I Crash You

40 - Requests

[Edited]

"Of course, don't worry. You're in good hand. I'm kind enough," he snapped his fingers and a guy came in with a styrofoam box then handed it to him. "Here, I'll feed you."

It was rice with fried egg and stir-fry vegetables. Damn, as much as I love my veggies and their nutrients, this guy was such a cheapskate. I knew veggies here were cheaper, like dude, his brother had just given me a fucking diamond. And this dish was already getting a tad cold.

If I died because he poisoned the food, I could merely hope that I won't be a missing person. Even if no one cry for me in my funeral except for my parents, I'd rather think about that later.

"Aren't I such a great man?" He sure was great at flattering himself, this damn narcissistic of a stupid jerk.

"Oh, sure. You're so freaking kind, milady except you're not a lady but not bad." I said humbly for now, nodding my head as if I agreed.

Honestly, I didn't know what project was he talking about, I had no slightest bit of an idea, but I gotta survive first. Not wanna get to his bad side for the first hour, I would save those for later.

"Hey, Joe. So, you're the one who send me those nudes?" I asked once he was done feeding me the dinner.

"What nudes?"

"Well, not exactly. But your brother making out, having sex. You know, it's fine if you have fun spying and watching two adults doing the deed but seriously, that's your brother. Don't you feel weird? It's not like your dick couldn't stand anymore or anything right?"

"What are you talking about?" Surprise, he was in an actual confusement.

"That wasn't you?" I blinked. "Look in my phone. You took it right, and see the message from private number."

He did as I said and voila.

"Gross! I could kiss better than that but- hell. Why would anyone record this?"

"Exactly."

"Not me, why would I take those." He clicked on the next video and certainly a bad idea cause he went, "EW!!" and bam!

"SHIT! No need to fucking throw my phone!" I gaped blankly at my poor lifeless phone on this dirt of a floor. And hell. It was just a few months old, my baby. "Anyway, no idea?" My eyes were getting teary from the shock and disbelief.

"No."

"Think some more, think! How can you not know? What do you even know, huh? Other than being an egoistical prick." I was furious.

"Me? Egoistical? That shouldn't even be combined in one sentence. It should be illegal!" He huffed a dramatic amount of air.

And here, I, always thought that I was the childish one.

"Then think!"

"Fine!" He was actually thinking for a while. "Oh, I might know who."

"Who? Spill it."

"Judy."

"More hints, please."

"My mom."

"Dude," I almost puked rainbow from the vegetables I ate. "That's just even more terrible, weird, psychotic and just disgusting than ever. Why would a mother watch his son having-ugh. This isn't a 'Tell Me Who I Am'. Is he Alex? Are you Marcus? That's pure sick like not dope, but just sickly ill, no offend, but get it?"

"I agree, she is a lil weird sometimes but I love her, so I just have to play along," he leaned in a tiny bit forward and kind of whispered as if his mom was around and would find out about this little rendezvous.

"Oh, is this part of her screenplay too?" I followed him, lowering my voice down.

"Of course not." He moved back and shrugged nonchalantly.

Bitch.

"Whatever." I gave up. "Can I go to the toilet? I have my emergency too you know. Unless you want me to piss my shits here.."

"Just do it here." Damnit, he's nuts in a nutshell.

"Oh, and I think it's almost my monthly jackpot."

"What do you mean?"

"I can piss blood like it's niagara falls. And let me warn you, it won't look nor smell any good. Probably like what you'd expect from a messy butcher's shop with freshly slaughtered poultry in the butcher's hand," I smiled innocently. "Should I do it as you wish then, your majesty?"

"Fuck, no! Hold your bloody panty!" He shrieked like a little girl.

"Well, do you know tampon though? Don't give me that shit. I have no idea how to use that, neither a menstrual cup. I'm a modern civilised city woman, I use disposable sanitary pads."

I did have several in my bags but I didn't even know if my bags were there with them or not or anything and his minions surely needed to workout more. And it ended up with me staring at the packet of some hello kitty sanitary pads. How did they even exist.

Also, these bulky muscly men bought a kitty pads in a minimarket or store or whatever. Hell fucking yes. That's such a mood isn't it? Very masculine of them, not like I care whether it be hello kitty, hello doggy or hello bitches but, alright.

"Just two?"

"It should be more than enough."

"Yeah, two pieces of these long cottons to contain niagara falls. Sure, absolutely enough." I rolled my eyes sarcastically. He really needed some menstrual education.

"Of course, I told ya," he simply said. Man, I'd like to add sarcasm class in his to-learn-list. He practically knew nothing.