Thomas Cloverleigh Echos of the Past (Harry Potter Fanfiction)

Chapter 13 - I Regret Nothing

 Leading Thomas down the twist and turns of the schools halls. He found himself in the potions room. Professor Nocturne's attitude may have seemed cold. Not a word was spoken between the pair. For Thomas, it was reading the page of an old familiar books. The musk of age, filled this classroom as it did the cottage.

Thomas took a stool from one the lined desk and brought it up front to wear Professor Nocturne sat. Looking at Thomas. Lesson time, Thomas thought to himself. Seeing the familiar glint in his eyes. Thomas sat and folded his hands on his lap — in a prefect siting posture. Though hardly ever mentioned.

Thomas worked hard to keep his back upright and shoulders back at all times. A small thing he had notice about Professor Nocturne, and a small part that Thomas could imitate. To be more like the man in front of him. For as much as he admired the O'Sullivan family as a while, and Lars as an individual. If anyone bothered to ask Thomas who he wanted to be like — it would be Old Man — who Thomas now knew as Professor Nocturne.

"You have questions." Professor Nocturne said folding his hands, much like Thomas, across the desk in front f him.

"Many" Thomas nodded, and said.

"Answering isn't my way — you know this." Professor Nocturne raised a single arched brow. "It never has, and I won't change now."

"I need to figure things out on my own." Thomas knew that, to grow and became his own man, as he was often told. He must learn to make his own choices and come to his own conclusions...but still. "There were some things you can never learn on your own." Thomas said, Lars and his family taught him what it was like to have a home. Bernard and Pipa were teaching him how to be a good friend. Things Thomas felt could never really be discovered on your own.

"That is something I never taught you." Professor Nocturne said, inclining his head in a nod.

"No — I fingered that out on my own." Thomas shook his head. Thinking back to Lars worried face, he decided to get to the point. For his shake as much as his. "Why didn't you ever tell me?" Thomas asked. His heart pounded in his ears. "Why?" It bothered Thomas. That one question.

"Didn't you trust me?" Thomas looked into the black eyes of the man he admired. A man that, if Thomas ever dared to say it out loud. He would consider like a father. Hoping that if only this one time, he would give him a straight answer.

"Ah," Professor Nocturne sighed and closed his eyes. "You are the only one who could make me like this." Thomas's heart sat at the edge of his lips. His teeth biting down on it was the only thing keeping it in. That and hope, a faint flickering hope. That no matter what anyone did to him — en-dour. The heart of that flame sat in front of him. Thinking behind closed eyes.

"Please." Thomas said, interrupting for the first time; those thoughts.

"Thomas — I will say one thing." He opened his eyes looking at Thomas with a ghost of a smile across his lips. "I love you more than my own, and because of that — I can say no more." Thomas's heart sucked back into Thomas mouth. Getting stuck once in Thomas throat. Thomas pounded his chest with his free hand.

Shock not letting his brain tell him that, his heart getting stuck in his throat was impossible. It was too busy racing — for the first time in his life. Someone. Someone important to him. Told him. Told Thomas. That he was loved, and no matter where his heart was lodged. Thomas felt the truth flow through his veins like his own blood.

"I love you too Professor." Thomas swallowed his heart back into his chest. Tears dropping like rain from his eyes. Like the weather Thomas couldn't stop them from doing what they wanted.

"Yes — I know." Professor Nocturne sighed again, passing from his pocket. A dark red handkerchief. Another familiar sight that made Thomas smile despite the tears. Thomas took it and patted his face dry.