Still You

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Exhausted

Naalimpungatan ako nang maramdaman ang paggalaw ng aking katabi. It's still dark and I think I have only slept for about two hours or so. Binalot ko ang sarili sa comforter para maibsan ang lamig na nararamdaman. I think the aircon was in full blast, it made the room icy-cold.

I slowly opened my eyes to check on Aeolus. My gaze is still somehow blurry. He sat on the edge of the bed and glanced at me. Even with my vision still unclear, I could still see his brows furrowing from confusion.

Gumalaw ako at sandaling kinusot ang mga mata para matingnan siya ng mabuti. The only thing that's giving light in his room is his small lamp on his bedside table. Ang kaonting dilaw na ilaw mula roon ang tanging nagpakita sa akin sa ekpresyon niya ngayon.

Our eyes met and I saw how confused his eyes were. Tila nagtataka kung bakit ako nasa kaniyang tabi ngayon. I slowly removed the comforter from me and tried to lift myself up and sit.

"Hey. Pinanguha kita ng tubig kanina. I think you need to drink water first." namamaos pa ang aking boses nang sinabi iyon.

I pointed the glass of water that I put on his bedside table. Inilagay ko iyon kagabi bago ako natulog sa kaniyang tabi para kapag nagising siya ay makainom kaagad siya ng tubig. I don't remember seeing him drink water last night.

Dumausdos ang kaniyang tingin mula sa aking mga mata hanggang sa kalahati ng aking katawan na kita ngayon at hindi natatakpan ng comforter. Magkasalubong pa rin ang kaniyang mga kilay habang ineeksamina ang aking suot ngayon.

I suddenly realized that I'm wearing his white t-shirt now! Bago ako natulog kagabi ay naghalf bath muna ako at nagpalit ng damit na kinalkal ko pa sa kaniyang cabinet.

He looked away and turned his back on me.

"What are you doing here?" his deep and husky voice filled the icy-cold room.

"You said you want us to talk..." I muttered and I bit my lip.

He heavily sighed and shook his head.

"I already told you that I won't question you anymore, Serene. Hindi na kita tatanungin tungkol sa dati. But why are you still here?" he turned to face me again. His eyes were dark and piercing. He gazed me with pure annoyance and confusion in his eyes. I don't know what's in me, but I seriously find that attractive.

His eyes drifted on my lips so I unconsciously let go from biting it. Binalik niya ang tingin sa aking mga mata nang magkasalubong ang dalawang kilay. His eyes narrowed, too.

"And you slept beside me... wore my clothes, just because I asked you if we could talk? Tss." he sneered and turned around again.

I swallowed a lump on my throat as I hear my heart slowly getting awakened and start beating fast again. Kinakabahan ako. I don't know what are the right words to say. All I know is that I miss him and I want to reconcile with him immediately. But how? I still have yet to say my share of apologies. 

"If this is one of your tactics to make me hope for us again, then you're doing it right. Ang galing mong mag-paasa, Serene. Pero sana mapagod ka na dahil pagod na rin akong umasa sa'yo. Our talk here is done. You can go back to your fiance now." He stood up and walked straight to his bathroom.

I was left dumbfounded. I felt a tug in my heart when he said that he was already tired of me. Kasalanan ko rin naman. I told him I hate him and I didn't tell him the truth about me and Lawrence.

Pilit pa rin akong nag-iisip kung ano at paano ko sisimulan ang sasabihin sa kaniya. When he went out of the bathroom, he was gently wiping his face with a face towel. He glanced at me intently as if he's asking why am I still here.