Always

Chapter 4

Three weeks later: Joe's ranch, Montana, 31st December 2018

"So, what do you wanna watch?" Steve asked, when she returned to the livingroom with two beers.

"You are really letting me choose?" she asked, she looked almost stunned. She let herself fall back onto the couch and handed him one of the beers, which he accepted gratefully. In the past three weeks they have been looking for a way to avenge Joe's death and to find Greer. A few days ago, they had managed to find and capture Hassan's lawyer and even though he hadn't started talking yet, it was the closest they had gotten to finding Hassan and or Greer. They have been working on a bare minimum of sleep, but they were both more than willing to make that sacrifice. But today, or at least for a few hours, they would rest and regain some of their strength.

"As long as we are not gonna watch the Notebook again, then yes, I am letting you choose." he replied and a grin broke on his face - something she hasn't seen that often lately. Though it felt weird to celebrate something in a time like this, she knew how important it would be for the both of them. And seeing him smile like that just strengthend that presumption.

"Oh come on, that movie isn't that bad. It's romantic." she argued. She had made him watch it about 6 years ago and she was kind of surprised that he still remembered it. For the fraction of a second her smile faltered and she asked herself how she could have ever let him go.

"Well, if you say so." he said with a chuckle, as he remembered the many times she had made him watch romantic movies. Obviously he couldn't name most of them, but somehow the Notebook had stuck with him. It wasn't even that he found that the movie was particularly bad, he just liked teasing her about it.

"What do you think about an epsiode of friends?" she suggested finally, because she was actually a big fan of that show. She used to watch it every thursday with her brothers' - it was one of her favorite memories from her childhood.

"Sure." he agreed, because he actually liked that series too and they could definitely use something to cheer up a bit.

Just like one of these nights about 6 years ago, their shoulders were touching and with his arm on the armrest behind her, she was almost laying in his arms. She successfully convinced herself that it was totally okay and normal to seek closeness in a time like this. And it wasn't like this was the first time they were so close to one another. In her first night here, and in several following ones, Steve had woken up sweaty - his sleep has been plagued by terrible nightmares. Either she woke up too or was still awake, because despite being exhausted her mind just wouldn't shut up and let her sleep. However, they usually talked for a bit then, before they fell back to sleep - most of the time with their hands intertwined.

Three episodes in it was almost midnight, so they counted down the last few seconds to the new year. They clinked their beers and hugged, wishing each other a "happy new year". It sounded somewhat ironic, considering their situation, but in that moment it felt like maybe everything could be okay again - at some point in the future. When they entangled from one another, their eyes locked and one of their many conversations without speaking actual words took place.

Their eyes met and he understood the silent promise she was making. It was the same promise she had made in her first night here. They would find Greer. Together. And she would stay as long as finding her would take. As long as he needed her. He nodded slightly, a gesture of acknowledgement and appreciation. He saw that she wasn't left cold by Joe's death either, he saw the pain behind her eyes. And he was extremely grateful that she was here, with him. She smiled gently. He couldn't imagine having had and continuing to have any other person by his side but her.

He returned the soft smile, when his eyes suddenly fell on her lips. Maybe it was in the heat of the moment, maybe it's been something he has been wanting to do for a long time now, maybe it was even a combination of both, but he suddenly found himself kissing her. His hands were cupping her face as he kissed her with a passion he hadn't felt in a long time.

Without hesistation, as if it was the most natural thing on earth, she kissed him back and opened her mouth to let him brush his tongue against hers, "Steve..we shouldn't..be doing this." she mumbled, when she placed her hand on his torso and carefully put some space between the two of them. She wanted this, she wanted to kiss him, to touch him, to feel him. But she knew she couldn't. She was the one who had put her job over him and as much as she wanted him, she knew it wouldn't be fair to him, because as soon as they found Greer, she would return to being an agent with the CIA.

"I don't care." he breathed, as if he could read her mind. His finger tips began tracing the features of her face - just the way he had done it when they were still together. Her skin was soft and she looked so unbelievably beautiful in that moment. When she didn't object, he slowly leaned in again and placed a soft kiss on her lips and then on her neck and cleavage, "Do you want me to stop?" he mumbled, even though he knew it wasn't exactly fair. He still knew her well enough to be able to tell that she didn't want him to stop, quite the contrary actually.

Every fiber of her being craved to be touched by him. Being an undercover agent for the CIA didn't exactly help her sex life, but it was more than that. She wanted him. Him and not anybody else. "No." she whispered shakily and this time she was the one to initiate the kiss. It was slow and careful at first, as they were exploring each other's mouths and faces for the first time in a long time. Not much had changed really, they still fit as perfectly as the first day they met. He still tasted of peppermint, she still tasted of coffee and something else, which he had always found difficult to define.

He smiled into the kiss, when she pulled him closer by pulling his shirt. It was only a matter of seconds until Steve was laying on top off her and they were kissing each other passionately again. He couldn't help the moan from escaping his mouth, as her hands seemed to touch him everywhere all at once. He felt completely consumed by the kiss - something he had only felt once before: with her. The friends episode, where Rachel had just found out that Ross was in love with her by accident, was long forgotten, as they hurriedly freed each other of their clothes.