This is How You Lost Me (To Be Revised)

Seventh

Perfume. You came back as if nothing happened, as if you haven't been ignoring me for a week. You acted normally, so I tried to leave it all behind. Of course, I can do that. I can forget the pain as long as everything is okay again, we're okay again, and as long as you don't disappear.

-

I remember you asking me out of nowhere what scent I liked.

"Floral." I answered, still focused on the book I was reading.

"Any flower in particular?" You asked.

"Anything as long as it's floral."

You were caressing my hair. I noticed you liked doing that, so I let you because it also makes me cozy.

"Is that so? Hmm, okay." You said, and that's when I looked at you weirdly, and you just shrugged and made a face.

The next morning you handed me a paper bag.

"What's this?"

"See for yourself." You wiggled your brows.

I opened it and saw my favorite perfume.

"I didn't tell you the specific kind." I said, surprised.

"I asked around." You replied as you tilted your head to the side.

I thanked you and handed your gift too. It was simple. It was a headband for you to use during your training. I noticed your hair getting in the way, so it made me bought it.

"Just what I needed!" You exclaimed. "Thank you, love." You kissed my cheeks.

"It's simple, though. Let me make it up to you next time." I said, ashamed. Compare to what you have given, it was not extravagant at all.

"This is enough." You said, smiling. You look pleased, so I stopped pushing it. After all, I began to learn in figuring out whether you were lying or not.

Not long after, we parted ways. I went home to change my clothes. Today's our 3rd anniversary, and we decided to eat dinner at an expensive restaurant later that night.

It's fun doing this once in a while. Dressing up glamorously and going out using a car instead of our usual walks.

I wore a champagne satin slip dress. My hair was in a bun, leaving some strands at the front to dangle.

I also wore the necklace you gave me on my birthday and for the final touch, the perfume you recently gifted.

At around 7 pm, you picked me up using your Rover.

I gaped as I saw you step out of it. You looked dashing. I mean, you looked good in your normal, but this is different.

It wasn't just the butterflies that make my stomach turn but also my heart that was beating erratically.

"Do I look okay?" You asked, concerned.

"Y-you look handsome as usual." I complimented shyly. I realized I was staring at him for a long time.

Handsome wasn't enough to fully describe him. How to say this? He looks more refined than usual, enchanting with his hair slicked back and bewitching with his dress shirt opened up until his chest.

"And you look beautiful as always, Clau." You smiled and kissed the top of my head.

As we arrived, you held my hand and assisted me in walking. You always do these things, but why is my heart feeling different than usual?

"Is there a problem?" You asked when I looked too lost in my thoughts.

I shook my head. "Then why are you not looking at me?" You asked, bothered.

How will I answer? How can I explain that I am confused too, as to why I am being like this? Why am I shy? Why is my heart thumping louder than the normal times?

The night ended with me avoiding you. You were silent as we drive back.

"I'm sorry." I looked down, biting my lower lip. This night was supposed to be for us to enjoy, but because of my feelings getting all mixed up, I ruined everything.

"Is there anything wrong?" You asked. "Did I do anything wrong? Tell me, Clau, so I can make things right."

And with that, I felt guilty. I didn't know how to explain it because I was also befuddled with how I acted, so I reached for your hand and placed it on my chest.

"I think... No, this is the reason why." I shortly said, hoping you would understand everything I was feeling.

You reached for my hand and placed it in your chest too. And from there, I felt something familiar. It was like mine. Like my heart, racing like wild horses, unkempt and untamed, feeling like it's going to burst any second.

You smiled shyly while scratching the back of your neck. "I thought I was the only one."

***

Today, I couldn't bear to smell and wear the same perfume, my favorite perfume. The scent made the memories linger. It reminded me of the butterflies in my stomach and the wild horses in our hearts that I long to forget.