To Make You Mine

•23•

"God dammit Tom." I groan, using the alcohol wipe to clean the blood off his knuckles.
"You know, the fact that my knuckles are bleeding just means I beat the shit out of him." He smirks.
"Right now is not the time to play tough guy. That was ridiculous." I sigh.
"He hit me first!" He exclaims.
"Yeah well I can't yell at him now can I?" I say and he laughs lightly.
"If you think about it, it's like you were the fragile girl in distress and I saved you. We're like a movie." He says and I roll my eyes. He's so annoying sometimes. Can't he ever just shut up.
"Will you hold still." I say, bandaging his hand.
"I'm not feeling too good." He says, gripping his hand on my shoulder tightly.
"I think I'm going to pass out..."
"Tom. Tom what's wrong?" I ask frantically as he sways slightly.
"I'm just kidding with you." He laughs.
"You dick!" I yell at him. "Why would you fucking do that?!"
"Because it was fun." He says.
"I hate you." I say.
"You love me." He smirks.
I finish up with his hand, looking up at him.
"You love me." He repeats himself.
He moves his hand from my shoulder to my neck, his fingertips tapping on my skin.
"If you don't want me.. if you don't want this.. pull away." He says, his lips almost brushing mine with how close we are. My heart thumps in my chest, making my breath unsteady.
His lips connect with mine, moving slowly, his tongue swiping across my bottom lip. I moan into the kiss as his tongue explores my mouth eagerly. My hands grip his shoulders, keeping myself steady. I can't make myself pull away, because the way his lips feel on mine is pure ecstasy. As he slips away from me, I feel my stomach drop in disappointment.
"You didn't pull away." He mumbles.
"I um.. I-" I stutter, stepping back from him.
"You. Like. Me." He says.
"You said you just wanted to be friends!" I whisper yell at him.
"I was stupid for thinking I could just be friends with you." He says.
"Tom we cant-"
"Is everything going okay in there?" Haz calls from outside the bathroom door.
"Yeah it's fine!" I call back.
"I need to go." I shake my head, stepping out of the bathroom.
"He's all cleaned up." I say to the boys. "Adam want to go hang out in my room and watch ballet videos?"
"Yeah sure" he nods.
He gets up and we walk back to my room. I shut the door and fall back onto my bed.
"I've kissed both of them in the past 24 hours." I say.
"You what?" He asks.
"I kissed Haz this morning, and Tom in the bathroom." I say.
"Well girl you've got yourself a problem." He laughs.
"No don't laugh! It's not funny!" I sigh.
"You're in a love triangle." He says. "It's like a movie."
"What am I going to do?" I ask.
"Pick one." He says.
"But..but I can't!"
"You can't?" He questions.
"I can't.." I shake my head.
"Addie!" He scolds.
"I know! I'm terrible!"
______
It gets late, and I panic when Adam says he's going home.
"Please for the love of god I can't wake up in the morning and be alone with them." I beg.
"I have class in the morning, and you got yourself into this mess." He says. "Good luck."
He leaves with a wave goodbye and I fall back on my bed.
This cannot be happening.
How in the world did I go from no boys even being interested in me, to this?
My sister was a player in college, she went from guy to guy shamelessly, and she never seemed as stressed out as I am right now.
I pull out my phone and text her.
Addie: are you awake? I need sister talking time. Badly.
A few minuets pass and she texts back.
Faith: it's 7 am here, what's going on?
Addie: boy shit.
Faith: look, I'm off work for a couple days. How about I take dads company plane and see you?
Addie: he's not going to let you take the plane!
Faith: I walked in on him and mom, he'll give me whatever I want. See you in ten hours.
Thank god. I need my sister. Desperately. I can sleep peacefully now, because she will be here by ten am tomorrow.
Two great guys want to be with me.. how do you pick? How do you sit there and choose one or the other?
On one hand, Tom is so fun. He's sassy and flirty, he's an amazing kisser. He's hot. The way he knocked Kian out, just for touching me.. he cares, even if he doesn't know how to express it. He excites me, makes me want to be adventurous and do crazy things.. with him I am moving in full speed, not looking back.
On the other hand, Haz is a sweetheart. He's caring and kind, but he can also be silly. He doesn't take things too seriously, and I just feel calm when I'm with him. He's soft and cuddly, the kind of guy you can sit and watch movies with all day while he plays with your hair. He's also the kind of guy I wouldn't be nervous to introduce to my parents, because he's the kind of guy parents like. He keeps me grounded.
I thought Haz was the guy. I thought he was better, but then Tom fucking kissed me and it felt way different from the first time.. it felt like I've been waiting for it. Wanting it.
I hate myself for this..