i have a kid

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I rang the doorbell and waited, holding my daughter on my hip.
God, I was so nervous to see him. I'm always so nervous to see him. I was really nervous for Cartia to meet him, technically he's met her before but she was a baby, now she's 4.

Carly opened the door and greeted us inside before rushing back to the kitchen. I'm spending Thanksgiving at the Evans'.

I was friends with Shanna in high school, that's how I came to be so close to this family. I practically became another sibling and it's remained that way for over 20 years.
I always had a thing for Chris, of course he was older than me and smart and attractive and loved theatre like I did. But I was his little sisters friend, that's all he ever saw me as. Every time I see him now, he gets more and more attractive and I find new things about him that are perfect. So I constantly feel stressed that it's so obvious that I like him. It's like being a lovesick teenager again.

Chris was standing at the bottom of the stairs.
"Hi," he looked over at me and smiled.
"Hi," I smiled back. He looked so good, he was still so muscular and his beard was so full and it looked great.
"Cartia, this is Chris," I said to her.
"Hi," she said sweetly and gave him a small wave.
"Hi Cartia," Chris smiled and waved too. "Wow, you look just like your mama!" He smiled looking at her then looking at me.
"Good cause mama's beautiful!" She smiled widely grabbing both sides of my face.
"Oh thank you sweet girl. Do you wanna go say hi to everybody?" I smiled at her. Chris chuckled.
"Yeah!" She said as I put her down. She ran off into the living room.

"She's adorable. She really looks exactly like you!" Chris chuckled. I almost giggled but remembered I'm not some giddy lovesick teenage anymore.
He walked over to me "You look more and more gorgeous every time I see you," and pulled me into a hug.
"Yeah, you too!" I laughed.
"I missed you," Chris inhaled and pulled me closer. Oh god please don't! I felt like my knees were gonna give in there and then.
"I missed you too, it's been too long," I chuckled pulling away from him. His hands rested on my waist and I held onto his biceps.
"I'm so happy you're here," he smiled.
"Me too," I smiled. Chris was looking at me, he's never looked at me like that before. What is this look? His thumbs were rubbing circles on my waist. What is going on?
I inhaled sharply.
"Your mom in the kitchen?" I asked removing my hands from his arms.
"Yeah!" He smiled dropping his hands back to his sides. I smiled as I walked past him towards the kitchen. That was kinda weird.

"Hi Lisa," I smiled as I walked into the kitchen.
"Beca!" Lisa smiled pulling me into a hug.
"Where is my little Cartia? She hasn't said hi to me yet?" She said when we pulled away from the hug.
"She ran into the living room," I chuckled.
"Lisa!" At that moment Cartia came running into the kitchen towards Lisa. She lifted her up and gave her a big hug.
"How's my little love?" Lisa tickled her.
"Good!" She giggled and squealed loudly.
"Do you need any help with anything Lisa?" I asked.
"Oh no honey, not yet. Why don't you and Chris just try and keep the kids entertained?" Lisa smiled putting Cartia down.

I walked into the play room to see Chris playing with the girls. He had a tiara on his head which caused me to burst out into laughter. 
"What?" He looked up at me with a smile.
"Nothing, you look so pretty," I chuckled.
"Thank you," Chris gave me a goofy smile. I walked over to them.
"The kids are I are gonna build a fort in my room, wanna help?" Chris asked.
"Sure," I smiled.

We headed upstairs with all the kiddos and started moving furniture while the kids grabbed blankets and pillows. I kept stealing glances at Chris' arms as his muscles flexed when he was moving stuff. I swear I caught Chris looking at me a few times too.

Once the fort was build we all crawled inside. Chris lay on his back so I lay next to him.
"Now what?" Miles asked.
"We could watch a movie in here later, after dinner," Chris suggested.
"Yeah!" The kids replied.
"Can we stay to watch a movie mama?" Cartia asked.
"Yeah baby," I smiled at her. Chris brushed his hand against mine making my stomach flutter.

After dinner I offered to help clean the dishes, so did Chris.
"I'll wash, you dry up and put away," I smiled throwing a towel at him.
"Yes ma'am!" Chris smiled.
We chatted a little while we did the chore.
Then Chris smacked my ass with the towel.
"Hey!" I tried to say seriously but I laughed. He chuckled.
"What'd you do that for?" I scoffed.
"What, you can stare at my muscles all day..." Chris smirked.
"I haven't been staring, all day," I emphasised on all.
"Sure you haven't," Chris chuckled. I blushed, turning back to clean another plate. I could feel him staring at me.
"Stop," I laughed. Then I handed him another plate. He dried it and put it away before coming back over to me, standing close than before. He lifted his hand and moved some hair off my face and tucked it behind my ear, making me look at him. He had this look in his eyes, and started leaning closer to me.
"Chris..." I sighed. He continued, leaving a passionate kiss on my lips before pulling away slightly.
"What are you doing?" I whispered against his lips.
He cupped my face with his hand, the other on my waist before kissing me again. Soft and slow. I melted into it, his beard was scratching my chin, but I loved it. He stopped the kiss but remained close to my lips.
"Chris, we can't do this," I sighed, pulling my head away from him. Still trying to convince myself this was a really bad idea.
"I'm sorry," He looked down.
"I...I'm sorry, I just...I..." I stuttered.
"What?" Chris' eyebrows raised.
"C'mon Chris, I don't exactly fit into your life," I scoffed slightly.
"But what if I want you to fit?" Chris stepped closer to me again placing his hands on my waist.
"What happens when it doesn't work out?" I asked.
"Don't say when," Chris sighed.
"Chris. I have a kid..." I exhaled.
"So? I love kids, Cartia's amazing!" He smiled.
"What makes you think this would ever work?" I sighed.
"Because you kissed me back," Chris smirked. "And because I wanna try. I know you want this too. Let's just try!" Chris placed a hand on my cheek. "I know you've always had a thing for me and I've been thinking about you a lot. I really like you, I think this could be something, " he smiled, that goddamn irresistible smile.
"You're such a dork," I let out a little nervous laugh.
"One date. Let's just start there. Please?" Chris smiled.
"Yeah, okay," I smiled.

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