It hurt. The past few weeks seeing Samantha and Dean happy together has hurt more than I ever thought was possible. I have been trying to keep my pain and envy hidden from the rest of the world, but I don’t think I am doing a good job. Whenever we all hang out and they kiss, hold hands or even look at each other. I have to look away. Blushing every single time because I feel embarrassed that I ever thought that could be me in his arms. I hate it. I have talked to my friends Isabella and Anabelle over this issue and they have said that I should tell him how I feel, and eventually break them up. But I can’t do that. I can never do that. As much as I want Dean I can’t do that. They seem happy, and I have no right to ruin that. Some people tell me different though. That I have every right to ruin them for my own selfish wants and desires. But it wouldn’t seem right to do so. And even if I did break them up, like Dean would go for me. I would have ruined his relationship, along with Samantha’s. I would lose both as friends. And if I couldn’t be Deans boyfriend I would be the next best thing; his friend.
So that is what I have become. The sad friend that looks for any hint that their relationship is about to end. And after a few weeks of them being together I do. I see then arguing. They don’t hold hands anymore. They hardly even look at each other or touch each other in anyway. And in a sick and twisted way this makes me excited. Excited because it gives me a chance to become more than just a friend. And whenever that opportunity comes to be more than friends I will take it and never let it slip through my fingers.
Authors Note: I know this chapter is short but it is a filler becasue I couldn't really write. I had bad writers block. The next chapter gets interesting. Love you guys xoxo
