thirty nine

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HANA

We cautiously enter the dining hall a few minutes after the bell rang, glancing at a seemingly traumatised Taylor, his eyes dully staring into nothing as if he were contemplating the meaning of existence. Ella and Nadia glance to me confusedly, angrily when their gazes land on Harry sitting with us. I send them both a later look, awkward smiles on both our faces as Taylor continues to glare into space.

Carl entering the room has Harry squeezing my leg and quickly finding another table, and I bend down to his ear when I walk past to the water fountain, "when are you coming out?"

"Tonight."

"To who?" I subtly place my hand on his shoulder in comfort, pretending to fill up my water.

"Everyone," he says confidently, his voice not faltering once - I could cry.

"So proud of you, baby," I whisper subtly before turning away, much too paranoid I would be seen or heard.

"Today we're going to do something different, you'll be put into groups and will have to make a small piece of drama based on what I give you. Here are the lists of your groups." Carl announces, most people groaning, however, Harry looks pretty excited, rushing to the list to check and sending me a big grin, signifying that I had been put with him. "This is your last chance. A test, to stay away from her in that way. If you fail it, you know what'll happen," Carl warns him quietly, thinking I couldn't hear. Quickly, rage replaces every emotion and thought in my head.

I have to wait a few unfortunate minutes until I can gesture for Harry to follow me from our small group brainstorming ideas in the courtyard; the topic Carl has given us was surprisingly ironic, bullying and abuse. "Are you alright, baby?" I frown once we were out of the way, one hand rubbing circles into the back of his neck and the other stroking his cheek gently, both of them moving to wrap around him as he shakes his head, leaning into me for a hug, "you don't have to do it, you can stay away from me."

"I don't want to stay away from you, and I want to tell people anyway. I just want to stop pretending I'm something I'm not," he mumbles, his neck and back bent awkwardly to rest his chin on my shoulder, the height difference making it difficult to hug me properly. He sniffs slightly, "why is it such a big deal that I like guys?"

"I'm here for you, I'm always gonna be here for you, yeah? Never gonna let people hurt you." I promise, pulling away to make sure he understands before surging forward again, his arms squeezing me tightly. I kiss the side of his head lightly, his hair tickling my lips as I silently say what I want to scream, I love you.

The revelation that I loved him wasn't exactly shocking, I mean, look at him. There's not one person in the world that wouldn't fall in love with him after a month, but I refrain from telling him, worried he'd think I was insane for loving him so soon.

"We should go back," he sighs, kissing me delicately with a fond smile quirked onto his lips, breaking into a grin as I tug his head down by his hair and stand to my tiptoes to kiss his forehead.

"Hey," I link my pinky with his, "come get me if you need a hug."

"I will, Cherrypop," he assures me, sending me first before joining the group again a few minutes later to avoid any suspicion. Harry tenses when someone suggests we perform the story of a child growing up in an abusive home, so I subtly place my hand on his knee, stroking the skin gently with my little finger, letting him know he can hold it if he wants, which he does within a minute, thankfully relaxing slightly.

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