Random Poems

Silence

**Trigger Warning: Self-harm and Suicide**

She sits in the dark of her room

Staring at walls, wondering where she went wrong

The seething shadows in the corners

Not half as dark as the shadows in her heart

Icy fingers spread through her every nerve

Her lungs contact and her throat constricts

As tears sting her eyes, stream down her face

And a soundless scream rips from her body, never heard

Alone and with practiced silence

She draws a line of red across her wrist

Again and again, burning scarlet blooms

Like the rose once received, long forgotten

Her heart shatters and her mind shrieks

But it's too late now, her demons seduce

Salt and iron stain her sheets

But she takes care to hide the truth

3am and she sobs into her pillow

Her body shaking before finally shutting down

6am she tears herself awake

Her veins weighed down by molten lead

Dragging herself away from safe comfort

She chokes back sobs and little food

Mentally preparing for her daily torture

As she dons her usual disguise

A baggy sweatshirt covers her frailty

And a broken smile masks her pain

No one knows how torn she is

But that's just as she intends

She thinks that maybe, if everyone else was blind

Perhaps she did not have to see

But when she returns to her dark asylum

She can't look away

Her reflection stares back at her blankly

Encased by a stranger with similar looks

Only with shadows beneath her eyes

Once so bright with life, now flat and bleak

And a hollowness to her cheeks

Before were rosy red, replaced by a ghost

Lips pale and chapped from a nervous gnawing

Like the anxiety clawing in her belly

Her arms ache with lingering fire

But the chill in her bones numb her worries

She chokes down a moan as she tends to her thin lacerations

Stifling a cry as she pours more pain

Called to dinner, she hurries in a panic

"Eat your greens" she's told

But she would rather inhale

And float above the sky

She needs an escape, but sees just one way out

She thinks "If only someone knew..."

But she knows no one can see

Because no one can understand

The same routine every time

"It's only a phase, you're just being dramatic"

And how she hopes they spoke the truth

But they're just lies, lost dreams and wishful thinking

Because now she's thinking to herself

"What if I went a little deeper?"

"What if I made my own escape?"

"Who would miss me?"

With a hardened heart, she slashes deep

Tearing open fresh wounds

All her shattered pain spilling across the floor

Her voice cracks with a scream

The mirror the last thing she sees

Her eyes swimming in tears

"The pain will stop soon..."

She thinks as her knees give way

Found cold, broken, and bloody

Shock courses through her family

And they cry to themselves

"How could we not have known?"

You do know, and you do see

You just did not wish to hear

Her silence resonates in their minds

How could you not have heard?

A silence is the loudest cry

And a smile is the best disguise

How could you not have seen?

Her shattered pieces lay everywhere

If you did not hear me before

Then hear me now!

Please, just hear my

Silence...

***

Author's notes: This was a poem I wrote for my English class senior year of high school and its been a few years since I've graduated so I just wanted to say, things do get better. Suicide is never the answer. There will always be somebody that loves you. I love you <3