Finding Life | Finders Keepers #2 ✔️

26. Too Close For Comfort

Dean

I can't believe her. It's only been a week and she's going on a date with Caleb? How the hell did they even run into one another? There was no fucking way that they just met in coincidence inside the campus. That's pure bullshit. Did she really not feel anything at all? Did she really have to bring him back here in our apartment?

Well, you did get back together with Grace HOURS just after she ended it. Not only that, you did have sex with her the night she came back.

Damn my subconscious to hell. It's the reason that's getting me fucked up most of the time. I didn't even hear the door opening that night that she got in. I could just tell that she came back early in the morning from the dress alone that she was wearing. I knew that she would never wear such a thing inside the house when all of the people there wore pants.

Plus, I knew that her limited choices of dress were all here. I helped her put it there. I'm the one who hanged that polka-dot red dress she wore when we were unpacking. God, I remember even imagining her in it the moment my eyes saw it. I imagined how she looked incredible in it and when I saw her that morning before she left, I remember thinking to myself that "incredible" isn't the word that should describe her.

It should be "perfect."

My fucking mouth just didn't bother to move the second I said her name. I couldn't. Her eyes were narrowed into slits and her mouth was parted slightly, as if she wanted to scream my face off. In truth, I would take it all fully if I could just hold her again. That's all I've wanted. To hold her again. But when she left, I didn't do anything to make an effort.

Instead, I looked back at Grace and offered her breakfast which she happily accepted.

The days that she was gone, Grace kept me company and just being around her... felt comfortable and felt familiar. It wasn't something that would get my heart going and I was a little thankful for it. I explained to her what happened with her brother and how I've been there for her for support.

"Only support?" I could remember her eyeing me, suspicious in her eyes and laced in the tone of her voice. "You didn't do anything right?"

I should have probably said yes, told her the truth and end the little pieces of our relationship now. However, my stupidity got a hold on me and I shook my head, lied to her that there was never feelings like that in the first place. We didn't say anything more about her and for the next few days, I tried to at least get a hold of Blythe. To fix our friendship, at the very least.

See, here's the thing about Blythe: if she doesn't want to be near you, she'll be pretty good at avoiding. In campus, there would be times we would run into one another and I would try to strike up a conversation but she'll ignore me. Like I was air. She'll greet the guys when they would wave at her and fuck, it had hurt. I was so used to being the person she came to besides her family that now that we've screwed it all up, it's no longer there.

But, fuck it if I didn't get honest and say what I wanted to say. I miss her. I miss her so much that my heart aches when I would peak through my door and see her early in the morning trying to sneak out with her outfit. I miss her so much that my ears would peak upwards like a dog when I would hear her keys juggling in the door late at night. I miss her so much that my eyes can't stand it when I see her, knowing that we're not okay.

I miss her so much that it fucking hurts physically knowing that she's close but so fucking far away.

She's farther away now that she brought Caleb in. The two of them were fucking wet from the pouring rain and I can't help the jealousy that was raging in me. It should be me that's playing in the rain with her. It should be me that's bringing her in the apartment and taking care of her.