Deep In A Dream

Chapter II

Dan feels safer under his blanket. Not quite content, but safe.

The weather outside still hasn't died down, but it hasn't grown any more violent either. The rain has continued as a steady thrumming against the rooftop, allowing Dan to grow used to its presence. It's more bearable now at least, the lack of change brings the same sense of security he experienced the night before.

Again Dan is reminded of just how much the rain reflects how he feels. The emptiness still persists in his stomach, as he expected, but that's all it is now, an emptiness with no more exhaustion or guilt to accompany it. It's stayed consistent enough for Dan to grow used to it. Just like the rain still hammering against his rooftop.

The world really does work in strange ways, doesn't it?

Today is quite a pretty one, really. From Dan's position curled up in the corner of the sofa, he has a perfect view of the city below. It's nearing December, so the overcast sky is already dimming, and the streets are bustling with Christmas shoppers. If he squints hard enough, he thinks he might even spot some fairy lights in a smaller shop window, a gentle reminder to buy some decorations for his and Phil's balcony the next time one of them go out. Dan's always liked the idea of decorating for Christmas, he knows the other has too, and he has a feeling this Christmas could be the year they actually gets round to doing so. Maybe Dan could do it himself as a surprise for Phil, to say thank you for putting up with him still after all these years. That's guaranteed to put a smile on his face, he thinks.

It's nearing 4 in the afternoon, and both of the boys are nestled on the sofa re-watching The Office, as earlier Phil was convinced it would put Dan in a much better mood. If he's honest, Dan didn't really want to watch anything. Curling up next to Phil - anyone, he means, not necessarily Phil, he just needs some form of human companionship - and sleeping with no distractions on the TV seemed much more appealing. His friend had been woken up a lot earlier than reasonable though due to his carelessness, so the least Dan could do was let him choose the show they watch.

Dan has been trying to pay attention to the TV anyway with the off-chance he could get a laugh out of it, but everything from the past few hours seems to just be a blur of words and thoughts. Dan can't really pinpoint anything that has happened besides rain hitting glass, warm blankets and a hollow feeling. He for some reason remembers Phil laughing hysterically at the show, but doesn't quite recall laughing along too - he' d honestly been too worn out to pay attention. He could have been asleep for all he knew, although the pounding in his head has started to become a lot more real than he initially told Phil, so probably not.

Dan knows that at some point Luna had emerged from Phil's bedroom, meowing relentlessly at them both until Phil eventually gave in and got her food from the kitchen, but only because Phil had made a point of grumbling the entire way there and actually made Dan smile a little. It had been a while since then, or maybe just a few minutes, and the dark cat now lies asleep on Dan's chest as he gently brushes her charcoal fur with his hands, paying less attention than usual to how soft it is as it springs up between his fingers.

He remembers when they decided to adopt Luna last year. She had been scratching at their apartment door for hours, and Phil had brought her in to feed her with leftovers from the night before; apparently anyway, all Dan knew was he'd woken up and found his flatmate petting her on the sofa. Initially he had refused to keep her, he's always been a dog person - and this was just another bony street cat with a limp, they're not exactly uncommon in London - but Phil just looked so excited and hopeful than Dan had eventually given in and told him to 'go get her to the vet then, see if she's chipped'. The beaming smile he received from Phil then has definitely never left his memory, Dan wonders if he could make him do it again. If he could turn back time to that day he reckons he would, there was no rain in sight. He suddenly remembers it being really sunny - oddly sunny. Surely a coincidence, he thinks.