IM5 Is A Pack?

Chapter 18

A/N: Trigger warning. Please, if you think it will trigger anything, do not read! Love you all! <3

Cass's POV

I cried on my bathroom floor for what seemed to be the 1000th hour in a row. My eyes are puffy and swollen, and I don't care.

How could he say those things to me?

My heart shattered once again, adding onto the infinite amount I already had. I thought about how harsh his voice and his words had been. They echoed in my head. It feels like I'm getting sucked into a deep, dark, vortex, and it's getting harder to breath.

I am Cass Pendery, damn it! Dare this world, or me, think I need a guy. But... I do need Dalton. I want to run my fingers through his blonde hair. I want to see his bright, blue eyes, that always look so intently into mine. I want to kiss his sweet, tender lips. I want to bicker with him. I want to joke around with him. I want to pull pranks on him and see his joking anger towards me. I want... Dalton!

I screamed out in pain and, slowly, stood up. I looked at myself in the mirror. I'm not pretty like other girls. Yeah, I have A's. That doesn't mean anything. If he says I'm not worth it, then I'm not. And if I'm nothing, then I'm nothing.

I saw the silver shininess of my razor, and reached out for it in a daze. I pulled out one of the blades. I just stared at it, turning it between my fingers, and suddenly, it cut the tip of my finger. I watched, in a trance, as the blood trickled down my finger and onto my palm. It started out slow, but began to trickle faster. That... actually feels... good.

A small smile placed on my lips.

I need a bigger area.

I eyed my right forearm. They'd be gone in a couple of hours. I started up the shower, then stepped in. I don't care if my clothes get soaked. I huddled on the bottom of the tub, and held the sharp tool between my fingers once again. It did feel a bit foreign to me, but I just went for it and made three quick ones. I just watched it. The water becamr red fairly quickly. This will make Dalton pay for what he said to me. And it helps me feel better, so what's the big deal?

I hadn't noticed I was crying again. I cried harder than I had before, causing my whole body to shake. I screamed out once again, letting the pounding water drown me out.

I made two more cuts on my left forearm and watched the water become red again. I ignored the stinging sensation and continued to watch with a somewhat cynical grin on my lips. I tried to ignore the lightheadiness that started to consume me. My vision started to rim with haziness- the blackness threatening to take me. This is what he wants, remember Cass? With a shaky hand, I made one more cut before the blackness took me with it.