31 Days of December

December 16th

"Hey, sorry I'm late," Elizabeth said as she sat down across from me outside the library. For the time of year being winter, it was nice being able to hang out outside instead of being stuck inside studying.

"You're all good," I said as I pulled my laptop out of my backpack. "I actually just got here myself. For it being finals week, campus sure is super hectic."

"I know. It is either almost deserted or seems like every student is simultaneously on campus."

"Honestly. Why can't they all just disappear already? It'll be Wednesday, and like half of the campus has fallen off the face of the earth."

"Happens every finals season."

"Anyways," I said, allowing the subject to change. Elizabeth just looked at me, a little confused. "How was your date with Liam? He better have treated you like a princess."

Elizabeth laughed, "He did. It was actually really fun. With the break being so close, we didn't want to have a super extravagant date. We just wanted something casual, so we went bowling. We learned that the both of us are super competitive, so it may or may not have gotten a little violent trying to get the other to lose."

"Please tell me you tripped him at some point."

"Who do you think I am? Of course, I did. It was the least amount of damage he could have taken for not picking up my hints of liking him sooner."

I laughed.

"What about you and Ethan?" Elizabeth asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, the break is coming soon. Are you guys going to start dating or whatever you guys are doing? Have you even talked about it with him?"

"There isn't really anything to talk about," I said. I began typing away on my computer, only half focusing on the study guide in front of me. "We aren't dating and won't be starting anytime soon."

"Why not?"

"Can I be honest?"

"Of course."

"Relationships are hard for me. Always have been and always will be. I can't just date someone or even find someone as a romantic interest unless I have been friends with them first. Don't get me wrong. Ethan and I can definitely be together someday, but it's going to take time for me to get to the point where I can see him like that. Right now, he's a friend that flirts with me at most. And even if we do get together, it's going to be long before I can get comfortable being in a relationship to do coupley things, so he will have to feel like he's back at square one. Like we could act coupley before, but the second it comes official, I shut down and can't act that way anymore. Guys don't usually have the patience for that."

"Have you told him this?"

"Not yet."

"You know you should. You know he would listen and at least try to understand."

"Even if Ethan understands, it doesn't mean he won't get frustrated with me later and give up."

"Does Ethan seem like the guy that gives up?" Elizabeth asked.

I sighed, "No, but that doesn't mean it won't change."

"You won't know until you talk to him and actually experience it. Ethan hadn't shown any interest in a girl until you came along. I'm pretty sure that he liked you long before the two of you talked. I'm not sure about that, though."

"There is no way. Why would he like me before knowing me? More importantly, how did he know of my existence before I ran into him? I'm obviously not one to stick out."

"I don't know," Elizabeth shrugged. "You'll have to ask him."

"No, thank you. That means having to confront Ethan, and that is not my style."

"And letting it just sit in your brain and become a bigger insecurity than it is will make it difficult for you to actually start a relationship with Ethan if that ever comes to be."

"I know, but not right now."

"You don't have to do it right now. Don't feel like you have to force yourself to explain it to Ethan before you are comfortable enough to. I just don't want the two of you to fall apart before you even have a chance. The sooner you are open to one another, the smoother the relationship will be."

"It's hard. I mean opening up about it to someone I might potentially date."

"Yeah, I get that. Everyone has their insecurities, and dating someone means you have to open up to the other person and talk about it. However, if they are a good person, your partner will help you through your insecurities."

I sighed, "But then there is also the fear that your partner is toxic and uses your insecurities to manipulate you."

"This topic is getting depressing," Elizabeth said. I nodded in agreement. I was accidentally making the conversation a dark one very quickly. "Anyways, I want to know more about the infamous Hailey. What's your life like?"

"Infamous? I didn't know I had a bad reputation."

"You didn't hear? You stole the captain of the hockey team away from me."

"Damn, I'm a major bitch."

"It's okay. I started dating his best friend instead."

"The ultimate payback," I said.

Elizabeth laughed and said, "But in all seriousness, I want to know more about you. I want to become friends, especially if we are going to be around each other all the time because of the boys."

"That's fair. Well, I'm a sophomore studying biology. I spend most of my free time on social media or watching something on a streaming service. I'm not in any clubs or working at the moment, but I'm half looking for a job to get some extra money. I adore Disney and Studio Ghibli movies, but I will watch pretty much anything. I also have an obsession with the Jonas Brothers."

"Important question. Which brother is your favorite?"

"Nick, without a doubt," I answered without a second thought.

"I was a Joe girl."

"I was originally when I was first introduced to the Jonas Brothers because he was the cute lead, but the more I learned their personalities and whatnot, I fell for Nick and haven't changed sides yet. However, I was convinced when I was younger that I was somehow going to marry Frankie because he's my age," I admitted.

"Same," Elizabeth said, causing the both of us to start laughing.