Scar Tissue (Lashton AU)

Chapter 5

      I don't know how long this will be but as I've said before, I am really trying here. This will most likely be a filler cause I know its pretty short.

                                                           Ashton's POV

      I heard mum on the phone with someone while scrolling through tumblr. I knew it was about me because I heard my name several times before she hung up.

      "Ashton honey, will you come down here please?" She called up the stair case. I slowly walked down afraid of what she would say. I was hoping it wasn't something personal and bad because if it was I'd die.

      "Don't worry. You're not in trouble I'm just a little worried." She said giving her concerned face.

      "What did I do?" I mumbled.

      "Ashton speak up you know how I feel about mumbling." She said.

      "What did I do?" I tried saying louder since I'm used to talking quietly.

      "You're principal called." That's when I froze.

      "What did he say?"

      "He has been talking to your teachers. They all say you never talk, you always have your head down, you don't pay attention in class, and your grades have dropped drastically. I'm also aware that you get bullied?" She said with worry in her voice.

      "No. T-there lying. I just get teased a bit like a lot of people do." I said to her lying.

      "Then what about everything else?" She pushed. I didn't answer.

      "What the hell is going on Ash!?" She asked again. I still didn't answer.

      "Your siblings don't even do this." Great now I am being compared to my little brother and sister. How fucking wonderful.

      "Just leave it go mum. Nothing is wrong. I'm fine." Biggest lie I have ever told. Before she could say anything else I rushed back upstairs and locked my door sliding against the back of it. My heart was racing. Why the hell did he have to tell her? Anyone but her! She will keep asking about it until I tell her which will never happen. If I told her then she would probably send me off to some mental institution. Also Lauren and Harry would hate me. Of course the voices came back as I climbed into bed. (Ashton is normal, voice thingy is in italics)

      You're lying to yourself Ashton.

      "No I'm not."

      Yes you are. You hate yourself
      "I actually like my life."

      No you don't. Its sucks.
      "Stop."
      Just kill yourself already
      "No my family loves me."

      Ha! Are you kidding me? They hate you! They just feel sorry for your pathetic ass because no one actually wants you.

      I stated crying ass I screamed into my pillow. I really do hate my life. Why can't I be a happy, normal 16 year old? Why did I think my teenage years would be full of smiles an laughs? In reality its just full of depression and hating yourself for me. That's my everyday routine. Wake up, hate myself, wish I didn't wake up, go to school, get tortured, come home and pretend to be happy, go to sleep, and hope I don't wake up the next morning. I cried and cried until I finally fell into a nice sleep for the first time this week. This was going to be a long ass weekend.