THE CAMP BEFORE MY SENIOR YEAR

Are you there?

I spent the whole night awake, preparing myself to face school. But, right now, sitting in my car in the school's parking lot, I still feel unprepared. The huge building in front of me gives me the feeling that, the moment I step in it, all the memories are going to fade away, like I'll leave everything behind. Like I'm moving on. It's confusing because the girls and I agreed that the best solution was to move on, I even convinced myself of that.

But now, as I close my car's door behind me, I'm starting to realize that moving on might be the best solution, but i'm still going to regret it.

I find Lauren and Lily standing at the entrance talking. I say hi to them and quickly join the conversation. They are talking about how pointless it is for us to be here, since we are finishing in a couple of weeks and we had finals before camp.
The girls and I usually carpool to school, taking advantage of the fact that we all live near each other. But today it was the first time in a long time that we didn't. I think we all assumed that it was going to be hard, and that we were all going to be too off.

Once the others arrive, we enter the building and split up to go to class. I have history with Maya, which is good because I don't find it hard and, if i get lost, Maya always takes notes in class anyways. The first 10 minutes I do well. I can actually pay attention and I'm not even thinking about camp and the Redlands guys. But then Miss Reynolds says something, something that makes me think of THEM. Maybe what she says has nothing to do with the Redlands guys, maybe It's just my brain forcing me to remember them. The words that the teacher is saying become a simple babble and my mind fills with images of the last couple of weeks. Suddenly, I can feel the smell of that path that leaded to the beach.
I try to fight my mind back and go back to reality, to a place where all those images and smells are simple memories. But I end up giving up, It's too painful. I let myself get lost on all those thoughts, and, when the teacher isn't looking, I even close my eyes. Darkness tunes feelings.

I'm suddenly back in Sydney, laughing at Bo's jokes while I try to, sneakily, keep the sand from getting into the bottom of my swimsuit. I look up to the sun and think about how I need to put on more sunscreen.
Another familiar smell comes to me, Elliot's deodorant, the one that he was using the first night of camp, the one he always uses. He is in front of me and he is smiling, his perfectly shaped teeth showing, his blonde hair as messy as always, but, what else can you expect from someone who spends most of his time in the water?
His body has gained a few muscles since we got here, or maybe it's just me that wasn't seeing him correctly before. He looks back at me with his dark blue eyes, so dark they don't even look blue. His smile gets wider.

I feel someone touching my shoulder. At first I think that it's Nick, who was sitting next to me, but when I look, it's Maya. And she isn't sitting on the sand, the ocean has also disappeared, the smell starts to fade away. They all fade away.

"You fell asleep" She says holding back laughter. For a second I'm confused, why are we at school? Why are we back home? But It's only a second, then I remember everything. I must have been dreaming, or maybe I was so focused on my thoughts, that I forgot about the real world.

"How much time do we have left? I can't stand being in this room" I ask Maya, my face clearly showing disgust. I feel trapped, like I'm getting claustrophobic.

"About 5 minutes" She answers after checking on her phone.

I start hearing the teacher's words again, but I can't undersand what she is saying.

In the middle of Spanish, a class that I have with Bella, I decide to text Elliot. I send him a stupid message, something like "I'm bored, can we talk?", It sounds meaningless, but I really need to talk to him. I have the vague hope that a conversation with him will comfort me, that his words will make me feel like we are a little closer. Maybe the number of miles there's between us will get smaller.
He takes long to respond, so long that I end up opening the message on my way to the car. Spanish was only my third class.