Stay

31

After my conversation with Oscar the night before, I felt hopeful for our future.

Today was the day he was going to confront Maria and we had made plans after school so he can tell me what went down.

I was eager to finish class and just get to him, but I knew that I had to let Kevin know and that was the hardest part.

As understanding as he was, I hated hurting him. I knew Kevin really liked me and every time I mentioned Oscar, it bothered him. But I owed him the truth.

"Hey baby girl" Kevin said as I was waiting by the football field.

"Hey, uhm look, I know I was going to watch you at practice but... Uhm... Oscar is dealing with something so I was going to hang out with him" I nervously asked.

Kevin lowered his head and then looked back up at me.

"Alright. I guess I don't have any say on the situation. I just wish... Never mind. Go ahead. Tell him I said what's up" Kevin replied.

Seeing him stand there made me feel terrible. Kevin didn't deserve this.

"Look Kevin, I'm sorry but I don't think this is fair for you. Things have been great between us, but I think you deserve someone who loves you. Like I told you, my heart belongs to Oscar and... Even though you are sweet, amazing, handsome, romantic, and a great kisser... I don't think I'll ever love you the way I love Oscar. It hurts me to say this, but maybe its time to be realistic and end what we have" I blurted out.

"Wait... What? You're breaking up with me? Really Nati? I.... I can't hold it in anymore... I have to get this off my chest and please don't be mad..." He said.

I looked at him and gave him all of my attention.

"You're setting yourself up for a lifetime of hurt. I cant understand how you keep going back to that fool. Oscar aint shit Nati. He's taking advantage of you and I'm mad you dont notice. He took an innocent girl, made her feel guilty about her dreams to go away and study. He proposed to you, cheated on you, broke off the engagement, and now what? Next thing you're gonna tell me is that he knocked up another girl and that he's forcing you to stay in Cali. Meanwhile you still love him. No offense but that's just dumb. You're proving to him that he can get away with anything and you'll always go crawling back to him. That's not normal Nati. Its like you enjoy getting fucked over. Any other girl would have forgotten about him. But not you... You're obsessed with Oscars toxic ass. And honestly, I don't see your future with him ending up well. It won't be the last time he cheats on you, I can promise you that. Oscar may not be in a gang any more, but the mentality he has will live with him forever." Kevin ranted.

I maintained eye contact with him and thought about what he said. He wasn't wrong. It kind of hurt me to hear, but it was the truth. Oscar is toxic. It's always one issue after another. But I loved him and to me love conquered all.

"I'm sorry Nati, but I needed to say it. You're gonna spend your whole life worrying about a man who is never going to change. You deserve better and i don't know how much more I can do to prove that to you. Shit is fucked up. I don't know why I thought I could convince you. Pretty girls like you always fall for the toxic men who treat them like shit. I don't know why, but you all think you can change these men and truth is, you can't. All you're doing is teaching them how to manipulate you. Im... I'm just over this. I should have known better. Just go. Have fun with Oscar." Kevin added.

Before I could answer him, he turned away and walked onto the field.

I stood there in awe. No one had ever told me off like that. I started feeling guilty. Kevin was right. About everything. I knew Oscar was toxic, and the reason I think I loved him so much was because I wanted to save him from himself. And maybe, that wasn't my job.