difficult to keep, it always has a way of revealing itself. The only way to keep secrets in this town, is to take it to your grave.