Fix Me Not (Sugawara Koushi X Reader) HAIKYUU FANFICTION

4

I just want to know you better

(Yn)

I grabbed my backpack before speeding off to where my cousin was. I felt giddy and electrified all of a sudden. Maybe it's because I'm finally starting to admit it to myself.

I'm falling.

I don't know if it's the way he talks to me like I'm a fragile antique. I don't know if it's because of the many times he has succored me. Is it because of his looks? He's just so... admirable. Judging from the things I've mentioned, those are probably the exact reasons why I'm looking so enthralled.

"He talked to me again, Ya-chan," I beamed.

"Of course, you're in the same room as him"

"You look sad. Is it because you're still clueless?

Everything has changed.

"Oh, come on. Won't you please tell me who it is?" Hitoka, my cousin, asked me for the hundredth time today. 

"Ya-chan, no. I'm not even sure myself--"

"You're blushing!" she teased with a timid chuckle.

My gosh. I don't know how she can be so shy in front of others but so blunt in front of me. I guess this is where the cousin part comes in. The blonde looked up at me with her sparkling doe eyes and clasped fingers, begging me to finally spill something. 

"This is just an infatuation. I don't even know him that much," I sighed.

We both started walking out of school to go home. I skipped like a person high on sugar while she walked calmly beside me.

"But still, it's been so long since you're like this. You always pull me aside when we meet at the school hallways and start talking about a certain guy. I just want to know who made my cousin so smitten."

I laughed because she's right. I've been eyeing a certain someone in our class for the past couple of weeks. I don't why I revealed my admiration for him to Yachi without planning to reveal his identity. Maybe because I really needed to let off steam for a bit and Yachi always pops out in front of me at school at the right time. Unfortunately, she now keeps on bugging me about it. 

"Yachi, I trust you but I don't trust myself. If a word gets out from my mouth, I'm screwed. My feelings will just keep on growing so I think it's better to keep it all to myself... for now."

We kept on talking about random things as we continued to head home. A lot of random topics keep on popping out while we conversed but most of the time, she just kept on asking about who I like. We reached home safely and did our own things while still talking. We're idiots.

"I bet he one-upped your last, (yn). You always tend to find someone better than the last in hopes of finally getting your happy ending--ow!"

"We don't speak of that in this household! Our parents might hear. You know they don't want me to have crushes because they think of it as a distraction," I cut her off, smacking her left arm in the process. 

I'm 2 years older than Yachi but we grew up together and became really close to the point that we don't even remember the age gap. We're like siblings already and she's my secret keeper. Anyway, one of the reasons why I don't want to admit anything is because for some reason, when you voice out something especially if it's the name of some you like, the feelings you have for them get worse! It makes you fall even more. Is there a science for that? 

If I fall harder, I'd be damned. 

"Sorry but what if the guy you like right now is your end game? No offense to all the other guys you had a secret thing with but I just... f-feel something."

She made me laugh again. She's so cute! She's talking like she's by my side 24/7. I kind of wish that I had her mom, Madoka Yachi. She might not be the best mom because she's rarely by Ya-chan's side but she secretly encourages her to be better and she lets Hitoka do her thing. Tough love. 

"Are you sure you're not the one who's in love with my crush? You're like a psychic!" I teased.

"I-I don't like anyone!"

"We'll see, Ya-chan. You speak too early," I mumbled.

I'd probably tease the heck out of her when she finally starts to like somebody. I'd pester her every day just like how she does it to me.

I'm really scared of liking someone again. I had a few mutual understandings before but they were all a secret from my parents. I'm a risk-taker. If I like someone, I get carried away sometimes and that's not a good thing. I'm putting the trust of my family at risk but in the end, those boys act like I played with them even if they knew about my situation already. In short, my sacrifices are wasted on worthless people. I wasn't playing anybody. My feelings were real. Not sure about them though. Those boys were so unfair. They expected me to stay until the end but they didn't even fight for me when I'm leaving them. How can they ask me to stay when they're not even doing anything that's worth staying for? I just want someone who will stay. I don't want to be the chaser anymore. I'm tired of being desperate.

I'm not allowed to have a boyfriend yet. That's why I have to keep things low-key. My parents are only protecting me and making sure I don't get distracted while studying. 

But there's this guy I used to like back in middle school. We weren't in the same school but I've met him on some occasions before. We both confessed to each other but nothing happened. We didn't flirt-- I mean, he's naturally flirty, but we acted like friends. Nothing more, nothing less. It was fun. I didn't feel the need to be secretive again and act like I'm involved in some crime. I wonder where he is now?

I sighed.

"Daichi Sawamura."

"Who's that? What did you say?"

"I mentioned someone's name--"

"Is he the one you like? Say it again, please. I wasn't listening."

I pursed my lips to prevent myself from smiling at Ya-chan's cute form. She suddenly turned into a light bulb. So bright and still. Lol. I know I'm going to regret what's going to happen next but I really can't hide this anymore. 

"Calm down. You need to promise me something--"

"I won't tell anybody. I just need to know who he is, (yn). Tell me the whole story as well," she smiled.

Yachi Hitoka, you're in for a long-ass storytime.