The flat was quiet when I returned. No Rogan, no Mathias; no one. I was alone.
I had only been gone a fortnight, but the place looked like it had been overrun by squatters and then abandoned. Takeout cartons and crisps packets littered the living room and kitchen floor, cushions and blankets were scattered across the sofa, and a musty smell filled the air. I let out a deep sigh, put my bag on top of a screwed-up blanket, and headed to the kitchen for bin bags.
I'd just finished polishing the piano, lifted the lid and placed my index finger delicately onto one of the keys when I heard Mathias's voice.
"Don't." I turned to find him stood in the living room. "Please. I can't bare the sound of the instrument. Not now. Not without Nadia, not without my son."
"Mathias..." I didn't know what to say. He had lost everything. He had lost his Mate, and his son all in the space of a year, all because of what I was, because of what I had failed to do.
"Why didn't you come back? Why did you stay away for so long? I needed you, Nina, and you left." I didn't have any answers for him, not that he would understand.
I had been gone two weeks, had killed at least half a dozen vampires and one extremely powerful witch, all for a grimoire that had told me nothing. At least nothing new. I had burnt the old, leather bound, book before even leaving the country of its origin.
"I gave it up for her, and now she's gone."
"Wait. What did you give up?"
"My immortality. I'm human, Nina, and I did it for her." His nose flared and his chin quivered. "I didn't even have chance to tell her."
"I'm sorry."
"What for? You didn't kill her. You didn't know I'd given up everything to live a normal life for her. You didn't know I'd asked her to marry me as we stood in front of the Taj Mahal, or that she had said that she would marry me. You didn't know because you're never around." Mathias slammed the lid of the piano shut and I barely got my hand out of the way. "I wish you'd never come back. Maybe then I could have led a normal life and moved on."
I found myself holding back tears at his words as he turned his back on me. In the recesses of my mind I knew he was just hurting, that he probably didn't mean it, but in the moment, it felt final, like he had completely cut me off, and it hurt. I had never meant to leave him behind, to make him feel unwanted or unneeded. He had been the only constant in my life for a thousand years, I didn't want to push him away.
"Mat..."
"Don't. Just don't." He didn't even turn to look at me as he spoke, he just kept moving, shutting himself away in his room.
My joints went weak and my stomach felt empty; I collapsed to my knees and sobbed. Was I doomed to live eternity alone? All I seemed to do was destroy anything that was good for me.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and for a brief second, I hoped it was Mathias, telling me everything was okay.
It wasn't.
It was Rogan, asking where I'd been, why I hadn't called. He was worried. I supposed he had a right a to be. Anyone would be, if their partner had disappeared without a word. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to respond to him. I didn't want to ruin that too.
At that second, Mathias's door opened a crack, and Biscuit came bounding out. It was strange to think I hadn't seen the French bulldog for two weeks, and she seemed delighted at my return.
"Hey there girl." I scratched her head between her ears and her tail wagged. "Shall we take you for a walk, Pupper?" She placed her front paws on my knees and licked my nose. I smiled sadly, maybe I wasn't completely alone, but Biscuit wouldn't live forever.
