the evening jog

Vidya’s prose

“Oye Disha”, I called my younger sister. I was searching for my running shoes. I was about to go for a jog. “Do you know where did mom keep my running shoes?” Before Disha could answer, mom only came inside the room. “Where are you going?”, she interrogated me.
“I am going for a jog mom”, I made an obvious statement. “You have come from London just yesterday morning, after 2 years. Spend some time with us beta”, mom used the emotional atyachaar technique.
“Mom, I’ll be back in an hour or so. You know I make it a point that I run for an hour at least 4-5 days a week”, I explained her.
My mom is easy to convince. She gave me a smile and said, “Okay. But only one hour. I have made your favorite Chole Bhature for dinner. So be home in time.”
“How can I be late for Chole-bhature?”, I smiled. “By the way, your running shoes are in that last rack”, she pointed towards the rack and went outside.
I opened the rack and removed the shoes. Even after 2 years, there was no dust on them. Mom would have cleaned them. She knew I would go for a jog. There’s a reason why we love our mom’s, isn’t it?
While I was wearing the shoes, I realized Disha wanted to tell me something. “What happened?”, I asked. “Didi, I had a question”, she said, hesitatingly. I nodded. “Are you sure you want to go for a jog at this time? I mean you can go in the night also, or tomorrow early morning”, she said.
I stopped for a second. “Why?”, I asked. She chose her words very carefully, “I mean, you know it is 6 pm, on a Saturday. You might meet V….”, “No Disha I wouldn’t meet anyone”, I interrupted and snapped. “You should focus on whatever you are studying”, I said sternly. There was an abrupt silence in the room.
I walked out of the house and took the stairs. I had not thought about Veer at all. Why did Disha have to remind me about him? Now I will not be able to jog peacefully. I would be constantly alert about people around me. I hate her for this.
I put my earphones on and started the last song that was playing. I didn’t know which song it was. I was completely distracted with the thought of bumping into Veer.
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Veer’s Prose

“Mom, where are my black socks?” I shouted. Normally I find them in my cupboard but today they were not there. My mom was in her room deciding what to wear for today evening’s dinner at Mr. Gupta’s place.
Mom did not answer. I thought she might not have listened. So, I went to her room. She had her entire wardrobe and entire cosmetic kit on the bed, deciding what to wear for the dinner.
“Woahh, new business mom?”, I chuckled. She looked up at me and gave a disappointing look. “I thought you were coming with us to the dinner”, she said.
“And what made you think that?”, I raised my left eye-brow.
“Why do I have to convince you to come for a regular get-together every single time!”, she shouted.
“Mom, I am not a social person like you. You know after I have started this new business last year, I hardly get time to work on my health. And 6:00 to 7:00 pm on Saturdays and Sundays is my jogging hour, and this weekend routine has been the same from many years, like many many years. Now will you tell me where are my black socks?”, I said.
“Veer you are 26 years old now, you should be attending such social parties….”she was saying. But I interrupted, “Mom, please. I am not interested. My black socks?”
She took a deep breath and gave me a look as if saying that you are totally hopeless.
“Your black socks have not dried. They were still wet. Wear some other socks today”, she finally revealed the suspense.
“Okay mom, thanks”, I said and rushed to my room. I wore the socks, then the shoes. I got up and took my phone, switched on the Bluetooth. Then I took my earphones and switched them on. They got connected via Bluetooth and I was all set to go.
“Mom I am leaving. See you”, I said. I didn’t wait for her goodbye. I knew she wouldn’t reply. She may not talk to me for a few days for skipping the “much awaited” dinner.
I walked outside and took the stairs. I came to the ground floor and entered the compound of my society. I smiled at Ashok uncle. He always meets me at this time. There has been no further communication between him and me other than this one smile every weekend.
I stepped outside the gate of my building. Suddenly I started to feel bad. Empty. I was not feeling good about something. What was it? Me not attending the dinner party of Mr. Gupta? Obviously not Veer. Then? What thing was making me feel bad, as if something was missing.
Suddenly a thought struck me. VIDYA!! My mind shouted.
I thought for a while. Maybe……….., my mind is right.
OH God no no no no no. Damn. I don’t want all those old things to bother me again. It's been 2 years. I don’t want to think about that selfish bitch. She not only ended things abruptly but also didn’t give our relationship an opportunity to survive.
Just focus on the jogging.
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Vidya’s Prose

