My Words Untold

Unwelcomed Guest

A taste of bitterness grazed aimlessly through my mental
As I begin to relive the clouded covered nights that
Welcomed him into my party of one
Recalling vividly putting him on the
Do not enter list

However somehow, he managed to slither
Under my covers
Exposing goose bump chills of fear
To the age of 22 minus 10
Barely old enough to understand the
Mystery that flows every month
Pushed into my arms advancement beyond my precious years

He walked gracefully
Lightly tip toeing to the place that will no longer
Be a blind fate after that day
He changed me
Erased the security of what was home
Rearranged my perception to believe this has to be ok

I trusted him
To protect me
From all the danger of the world
Failing to comprehend that he was what they warned me about

DON'T TALK TO STRANGERS
THEY MAY HURT YOU
DON'T TALK TO STRANGERS
THEY MAY SNATCH YOU
DON'T TALK TO STRANGERS
THEY MAY RAPE YOU

But wait if strangers are that bad then
What does that make him
Are we not flesh of the same
Do our features not mirror each other
From the same tree that started this whole define line that beats

But you tell me don't talk to strangers
What about the shadow that moves in silence through the middle of the night
That has an open invitation because is blood not thicker than water
Or does that not apply to him

Who you trusted to leave behind and take care of me
Not knowing the physical entanglement
That took place on a quick grocery run
Or during the hours of I work to take care of you

Thing is I don't blame you
Because since I was young you never paid attention
So how can I hold fault to the person that barely knew my existence

Late night early mornings it didn't matter
As long as there was time in between
That's when he took advantage
Stole the best part of me
Put me on full display on incompetence with that part
Had me feeling like an idiot

Because nights of wanting to be intimate
Turned into wall covered hugs
Twitching and shaking from sweat filled dreams
Not knowing how to properly be touched without jumping out of my skin
In a panic that this isn't right

Even though I was now of consensual age
Broken couldn't begin to illustrate
How he killed the finest part of me
My childhood innocence

So, let me congratulate him on
Insecurities, self-doubt, hate, and never-ending heartbreak
He changed me before I knew who me was

I will no longer hold a grudge
Instead think of this as a letter of congratulations
For forever damaging blood