High School Sweethearts

Mayb, maybe not

Steve's POV
I woke up, got ready, had breakfast and went to the park. Nat seemd very upset yesterday. I don't know if I did something or what but know everything's gonna be okay.
Natasha's POV
My god Im freaking out. What the fuck did I do. Why was I so fucking stupid. As I got to the park I saw Steve standing there. He is so cute, like a puppy. I really do love him so much. Ughh, why the fuck did you do that to him Natasha??
S:"Hey" He said smiling and packing my lips
N:"Hi" I said nervously
S:"Wanna talk right away or?"
N:"I cheated on you" What? Why did I say it like that. No no no...
Third person POV
Steve was looking shocked at her
S:"Sorry what?" He asked, praying that he heard it wrong
N:"Im sorry. Last night I drank and Loki kissed me, but I kissed back" She said looking down with tears forming in her eyes
S:"Ou" Steve said looking down following her gaze
Natasha saw that Steve had some tears strolling down his cheek. She came near him to wipe them away but Steve took a step back, that broke her heart, but she deserved it.
N:"What now?"
S:"How could you?" He asked with a broken voice
N:"I don't know. I love you so much, I don't know why the fuck I kissed him back, I'm so sorry baby, you know that I truly love you"
S:"Yeah. I still need time to se what... Ugh... I don't know, let's just go home and.... Think I guess. You should see if you really wanna be with me, and I.. I don't know what I'm going to do"
N:"I do want to be with you Steve, really, the kiss didn't mean anything"
S:"And you still kissed him" He said with a harsh voice this time
S:"And put our relationship on the line"
They were quite for a while, but Steve spoke again
S:"For fuck sake I was willing to do anything for you Natasha. I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life. I wanted to wake up with you every morning. Why did you do that Nat. That one stupid mistake makes me question our whole relationship"
He said with tears in his eyes.
Natasha watched him, the words broke her heart. He loved her so much and she goes out and dose this to him
N:"Im sorry" Was the only thing she could say
S:"Me to. Go home Nat. Think about us, if you even want to be an us" he said turning away to leave
Of course she wanted to be with him. She loved the shit out of that guy. There's nothing to think about. Seeing him so broke and disappointed broke her. He was always so nice and he was always in a good mood, she just ruined that. She ruined him.
Steve walked home thinking of what just happened. He knew Nat loved him, but still. Kissing another guy, that's not okay, and being drunk isn't an excuse. He just needs time to think. He isn't going to leave hef, that's for sure, but they just need time, both of them. They've been in their own little world for too long, they didn't focus on their friends or families. They just need time.
Meanwhile Natasha was heading home thinking that that was it
It's over, she fucked up, she cheated. Why would he forgive her? She wouldn't forgive him for sure, even if she did she would torture him with the waiting first. She would ignore him and take as much time as possible before he lost interest in her. Maby it's for the best? Maby she was just stopping him from his dreams. He said that he doesn't care what collage he goes to. That's carp. He has always been such a good student, he always knew where and when he wanted to be in life. He was so well put together, until she came along.
"I ruined him. He was so passionate towards everyone and everything, and then I came along and took him for myself" she thought.
She got home and went to the kitchen to eat something. Yelena saw her facial expression and knew something was wrong
Y:"What happened?"
N:"Nothing" Natasha answered looking at her hands as she made a peanut jelly sandwich.
Y:"Nat come on" Yelena said, but Nat focused on her sandwiche not saying a word
Y:"Did you break up?" Yelena asked another question
N:"I don't know, I guess" Nat answered dryly still not looking at her
Y:"How can you not know"
N:"Because I don't. He said he needs time, and that's it. That's all he said, besides that he thinks that I'm not serious about us" She said finally looking at Yelena but just for a brief moment. She took her sandwiche and walked up to her room.
She had a lot massages in the group chat with the girls, but she really wasn't in the mood to answer and she didn't want to hear anything about how Maria and Sam got together or Wanda and Bucky said 'I love you' for the first time. In normal circumstances she would be so soo happy for them, but now she really doesn't want to hear about anyones love stories or love problems cause she had a lot of those. The problems not the stories of course.
As it got darker she sat in her room wrapped in a blanket and looking out her window. She didn't mean to be depressed or soppy but she was. And she hated that. She never felt like that. She never actually cared if a boy was mad her, she never loved a guy like she loves Steve.
There was a knock on her door. She turned around and opened the door just to see little Katy standing there.
N:"Hey Katy, what's up?" She asked trying to sound happy
K:"Why are you sad Natty?" The little girl asked
N:"Im not, Im just... I am kinda sad, but you, can't tell anyone okay?" She said kneeling down to reach her hight.
K:"Do you wanna talk ?" She asked wit a cute voice
N:"Sure baby, com in" she said opening her door more so that the girl could walk in.
She walked to her bed and tried to sit on it but it was a tall bad so Natasa helped her putting her in her lap and sitting on her bad
K:"Why are you sad?" She asked again
Natasha was carcassing her hair
N:"Because I disappointed someone that I really care about" She answered looking at her hair
K:"Is it Steve?" She asked
N:"Yes" Natasha said letting a tear fall on her cheek but whipped it quickly
K:"Why?"
N:"Well I did something wrong. If you love someone you just love them and you don't hurt them. If you love someone you kiss them on the cheek like we kiss mom and dad, but you don't kiss other people. You don't kiss other parents, and I kissed a different boy, so Steve is a little disappointed that I kissed that other boy" Natasha tried to explain so she doesn't say anything inappropriate for her age.
K:"Why did you kiss the other boy?" She asked. Natasha sighed and kissed the girls head before talking again
N:"Well I don't know. I didn't want to kiss him, he kissed me, but I didn't pull away, I let him kiss me"
K:"Is Steve going to forgive you?" She asked kinda sad. Katy really liked Steve. Alex didn't like him cause he was jealous, but Katy loved playing with him and he loved playing with her. He taught she was a really sweet girl, she really reminded him of Natasha.
N:" Well I don't know Katy. Maybe , maybe not. But we will always love each other"
K:"Why don't you then be together"
N:"It's complicated... Maybe we love each other but he just can't trust me anymore. He might think that I would do something like that again"
K:"Would you?"
N:"No. I love him to much to do so"
K:"Then tell him"
N:"I will" Natasha said in an attempt to stop talking about Steve cause she's just getting sad again
K:"Will he come around again? I like him"
N:"I know you do. He will. Maybe not for a while, but I will ask him to come see you. Okay?"
K:"Okay" Katy said yawning
N:"Okay, It's late, go to your room. I've been in this room the whole day. I wanna eat and take a shower" Natasha said smiling and sitting up, putting Katy on the floor
K:"Don't be sad Natty, okay?"
N:"Okay"
K:"Good night"
N:"Night baby" Natasha said kissing her head. She walked downstairs to get something to eat. Her mother was sitting in the living room watching something on tv. Nat came back from the kitchen and sat in the living room eating something and watching tv with her mom.
Natalia:"Do you want to talk?" Her mother asked looking at her
N:"Not really. I had a conversation with Katy. She listened" Natasha smiled