camp cherry | hs

thirty eight

look at this BABY

✩︎

HANA

Harry doesn't show up for breakfast, and I'm hoping it's because he's tired out from last night and not that he's with Mia, or his dad. It's just passing the of the fourth week here; it feels like it'd been so much longer, and I still have another two to go, which would be pure torture if Harry still doesn't want me, especially after last night - I'm just glad he hadn't rejected me when I kissed him, or begged him to fuck me. Without a doubt, that would've been the most embarrassing moment of my entire life.

Carl announces we would be going on a hike, which makes my head slam to the table surface at the thought of walking for hours when my legs are still shaking and I had - very enjoyably - been fucked last night, and it kind of hurt just to sit down, to be honest. Admittedly, Harry had got me good.

The food in front of me looks ridiculously unappetising, mushy eggs and bacon that's more fat than meat and my eyes flick to the door upon seeing a small movement, which turns out to be Harry gesturing for me to follow him. Ella narrows her eyes suspiciously as I abruptly drop my fork to the plate with a clatter and excuse myself from the table, Harry leading me towards his cabin, walking a few metres ahead.

"What's up?" I question as we step through the barrier of his door, his shaky hands handing me a single rose, an awkward smile on his face as if he were nervous.

"Sit down?" he suggests, clearing his throat awkwardly, "thanks for, um, last night."

"Yeah, no problem. Thanks to you, too," I reply just to be considerate, wondering where he was going with any of this.

"Um," he pauses, as if deep in thought, inhaling shallowly before taking my pinky in his silently, "I just wanted to apologise and explain. I know I've been a real dickhead for the past few days, you know, telling you to fuck off and blaming you, ignoring Taylor when he told me to get you back, ignoring you when you chucked that snickers at my door, and again when you threw it at my wall, all the rude shit I said after you asked me to leave, not to mention me purposely flirting with that girl just to annoy you—" he lists, pausing between each one to think and saying the last much too energetically for my liking.

"Harry, you're making this worse. You're just listing all the reasons I'm pissed at you," I purse my lips to prevent the forced laughter I can feel bubbling up at his nervous actions.

"Right, yeah, I do that a lot. Alright, my dad - he didn't hit me," he reveals, stunning me slightly as I nod to urge him to proceed, "he threatened to—to out me." My heart sinks, the situation beginning to make more and more sense, "and I just—I wasn't ready for that. It was really big for me to tell you, and Ella, Nadia, and apart from you guys, my dad is the only person that knows. Well, aside from guys I've hooked up with." He takes deep breaths often, using the time to control his anxiety and contemplate exactly what to say, "so, all the horrible shit I said, I wanted you to hate me. To make it easier for you to stay away from me.
I'm so sorry, Cherry, I was an idiot for no reason." He hangs his head shamefully, not even daring to look at me, worried about my reaction.

"Harry, it was going to be difficult either way, and your dad is disgusting. No offence."

"None taken," he chuckles, seeming to have a weight lifted from his shoulders.

"So, why've you decided to stop being an asshole now? What was the point?"

"I'm more scared of losing you than I am of coming out," he admits, his voice firm and words sure, "he's not doing it through. I am."