➳ claude // l.s.

XIII

    " I just can't believe you, Harry! " Farren's stirred tone rang in Harry's ears. " I thought we were over this and you started acting like a real boyfriend! " her voice was already on the edge of breaking down, revealing all that was stuck up and hidden deep in the girl's heart.

    There's a light rigidity in Harry's body, her angry voice ringing continuously in his ears. He just can't find himself to like this girl in a romantic way, seeing that she was the one clutching to him strongly, not letting him go. It was all just so plain and simple to Harry. A flick of his wrist and this girl was already won over, not giving Harry the chance to try to work a bit for her, to let adrenaline flow through his veins as he's thinking about countless ways to win her heart. She just didn't have that spark to make him feel like he's alive and certainly, never provides him any sort of excitement or made him stumble over his legs trying to spoil her over and over, until he finally runs out of ideas. It was just simple to him. He needed some flicker that proffered him continuous enthusiasm.

    " I'm sorry, Farren. " his voice lost in a faux solace tone, trying to maintain a face full of regret, an amused smile threatening to reveal itself, because it was just so easy.

    Now he understood why he hadn't stuck to partners, numerous nightstands being his options. It's been a while since they started dating, almost a month, and at first he tried his best to create some feelings there, but as time passed cruely, the tiniest flicker of hope that there were going to be feelings involved was extinguished, simply just letting her be and think of this relationship how she wanted to. It's not like she was going to break up any sooner, given her behavior. And it's really not his fucking fault everyone he meets is so plain and boring. Well, not everyone.

    " You're sorry? That's all? " she began wryly, voice tired from all the screaming, slender tendons marking her throat. It was obvious it wasn't long until she broke down completely.

    Harry's teeth sank in the cushion of his bottom lip, thinking of something to comfort her. As an imaginary light bulb lit up above his curly haired head, one of his hands started cradling one of her salty cheeks comfortingly. And she let him, just like that, leaning in his touch just a little bit. Inside Harry's mind, a victorious smile appeared.

    He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer and in an instant she snuggled closer into the warmth that emerged from his body. His thumb rubbed comfortingly around in swirls, warming her up, making her forget all about the failure that their relationship is. But she still chooses to believes that it can be repaired and Harry lets her.

    His head was standing up stiffly, eyes staring into nothingness, mind somewhere else as usual, when he should be snuggling his head in her warmth, peppering her head with kisses, whispering sweet nothings and hugging her tighter, reminding her that she's loved. But he did none of that, to her dismay, and they just stood there in that same position until she felt like she was ready to let go. And he just let her, relief flooding his mind as he saw how her blue eyes were staring right into his in a comforting manner, dimming the sadness present in them. She was trying to forget him, finding excuses for his behavior every chance she got and it was quite convenient for Harry. And wasn't it so easy to play and move around and basically do whatever you want with someone who is blinded by foolishness? Because that's just what it is, foolishness. And that's exactly the problem. Easy is boring to Harry and there's nothing he can do about it. It's just in his nature.

Words were traded between the two, the boy not even paying attention to what was said to him and answering with what he thought sounded good, earning a positive reaction from his girlfriend.

Each one of them returned to their classes, the bell signing the end of the break and both of them were feeling different emotions. Harry felt a constant scratch at the back of his mind indicating him that his behavior towards the girl is selfish, but the guilt was a frail emotion, faded in the back of his mind, not being strong enough to drown him and force him to let the girl go for once and for all. Every time thoughts like these crossed his mind, he shook his head and laughed it off, being almost unbothered by it. Meanwhile, Farren's head was filled with sad, melancholic thoughts, constant scenarios playing in her head where it was all different. And that made her think, is something wrong with her? Isn't she good enough for him? She's too scared to ask him that, too scared for the answer that she'll receive, and just like that, she never asks him about it.