The Secret

5

Panic set in as you woke up in an unfamiliar place, rubbing your eyes you squinted as the sunlight was bright. In your panicked state you didn't even notice the person laying next to you, one look at the arm that was draped over your waist and you knew who it belonged to.

"Fuck" You mumbled carefully lifting Jax's arm off your waist, trying not to wake him, holding your breath as he stirred before settling back down again.

You never got dressed so quick in your life, this wasn't what was meant to happen, you had told yourself you wouldn't go down this road again, there was too much heartbreak. Yet somehow you let this happen, groaning as you remembered what happened last night. You knew smoking was a bad idea, it always ended up with you being horny.

Walking out of Jax's room you went on the search for coffee and also trying to avoid Opie. The last thing you needed was to face the embarrassment of last night, especially after he walked in on you.

"Morning Lass" Chibs strong accent said from behind you making you jump.

"Shit Chibby, 'bout gave me a heart attack" You breathed placing a hand over your heart as you spun to face him.

"Heard you coming out of Jackie Boys room and though you'd want this" He smiled passing you a coffee.

"You know me too well" You laughed as he nodded his head to the door signalling you to follow him

Sitting on the wall, you placed your coffee next to you whilst you both sparked a cigarette up.

"Wanna talk about last night?" He asked

"Nothing to talk about Chibs, it was a mistake, shouldn't have happened" you sighed taking a drag of your smoke.

"Come on you don't believe that shit do you" He asked softly

"Yeah I do, everything with me and Jax ends in heartbreak for one or both of us, I told myself when I came back to charming I wouldn't fall for that stupid fucking smile again yet hear I am, falling faster than ever" You sighed "Maybe it was a mistake coming back home"

"It was never a mistake coming back home lass, lets face it this place will always call out to you wherever you run to" He smiled.

"I know that's what sucks about this whole situation, I was never happy in Chicago" You nodded "But I don't know Chibs, I've not even been in a relationship since I left charming, because no one was Jax. No matter what I do I cannot get him out my head"

"You never know things might be different this time lass, you are both older now, both have grown up a hell of a lot and we have all noticed the change in Jax since you came back into our lives" Chibs said. "Don't stress yourself out kiddo, see where things go between you two and go from there, no one is holding a gun to your head saying you have to get back together"

"Maybe it was just the weed talking last night" You laughed.

"Maybe, but I honestly don't think it was" He said placing his hand over yours "but don't stress about it"

Hearing the door open you looked over to see Opie and Jax walking out laughing.

"Oh god now to face the embarrassment" You laughed as the boys approached you, Jax sitting on the wall throwing his arm around your shoulders as he sparked a smoke up as Opie glared at you. "Come just spit it out Ope"

"I cannot believe you two" He scolded pointing between me and Jax "You could have at least locked the freaking door, I saw way too much of my little sister last night"

You could feel your cheeks flush red at the fact he caught you.

"Wasn't planned bro" Jax shrugged "Just kinda happened?"

"Well next time lock the fucking door" Ope laughed

"Whoa who said there will be a next time" you said arching your eyebrow.

Soon enough the boys had left leaving just you and Jax sat outside.

"About last night" Jax started

"Jax, I don't know what I want okay, I came home so you could get to know your daughter not to get back together" You sighed.

"You saying last night was a mistake" He whispered

"I don't know, I am still kinda processing things okay, we have spent the last 3 months being awkward around each other and yesterday was something else with going for a ride and then the party" You said resting your head on his shoulder.

"I still love you" He said kissing the top of your head "In fact I never stopped loving you"

"Jax" You sighed "Let me just figure out what I want okay, I'm not going to lie and say I don't love you because I still do but there was so much hurt and heartache throughout our whole relationship last time and I don't just have myself to think about now. What if we did give it another shot and things went south again that would crush amber"

"I know" He sighed.

"She is so happy that she finally has her daddy, you are all she talks about and I don't want to ruin that" You whispered.

"Promise you won't rule us out though?" He asked

"I promise" You mumbled as he pulled you into a hug as you stomach growled loudly.

"Come on you lets go get some food" He said helping you off the wall "before you get cranky" he winked

"I do not get cranky when I am hungry" You scoffed.

"You so do, it is actually scary" he laughed as you both walked back into the clubhouse.