•Fuckboy~Hood•{5SOS}

•4| Falling For You

Lana's P.O.V
I compose myself in Calum's bathroom. Tugging at my hair, inhaling and exhaling deeply. I couldn't break now. Not yet.

Just as I go to open the door Calum forces it open causing me to stumble backwards into the wall. He didn't even fucking knock. Rude.

"Lana what the fuck? Luke just stormed out in hysterics crying and when I asked why he just shoved me and said 'ask that bitch Lana' what did you do?"

I just shook my head and started to cry again, expecting Calum to just leave and call me pathetic. Instead he just wrapped his arms around me.

"It's okay Lana, listen I've got a lot of explaining to do and so do you. I'm so fucking sorry"

I pull out of the hug and tilt my head, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand
"Calum what do you mean"

He just grabs my hand and leads me to his bedroom and we take our seats again on his bed.

"It's a long story, you tell me what's up with you and Luke and I'll explain after"

I tell him everything. I couldn't help it. no one has cared for so long and he seems to so why not?

I start at the incident in middle school and end with what happened 5 minutes ago.

Calum repositions himself to sit next to me and places his hand on my thigh. It hurts because it is in the same place Luke dug his fingers into my thigh and it had bruised. I didn't flinch, I was used to the pain now.

"I understand that he's mad, but it's no excuse for doing what he's doing, it's been going in for so long. Don't worry Lana, I'll protect you, we could both do with someone to trust in. Would you like me to explain now?"

I nod.

"Basically like a year ago I had this girlfriend called Lydia and we were in love. It was my first love to be honest, that's why I was heartbroken when I found out she'd cheated on me with my best friend, Michael Clifford, you probably won't remember him, he transferred schools a few semesters ago, he's like a year older than us though. Anyway, she cheated on me and I was distraught. I wanted to get back at her, so I found someone willing and took her back to my place, right as we were about to get started, Lydia walks in crying, her wrists were bleeding and she was just shouting 'I've fucked everything up, not just us, everything, my sister died this morning, she killed her self because I stopped caring and she thought it was her fault, but she was all I had left, and I was all she had left. I don't deserve to live' the girl I brought with me just kicked me in the balls and left. Lydia payed no attention to this, she knew she had it coming. I ran over to her to stop her from doing something stupid. I should have told her not to worry, that I was here for her. Instead I put myself over her needs and simply said 'you broke me, you broke us'. Little did I know it but she had a kitchen knife in her back pocket, she stepped back from me and before I could do anything she just said 'thanks Cal' and stabbed herself in the abdomen. She died right in front of me. She struggled for a bit first as I called an ambulance but she didn't make it. All because of me"

Oh my god. He was hysterically crying now. I told him it wasn't his fault. Now I knew why he was being awful towards me, he was scared of letting someone in/being trusted by someone.

He was still crying, the tears were streaming down his face. He was helpless.

I didn't know what to do, I just watched and rubbed his back slowly.

All of a sudden he stopped crying.

"I'm so sorry, I cannot sleep at night anymore, I've got like insomnia or something I'm so fucking tired...and I've let the emotion and sleep deprivation build up and I've been awful to you to try to deter you from liking me because I just-"

Calum's P.O.V
I was cut off by Lana's lips. She was furiously kissing me. I just let her, I needed someone and so did she. We were both broken. I think I'm falling for her, I don't want to be her friend anymore. I want to kiss her neck.