that's not why × ziam au (short story)

part i × forgotten

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"Our dead are never dead to us, until we have forgotten them."

—George Eliot

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Practice had been a bit tougher than usual, the teacher haven’t been the same since the meeting. They’ve been pushing the students, especially the football team, to work harder in ways that weren’t necessary. Maybe it was some sort of punishment for Zayn’s suicide, but the team could care less.

Well, maybe not Liam.

He felt very guilty, as if he was the one to have bullied Zayn until he had finally stopped caring about his life any more. But Liam knew that he had done nothing wrong to Zayn, but he wishes that he would’ve helped.

They were running laps around the field and most of the teens were panting, soaking wet hair due to the sweat. Liam was surely as red as a tomato; his heart was racing along with his pulse. He was used to working out, but with breaks. Coach Morgan blew his whistle loud and yelled at whoever he saw slowing down.

Liam had hid behind the bleachers, drinking his bottle of water as he tried to cool down. His team mates were still making fun of Zayn and he was sure that if he didn’t walk away soon, Jordan would end up with a black eye.

“Payne! Out from underneath the bleachers!” Coach calls out, spotting Liam taking a break under the large blue metal.

Liam groans and gets out, having at least a small break.

After jogging a bit more, Jordan and his friends catch up with him and Liam rolls his eyes without caring if they saw him or not.

“Careful dude, you don’t wanna’ pull a ‘Malik’ and fall down, face first at the dumbest moments.”He chuckles and earns a high-five from one of the guys standing next to him.

Liam clenches his jaw and turns around, stopping right in his tracks. He feels his shoulders tensing and his head beginning to burn. He was sick and tired of the bullying that they were giving to a helpless boy that was already dead, he was going to shut them up once and for all.

“How about I pull a ‘Payne’ and punch you all in the gut?” He says in between gritted teeth, clenching his fist till his knuckles turned white.

Jordan puts his hands up in defense, knowing that Liam can beat him up any day. “Woah, dude, relax. I was just joking.” He lightly chuckles at the end, trying to add a bit of humor in the tense air.

“You don’t joke like that; a dead boy that killed himself is nothing to joke about.” His voice is low and calm, but he still wants to hurt all of them so bad.

Jordan scoffs. “Liam, he was a slutty fag. He didn’t deserve to live, anyways.” He says with a simple eye roll, as if what had just said wasn’t something horrible and disgusting.

Instead of using his fist to make them shut up, he had decided to pull out the big guns. He closes his eyes and sighs; he waits a moment before opening them.

“What if it was Tomlinson?”

The boys immediately stiffen and look at Liam with wide and surprised eyes. They barely ever talked about it and when they did, it hit them hard.

“Payne, don’t go that low.” Vincent says, a hurt look on his face.

“Look who’s talking; the guys that are making fun of a dead kid.” He snaps, giving them all a cold look. “You guys wouldn’t even dare to make fun of Tomlinson while he’s dead. Which I find very strange since he was also gay and did not deserve to die.” He tilts his head to the side, waiting for an answer from his silent team mates.