A Peace Of My Heart You'll Never Get

M

Well Well Well You are my last one for now I'll just explain what happened then let my emotions out even tho I just wanna go off haha.We liked each other before then we both confessed it to each other we dated for alittle then broke up because we thought I was moving.During that summer I was hoping to see you again I really wanted to I just wanted to go back to the old school and be with you,I prayed every night just to be with you again because I missed you so much and to see my friends but it was mostly just to see you.Then some drama in my family happens and I comeback to the old area where I use to live. We get back together and just say we never broke up since we we're kinda friends with benefits.I was very blind to be completely honest.We date I think everything is good then it starts to happen. I get suspended for chipping a Guy's tooth And I couldn't go to the dance with you and I start overthinking About you being touchy with other people and I don't get it why is this happening to me please go away...My friends get back from the dance and we talk they don't know how I was and they cheer me up...You get touchy with someone I don't say anything for abit and it eats up inside me then I talk to you about it cuz I couldn't handle it and You crazy about it Kinda odd and a red flag but didn't matter because I loved you and wanted to stay with you. You do it again and I talk to you about it and it seems odd because you throw abit of Tantrum and why would you do that at this age? Let me explain she basically acted like she didn't wanna talk to anyone and she seemed mad at me and that doesn't make any sense at all like tf bruh? But I didn't say anything And you did it even more but I just didn't say anything Because I Loved you and didn't wanna lose you.and Then we get to the End of the line.You was texting my old homie On Valentine's day like bruh what? But you guys was talking about how y'all used to like each other? Wtf bruh and that's weird like why do that shit and then y'all say you guys would be dating in another universe rn? Tf wrong with y'all bruh and then he says he would ask her for nudes like Bruh why the fuck you still talking about this on Valentine's day? Then she says well if she don't send me any what makes em think she would send them any to em Then says You should just get it yourself in that text like my nig- it's on Valentine's day then I find this out later but my homie told me that guy placed his head on her shoulder when I wasn't looking like BRUHHHH it's cool tho for rn. So yeah that happens and I'm just hurt not tryna say anything and that night I had the time of my life I danced with her haha we kissed while we danced and I had fun myself she knew I was abit scared of her leaving me that night because like I said with one of my ex's They left me during a dance so I was scared but she didn't and I had fun and was happy til afew weeks later I see the texts sorry if I checked ur messages I just have trust issues and have a good fucking reason to my g.So Yuh that happens and I'm just Fighting inside with that and then the last 2 days before we go into quarantine I see you and him, Him leaning his head on ur shoulder like Bruh I told you not to do any touchy shit like ik I may be alittle over protective but that isn't right and it hurt it really did.Yeah that happens then I'm in quarantine hurt inside wanting to stay because I told her I didn't ever wanna leave her because I love her so much but then I have a metal breakdown infront of my own mother that's how bad I was hurt mentally and emotionally just because of a Fucking girl and I should never feel like that over a girl smh but yeah and before that I prayed for a sign from God to give me a sign if I should leave or stay and my mom giving me an answer is a big answer and I said alright and broke up with her wasn't easy it really wasn't and I was just broken to be honest knowing I left someone that hurt me so much even tho I loved I cried about her bruh and that isn't right because of the reason.

Now to talk about how I feel....You broke me and as a guy to say that isn't really right ...We had great memories You went to the movies with me on my birthday we went to the movies again and stuff we're abit freaky and stuff yeah..I was hoping to have a bright future with you like us get married, have kids, Like bruh I was legit planning to lose my V Card to you :/ even tho I knew what you did and I had to learn this through an anime but I had just realize I wasn't accepting the fact of what you did and that ain't right I couldn't face the acts and ignored it just in hopes of a great future with you.I Had to have my friends be there for me to feel better and still haven't yet Look I Do miss you yes I'm gonna be honest but just fuck you I have a heart that is emotionally scarred because of you That's why my name is Scxrred now and other reasons but why just why would you do that to me if you truly loved me huh? Probably don't Fucking know since you can never accept the truth And kinda hurts that you couldn't really trust me that much enough to tell me some stuff yk? I was planning to tell you stuff but you never did so what was the point?You cause to me always think of you and I don't want to I even tried getting side hoes just to get over you and it didn't work sadly and that fucking sucks I just want you to get out of my damn head please and I want you out all my dreams I don't love you like I use to anymore please leave me the fuck alone and I don't ever wanna talk to your bitch ass,Your the reason I feel like I might not date again because I Shame myself now.I feel like I'm ugly no one will ever love me and other people will be better then me and it isn't Fucking right.I Don't wanna be your friend again I don't ever wanna be hurt because of you again.I had my homies Making me feel better and they made me laugh because of the fucked up shit they said about it and you think I like to agree to what they said? No but after being hurt so many times and realizing it, it turns into hate and I joined them And No I don't Regret it I don't ever wanna be near or see you again.And if people in public how I feel about you all I'ma say is I don't fuck with 2 faced bitches :/ Even times when I try to be happy I can't because of you and when my friends makes jokes I overthink because of you so this is to you my most recent Ex you made me learn better kinda hurts because your my longest relationship and I won't ever forget you...I'm writing this in hopes of letting go of you because I don't wanna hold on to you no longer Go find someone else you can hurt because I'm not the one.I learned now don't date girls that are Bipolar because some of my ex's we're lmao so my last things to say Yes I miss you but I hate you as well because you basically cheated on me :/ But I have to learn to be ok and let go so this is my goodbye to you and I don't hope any good on you and if you ever see this I wouldn't be mad if you cried seeing this matter of fact it would make me happy knowing you understand the pain you put me through.Now I have to learn how to get over you even better and find someone better and hopefully I do because I don't ever wanna feel hurt like I did with you.Good bye :/