Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"Timotheé , When I first laid my eyes on you I couldn't even see us being together. You coming back from California was a rush of emotions that spurred by surprise. Part of me thought of that summer when love took over my mind and vision, so blinded by my heart-I ignored all the signs for me to let go before I got hurt. The looks you gave me from across the room gave me the biggest butterflies in my stomach and made my heart beat so hard-damn near thought it was gonna fall out my chest. When you went up to me in therapy we're just as broken. At first I hated that place, but I would go back to there just to get the same feelings. Neither did I notice when I was getting over an addiction I was obtaining a new one, You. When we went on our first date I haven't smiled that hard in two years. Your witty humor and charm made me smile till my cheeks hurt. Then you ghosted me, but I didn't let that hurt me. When you came back (when it was convenient to you) on my doorstep, you were a mess, drugs running through your system and pain-no anger brewing in your bones. You addmited you loved me and It didn't even come across my mind that I was left in the wind by you, but I felt a deep role forced on to me- To be the love of your life. I cared for you, but you pushed me away everytime. If I gotten to know you better, I would've known that you were stubborn and it had to take a extra push to make you give up and let go of your ego. I used beat myself up everyday seeing that you were getting worse everyday, I was supposed to be the woman that was strong enough to take care of the person she loved. The days where I'd have to hide your stash and you'd go in a rage. I always had to remind myself that I'd rather fight with you than lose sleep at night wondering if you're dead in a club from mixing your pills with your drinks. There were multiple times when I had hope that I could fix you, but then you left."
"Tonight I take my last breath."
"Y/n what stop what are you doing!"
"I want you to know that I love you too Timotheé. I don't want anyone to leave me anymore so I'm leaving everyone once and forever. Don't think you made my life hell because I had a traumatic childhood in the first place."
You bring the phone away from your ear. You were ready to go, nothing in life has been good to you and eternal sleep is the best choice for you. Timotheé was the only person you loved and you needed to let this off your chest.
"Are you done?"
"Y/n what the fuck no way!-." You pull the phone away as he screams at the phone in a fit of emotions.
You turn down your volume and part your lips.
"This is the only thing that'll make me happy at this point. Everyday feels lifeless, I can't sleep and I don't feel like I deserve to smile anymore . I've tried Timotheé...and drugs aren't working...and my whole family has disowned me and others disappoint me every time. My soul is cold and I feel like I'm in this dark pit. I could place myself in sunny Arizona and it won't take away the darkness and coldness I feel inside. The only time I feel okay is when I actually get sleep...Timotheé I'm tired..."
"Y/n PLEASE!" He yells loud enough into the phone to hear it in the lowest volume level.
You hang up placing the phone on the floor and rest back in the tub. The clear water softly moves in a slowly in a calm way. You sink in with no thoughts or hesitation. The water climbs up to you ear and you breath in the water. The burning and choking sensation make you clenched every muscle in your body. You put you head underneath and breath in again letting your fist pound on the floor of the tub. You lungs beg for air and your legs shake. You open your mouth but a word never comes out nor a breath. Your head pounds and you keep the urge to go up away. - Timotheé pov
"Fucking hell."I throw my phone on the passenger seat when Y/n hangs up.
I push on the gas faster knowing her life depends on on it. I can't live with myself if Y/n dies tonight. I had already called 911 so I hope that if I make it, they'll be there to help me. I enter Y/n neighborhood and take a sharp turn. My eyes can barely see the road from how much I'm crying.
When a take to the last turn my world crashes. Ambulance lights flash blue and red as some neighbors crowd by the side walk. The carrier has Y/n covered in a Black Death bag. Everything feels like slow motion. I stop the car. Run to Y/n. Some of the paramedics pull me back. I yell and cry but I can't hear. I look up at the sky and one star shines brighter than the rest at me. Y/n what have you done here? So selfish and hurtful. I wished you hanged on for us.
- If you guys are ever feeling down my inbox is always open💗 to my suicidal readers thank you sm for holding onto life I know it's hard and I think it's a brave strong thing you are doing for yourself and trust that things will get better...
