Uneducated Submission

Anguished Reminiscing

**Neveah's  P.O.V **

I looked at Laila with a smirk as she desperately tried to fix herself and clean up the mess we had just made.

"Don't  look at me like that. I cant believe no one has caught us yet, or at least heard us.", she whisper shouted to me.

I merely chuckled. "Oh they heard us alright".

She glared at me.

"Why do we have to keep meeting here, Veah. Why can't you just tell Royalty as it is. She's bound to find out at some point", she sighed sitting on the table in front of me.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and looked up at her with pleading eyes.

"Laila, you know as much as I do, that I want to actually make love to you instead of these risky hookups. But I cant tell Royalty right now. It would shatter her", I say burrowing my face into her stomach.

She ran her hand through my hair, " I dont care Neveah, i cant keep doing this like I'm some easy whore. We've been dating for a month now and I cant keep doing this just to do what? Protect Royalty's  feelings? If she's  your bestfriend she'll understand, she at least owes you that much after all the crap she does that you put up with.", she ranted sternly.

I pulled away from her. I knew she was talking about Zane now.

They had drifted apart after the fight and I know she blames Royalty and as much as I liked Laila, sometimes she could be so naive.

Sighing I get up," We've been over this a hundred times Laila. I'll talk to her soon, I promise".

She frowned looking up at me.

"C'mon princess, no frowning", I said before kissing her.

She smiled taking my hand in hers,

"Tell her soon okay".

I laughed.

Pouting she rolled her eyes going back to her once happy self.

"You're treating me to ice cream let's  go", she said exiting the library.

I followed with a smile.

However her words still bothered me.

I'd  have to tell Royalty sooner or later.

And I would.

Sooner or later.

(A.N.- Listen To The Song Now.)

**Royalty's P.O.V **

I plopped down on my bed with a heavy sigh. I had finally finished my photography assignment and my last class for the day.

Running my hands through my hair I sat up looking at the papers and books strewn across the room.

I better clean this up fore Neveah gets back.

Getting up I start to pick up my papers, wondering where the hell Neveah could be,when my eye catches a glimmer in the corner. Picking it up I realize it's a photo collage book of Zane and I from our wedding.

My heart skipped a beat.

Does fate not want me to move on.

Sitting down I look at the book, inspecting it,my heart hammering inside of my chest. Flipping it open the first picture is of our first date. I subconsciously smile as memories flood through me, we were so happy here; arms wrapped around each other, smiles that could light up the world, that spoke our love.

I flipped through some more, reliving each memory behind each photo.

With every flip of a page my soul felt heavy and a lump grew in my throat.

How could I have lost him?

Taking a deep breath I turn the page, my heart stopping as my eyes landed on our engagement party.

My eyes watered furiously but against my attempts the tears fell. I ran my thumb across the picture as I looked at how happy we were.

My throat felt constricted as I looked at the pictures, a heaviness weighing my heart down.

With no energy left in me I layed on the floor clutching the book to my chest as my tears rained upon my face.

He was my everything.

Every conversation we had played through my mind. Every date we ever went on, every smile, every hug, every kiss.

The empty room seemed to not only amplify my loneliness but my sobs, that wracked through my body.

"Why'd  I have to fuck everything up", I screamed in a broken sob, clutching our wedding picture.

I sat up. I couldnt take it anymore. I loved him. I still love him.

I love him so fucking much.

But I couldn't save us now, no matter how hard I tried. He was moving on with his life and all I would do is fuck that up.

Some part of me wanted to go to him, to plead with him to take me back or hit him over and over but I wouldn't.

I couldn't.

I'd just look like an absolute fool.

I gripped the bed as I stood up and sat on it. My head pounded and my throat was closing up.

The room felt as though it was spinning and my own thoughts were too much for me. Every thought physically pained me to remeber.

My own memories.

I couldn't handle it anymore. My chest got tight and it felt as though I was slipping away from this reality. I completely broke down, not caring if anyone passing heard me.

My heart yearned for Zane. He was my best friend before he was my lover.

And I missed him. I missed every night we'd spend endlessly talking to early dawn when we had school in the morning.

I missed how he held me in his arms when we cuddled and ran his hands through my hair.

I missed hugging him, kissing him.

I missed our bond. I missed him.

I wish there was something I could have done to get him to stay.

I screamed in agony. My heart felt as though it was being shredded. I hated this feeling. I was supposed to be over him, I thought I was over him.

But I knew deep down I was avoiding this. A mental breakdown I held in since I first saw him again with Laila.

My heart couldnt bare it. To see him with another girl that wasn't me.

To have been replaced.

I wanted to run to him. To have him hold me in his arms. To apologize and tell him how sorry I was. How much I wanted to go back in time and fix this.

But most of all, I wanted him as mine again.

I felt as though I was drowning in my sorrow and pain.

All i wanted was one last chance with him.

And then maybe I could let him go, maybe then I could surrender...