It was a nice, cool evening. I was constantly looking at each and every guy around me so that I could be sure the he is not Veer.
Oh wait, the last I had heard about him was he had started his own business last year and was busy with it all the time, even weekends. Right. Which implies, he wouldn’t go jogging when his business is not even walking.
So Vidya, there is absolutely no need to worry about meeting him. He would be at his home or office working on his business.
Even then, I was not able to concentrate properly. I was still not aware about which song was playing on my phone.
I came at the end of the lane that connects to the main road. I live near the most romantic and peaceful location of Mumbai, the Marine Drive. I crossed the main road and went on the opposite side. The footpath on the opposite side is wider. Also, this side with a wider footpath is actually like the shore of the sea. So, the cool breeze welcomes you with open hands.
I started jogging towards the right.
I remember I had taken this path 2 years back when I had met him for the last time at that cafe. I always wonder whether what I did was right.
I had got the opportunity to work with the London team of our office after a lot of hard work and networking with people across levels and across countries. I had always wanted that chance right from the time I had known about it. It is said that they have an upper limit of 10% of people in thier teams from outside countries. Which means, in a team size of 50, only 5 people are allowed from other countries. I had to work there for an initial 2 years and then my permanent shift would be decided.
After the completion of 2nd year, i.e. just before 3 months, the seniors over there appreciated my contribution to the work and were happy to have me permanently on-board.
I had come to India yesterday to discuss the same with my family and start the process internally.
It was a big leap in my career. It was a chance that does not come your way every now and then.
On one hand I had the London offer, an offer that was the most important step in my career and denying it would have costed a lot on my growth, and on the other hand was the man I loved the most, with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life.
It was not an easy choice. Both the sides weighed equal on the beam balance. It was up to me on which side to put the weight of priority so as to tilt it downwards.
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Veer’s Prose

I came at the end of my lane which connects to the main road. Ahhhhhhhh, this beauty of Marine Drive. It is so good to have a house so close to Marine drive. Be it any season of the year or any time of the day, marine drive is as beautiful and as peaceful all the time.
I had to cross the main road to go on the opposite side where there is a relatively bigger footpath with more space to jog. However, being a Saturday evening, there were too many people, or I should say couples.
However, this one thought was not leaving my head.
“Why did I think of her suddenly? What triggered her thought? Nothing had happened. I had left all of this shit almost 2 years back. I had moved on. What happened today then?”, I was talking to myself.
“Okay Veer, just stop thinking about it. She was very special for you, getting random thoughts about her is not a very shocking thing”
We guys were together for 3 years. An abrupt end had affected me the most, hadn’t it?
I was thinking about us while I was jogging. I jogged a few steps further to the left. On the opposite side of the road came that café, ‘Café Good Times’. Such an ironic name. I hate that café after we broke up over there. Though technically the break up has yet not happened, even after 2 years of assumed break up.
“Okay, you know what Veer, just shut up. You have much other issues to think over. Like the client meeting that is scheduled this Monday. You know this client is tough, you just going there and blabbering some facts from the ppt wouldn’t be enough”, I said to myself.
Yes. The client, Ms Isha Mehta. She has so much experience in her field. Getting her to sit with our team to listen to our proposal is a big thing in itself. I must convince her any how to get associated with our company. It will have a very positive reputation of our company in the market.
And yes, what were you saying about the abrupt end?
“Veer, shut up”, I had to say it to myself. I was not able to think about any other thing.
I stopped for some breath. I started walking for a while. I was thinking about how I first saw Vidya.
I was on my normal Saturday jog routine that day. I had left my home at 6, just like today. I jog every time upto 5 kms. So, alongwith jogging on the main road of marine drive, I also jog in some of the adjacent lanes. Vidya lived just 3 lanes away from my house. As I entered her lane that evening, I saw her for the first time.
Normally, whenever I put my favourite songs on the phone, I am lost into my thoughts. I don’t pay much attention to the people around. But a girl coming from the opposite direction towards me caught my attention.
She was also on a jog/walk it seemed. She had put on her jogging pants and t shirt.
There was such a charming grace in her walk, her face was brimmed with confidence and her gleaming eyes had clarity of her vision. She carried strong, positive vibes around her. If you are anywhere near her, you cannot just pass by without noticing her.
Maybe I stared at her for more time than I should have. She realised that I was looking at her. She gave me a very disappointing look and left past me. Shitt, that was so embarrassing.
I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Even though I had seen her for a few seconds, I could not get her out my eyes. I was badly waiting for the next weekend to meet her again, for a few seconds.
It then became like a routine. For the next few Saturdays, I always wished to bump into her and see her. Quite teenagerish, right? I also felt the same. But I couldn’t help it.
I did not see her for all the coming Saturdays. But on some Saturdays, sun would rise from the west and we would meet. We now started exchanging proper smiles to each other. I always used to wonder what would she be thinking about me. Though, to be honest, I did not care. I was happy and satisfied meeting her Saturdays to Saturdays. But God was great.
It was my friend Khushboo’s birthday. She had thrown a big party at her farmhouse in Lonavala. Many of her other friends were also invited. We all were enjoying the booze and music, when I accidentally happened to look at the front door. Some girl entered. I was at a distance from the door and a bit high, couldn’t immediately recognise the person. But I recognised the grace in her walk, the confidence in her eyes and felt the vibes of her. She was smiling and greeting her friends. Yes, there she was. I didn’t know her name then. Till that evening, I called her my jogging crush. I came to know afterwards that my friend Khushboo and Vidya went to the same classes and were good friends. Anyway, that is not the point.
After I saw her entering the house, she disappeared into the crowd. I couldn’t find her. I kept looking for her but in vain. I gave up and went to bring myself another beer. 
"So, you followed me over here also”, somebody said from behind. I turned. She was standing over there, smiling. Seeing her, my heart was beating at the same speed at which Usian Bolt runs. I didn’t know what to say.
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Vidya’s Prose

