Mad Ember

44: Broken

The songs I add before a chapter hint to the feelings and messages that will rise within it. It gives my characters a real voice. It brings them to life. All songs will be provided! :) And the playlist is on spotify!

S O N G F O R C H A P T E R : "Touch"
B Y : Sleeping At Last

C O R B A N

Some moments mark your life. Moments when you realize that nothing will ever be the same, ever ever ever again. And somehow, time is divided into two parts. Before and after.

Before.

And after.

A tragedy.

Because in the end, when you lose somebody, every candle, every prayer, isn't going to change that the only thing you have left is a hole in your soul where that somebody in your life used to be.

I think it's safe to say that when someone you love dies, it will forever change your life. It's impossible to just "get over," the loss becomes part of who you are. A part full of nothing but darkness.

A void.

I think that's the hardest part of losing someone. It isn't having to say goodbye but living without them, always trying to fill that void of nothingness. The emptiness that is left inside your heart when they go.

"Don't worry." I whisper in her ear, tears in my voice as I wash the blood off the woman I love. In the place that we love. The place where she felt safe. The place where she accepted me, the place where we kissed for the first time, the place where we loved each other the most.

"About a thing." I cry my forehead against hers.

"Cause every little thing..."

"Is gonna-"

"Is gonna be a-alright." Cries encompass me as I clutch onto her body. I want to be strong, I do... but I can't. I physically can't because Ember was the woman who made me strong. Who do you turn to when the only person you would turn to when you're crying is gone. When they're the reason and had no choice in the matter?

Darkness. That's all I want.

Because when everything you know and love is taken away from you so harshly, all you can think about is anger, hatred, pain and the want for it all to just give you a chance to breathe even for a fucking second.

I want darkness.

"Corban." The voice is soft, a whisper as if the person is scared to speak. I snap my gaze to Ember looking over her form. I swear I just... "Corban I... I'm so sorry. This wasn't supposed to happen." Reagan's voice cries from behind me. My heart plummets. I thought, never mind what I thought. I brush hair out of Ember's face and my gaze lands on her neck. Her sliced neck. I can't stop myself from gagging. I take off my shirt and cover the gash.

The pain in my heart is unbearable as I clutch my chest rocking back and forth my body once again shaking with hard moan filled sobs. My mate. My Ember. My love. I had just gotten her back. This wasn't how this was going to happen. I was going to go find her after the war and tell her how much I love her. I love her, I love her, I love her. And she's not coming back.

"Ember..." I cry leaning over her lifeless body. "Come back!" I cry and cry, but I can't seem to run out of tears. "Please." I sob.

"Please come back to me." I cry. "I can't do it. I can't do this without you." The pain surrounds me as I feel the mate bond shatter. I physically feel it breaking and it leaves me without a breath as I look up at the sky. "Goddammit!" I scream. I look to Reagan tears clouding my vision, pain clouding my thoughts.