A week has passed
I'm sitting comfortably in my own home, thinking about what I would be doing if Judy didn't help me the other day. If she would've just let Faye win. I start crying. My phone suddenly buzzes out of nowhere, and I wipe off my tears.
Incoming call from Judy
I gasp
Me- "How does she have my number.....why is she calling me? Do I answer?"
I answer
Judy- "Hi girl, I wanted to apologize for what I did. I am a grubber, ego maniac, dangerous mermaid, and overall amazing person; besides this incident"
Me- "Judy Judy Judy. I do not want to talk to you, I would like to speak to Faye. She did all the damage. She rearranged my ribs. I am about to press charges"
Judy- "No need. Faye is out of the picture."
Me- "What?"
Judy- "Lets just say, I arranged something. You won't have to worry about her anymore."
Me- "I like the sound of that. By the way, how did you find my number?"
Judy- "One of Faye's friends gave it to me. Turns out you DID have her as an attorney."
Me- "Yeah. I told you. Her and Marcia Clark are a dream duo. Really kind women."
Judy- "Oh I know it all too well. My best friends!"
Me- "Judy....you're friends with Marcia?!"
Judy- "We've been besties since 1994. My queen. My wife. My friend. Love her ❤️"
Me- "Wow. Our worlds have collided....by the way, do you know Laurie Metcalf?"
Judy- "yep. Amazing woman. She is my godmother."
Me- "No hate to your mother, but I would want Laurie Metcalf to be my caregiver. God only knows what I would do if I was in your seat."
Judy- "Oh trust me I did a lot of things growing up. Even being in her presence was a true delight. She is sweet like dessert. Mmm, the thought of her makes me happy."
Me- "You feel strongly about the woman. I get it. I have to go now."
Judy- "Toodles"
I lay back on the couch and exhale.
I slowly feel myself dozing off, but I don't do anything to stop it. I let myself fall asleep on the couch
7:00am
I wake up and see Judy standing over me. She has clearly been crying for a while, and is wearing a waist trainer.
Judy- "We need to find Faye. Stat."
Me- "Judy, I thought you 'took care of her'....what did you do"
Judy- "That is none of your business"
You will never guess what I said next