I was tired after jogging for this long. I started walking for a while. I was still not aware which song was playing.
Is there anything as definite as black or white in life? Maybe, right or wrong, good or bad are based on mere perspectives.
For example, there is a slum area which government has decided to redevelop and convert it into a housing complex. All the slum dwellers would get a flat in that housing society. For the growth and development of city this decision seems to be right, good. But for slum dwellers the same decision may be perceived as incorrect.
When I came to know that I have been considered for the London proposal, I had 2 choices, to discuss it with Veer and come to a decision or, to not discuss with him and take a decision.
I wanted to rule out the second option, I didn’t want a situation where Veer us unaware about any facts. We were together for 3 years. I loved him, didn’t want to leave him. But he is emotionally very sensitive. Sometimes, he becomes so emotional that he overlooks the substance of the situation and starts concentrating over possible negative consequences.
It was a great deal for me. A one-time offer, a big chance. I didn’t want any odds to be against it. I didn’t want to risk it over anyone else’s feelings and thoughts, even though that anyone else is Veer. I decided not to tell him anything about it till the time everything was sorted from my side. I told him about going to London just a week before my flight.
I was being selfish, I knew. Maybe there would have been a better way than not discussing the situation with him and mere informing him about my decision. But did I have the time to think about that other way? And most importantly, had the other way changed the outcome?
It wasn’t easy for me to leave him. You don’t every day meet people who loves you with all their heart and might. But you don’t get anything for free. To get the London offer, I had to pay the price of my relationship. I had to get out of that relationship and all memories of it at the earliest. I couldn’t have managed both of it together.
You cannot give time simultaneously to 2 very important things of your life. You either divide the time that is available with you or leave one of the two things.
Amidst all these thoughts, I was feeling guilt, anger and anguish, all of them at the same time. I decided to ask this one question to myself. I had avoided this question for the past 2 years. Today, I decided to face it.
Was the price that I paid, worth it?
I stopped walking. Closed my eyes. I didn’t want to think about any logic, any reason. I just wanted an answer, straight from my heart. After a while, my heart finally answered. Yes.
I took a deep breath. They say it doesn’t matter how many of them are against you, what matters is are you with yourself?
I started walking, feeling more confident about myself.
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Veer’s Prose

“She did not discuss her decision of going to London with me. Why?
Even after asking her repetitively, she did not answer any of my questions. Why?
She loved me as much I loved her yet she broke our relationship. Why?
Even after going to London, she did not bother to call me back or reply to any of my messages. Why?
Did she find some other guy?”
I started to feel all that pain again, as if I was rewinding my days 2 years back. All that anguish, numbness, distrust, anger, everything, all over again. I was again surrounded by all the why’s and how’s and I again started to feel low. All the confidence that I had gathered after she went to London started diluting. Fresh tears started rolling down my eyes.
I didn’t want to go through all of this again. I didn’t want myself to come down at a standstill again. I didn’t want to cry for Vidya, again.........
I started feeling the rage inside me. I wanted this chain of thoughts to end. But I couldn’t help it.
“Do you remember what coffee did we order that day?”, I asked to myself.
“Do you remember we had planned on shutting this topic today?”, I answered.
“Ahhhh, you had ordered an oreo milkshake and she had ordered a cappuccino”, I was precise.
“she was stirring the coffee after adding sugar when she......”, I was recollecting the events that occurred in that meeting when I interrupted myself.
“Okay that’s enough. I will repeat what happened that evening in case you have forgotten”, I lost my control now.
“Vidya was behaving a bit off from a long time. Even after your repetitive questioning, she fucking kept on saying the same goddamn thing that it’s nothing Veer, everything is fine.
After a few days she calls you to that shitty cafe only to tell you that she has got an offer from her company in their London team, for which she insisted that it was once in a lifetime opportunity, it was a great opportunity for her growth, it was a big leap, etc, etc, etc ,etc...
Then she said that she had decided to take this offer and ‘move’ to London. You caught the word ‘move’ and started asking dumb questions. She interrupted and said that she will be gone for a minimum 1-2 years initially and then would decide for a permanent shift.
You became paranoid and started arguing over how did she take this decision without discussing it with you, what about “us” and all that shit. At a point, you completely lost yourself and started shouting. She tried to calm you down but you wouldn’t listen. You were just going on and on. Finally, she got up and left the cafe and you were sitting there like a dumb fool, everyone else in the cafe looking at you”, I blasted at myself.
I didn’t realise while all this conversation was going on, I had started running at almost double the speed. I was sweating badly and now I was even panting heavily. I stopped for a while. I didn’t know I would become this rude to myself.
I took some deep breaths.  I removed the earphones from my ears. I didn’t want to think about all of this again. I closed my eyes for a while. I calmed myself down. When I was ready, I started speaking to myself, this time calmly.
“Amidst all the negativity, pain and anguish, seldom do we look at the brighter side Veer. Look at the brighter side in your case. Emotionally, you have become stronger. You used to cry over all petty issues and problems. But when you faced the biggest loss of your life, you became tough.
You developed the courage to see things out of your comfort zone. That is when you decided to leave your job and act on your business plan. Till then, your business plan was just a thought. A thought that used to come to your mind when you were stressed with office work, and used to vanish when you would think about the risks involved.
Believe it or not, this break up has changed the way you think. We all experience at least one life changing situation. I think you should thank Vidya, not for coming into your life, but for going out.”
I was right. I had changed. I had evolved. Besides, I had no idea that Vidya’s passion for her career was to these extra-ordinary levels. Had Vidya stayed in India, would the both of us still been in this relationship? Would I ever take the courage to start with this business?
I don’t know. I didn’t want to know. I am happy in what I am doing now, and I know I have to go a long way.
I started walking. I was feeling much better. Much satisfied, much happier.
I was no longer feeling that emptiness. “Because you are complete with wisdom”, I joked. Thank God, I was out of this break up fiasco.

But destiny had no chill.

I put on my earphones back. I played my favourite motivational song, the title song of movie Dangal.

Normally, whenever I put my favourite songs in my phone, I am lost into my thoughts. I don’t pay much attention to the people around. But a girl coming from the opposite direction towards me caught my attention. There was such a charming grace in her walk, her face was brimmed with confidence and her gleaming eyes had clarity of her vision. She carried strong, positive vibes around her.
Maybe I stared at her for more time than I should have. She realised that I was looking at her.
VIDYA!!
Unexpected and unbelievable sight. For a second, I was completely stunned and surprised by seeing her. What is she doing here? She is in India? She didn’t tell me? She.....
“VEER”, I reminded myself to stop the entire questionnaire in my mind. If I were the old Veer, I would have been still upset for everything that had happened, I would have been filled with anger and rage.
I calmed myself down. I remembered she had said that she might come to India after her initial 2 years. She had also told that if things went well, she would go back permanently. I took a deep breath to let this shock sink in. But maybe, Vidya took more time to sink in.
She looked both shocked and stunned. She was not able to decide what to do.
But I noticed one thing very clearly. There was no guilt on her face. She still had her confident and graceful body language. No remorse, no regrets.
I kind of liked that thing. It means she had her own reasons for what she did, reasons she would have explained to me had I not behaved paranoid that night. I respected her choice, her priorities.
Neither of us would have thought that we would cross paths, like literally. I marvelled at the way destiny teases you. It made me meet her today in the same manner as I had met her for the first time.
This meet was as abrupt, just like the end of our relationship. But the end of our relationship had some meaning, some value that it added to our lives. Let us see what does this meeting has to offer.
I decided to do something out my comfort zone. I decided to have a small talk with her and then the both of us would continue on our paths. So, I started walking towards her, leaving every question, every doubt, every mistake behind.
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