A Different Perspective

Chapter 1: Conflict

TW: Cutting, suicide attempt, arguing

Patton's PoV

Today was an average day. Normal. At least, the new normal.

I had been woken up from perhaps a 5 minute break by screaming and raced downstairs to find Janus holding Remus, who had somehow managed to get his hands on some glass and cut his arms wide open. Blood was pooling along the living room floor.

Where did he get glass? I wondered, before spotting Remus' mace lodged into the now demolished TV. Oh... that's new.

"Are you gonna help or what?" Janus snapped at me, breaking my numbed trance. That was barbed... I quickly scurry into the kitchen while yelling for Logan to come from... wherever he may be. Grabbing a couple towels from a drawer, I rush back into the living room. I hand one towel to Janus and keep the other, applying pressure to Remus' right arm while Janus did his left. My heart was beating so fast and I'm so worried for Remus that I might just cry... but, I can't. I need to keep up the strong figure for my family. I can cry later in my room.

"What do you require me for, Patton?" Logan's voice sounds behind me as his steps come down the stairs.

"It's Remus... again." Janus answers for me, knowing I'm too deep in my head to respond at the speed required for the task at hand. He is the only one who knows about my emotional state, and that's because all I do lately is tell lies and he knows all about those.

"Again? *sigh* I wish he would listen to me and understand how illogical his self-ha-" Logan gets cut off as Janus snaps at him:

"Well MAYBE it's not logical and he's overwhelmed... LOGIC." The tone at the end of Janus' words makes me wince. Gosh, I wish they would get along...

"It's his JOB, Janus. He shouldn't be getting overwhelmed by intrusive thoughts. He's the one who created them in the first place." Logan responds calmly, robotically. Is that REALLY how Remus works though? I ponder. But, that train of thought is interrupted as Roman comes storming in, mumbling and flinging his arms as he walks. He's clearly upset. I want to help him... but, Remus is...

"Patton, we need to talk about Virgil." Roman says as he approaches me, not even glancing at the unconscious side in my arms.

"Kinda busy right now kiddo, but I can come to you just after this." I smile up at him. Roman's face darkens. Oops, that was clearly a mistake.

"He's a DARK SIDE Patton, and you're more willing to help him than help me? Wow... you've changed." Roman's voice sounds so angry but, I knew he didn't mean it. Roman would regret this the second after he got some sleep. But what he said? That HURT. However, Remus could die and I cant let that happen.

"He's a little more important than you are at the moment, Roman. HE'S dying. YOU are not." Janus snaps at Roman, who then growls at him.

"Liar. I bet he's faking it like he did all the time when we were kids to get me in trouble. I'm over this bullshit of his." Roman snapped back. But, Roman KNOWS Remus is suicidal right now... he came to me worried just the other day. What's wrong? WHY is he acting like this?

One last set of footsteps comes down the stairs.

"Logan? Roman? The schedule? We have people WAITING on us to post. We can't FAIL them. Hurry up!" Virgil. He looks so tired... I need to make sure he takes a nap today... At this point Logan has finished with Remus' left arm and comes over to take his right arm from me in order to clean and wrap the deep wounds. The movement makes Virgil look down, and that's when he notices Remus. "OMG! REMUS!" Virgil dashes to Remus' side, checking him all over and clearly panicking for his old friend.

I want to comfort him, so I place a hand on his shoulder and start speaking "Now Vir-" Roman cuts me off:

"Oh so you're a traitor now? Huh Virgil?" Roman takes a step towards Virgil who shrinks into himself slightly.

"W-what? N-n-no! B-but h-h-he's m-my f-f-f-friend!" Virgil's voice is so shaky. Poor thing.

"Roman I don't think Virgil is a-" I try to reason, but at the sound of my voice Roman's head snaps towards me and he interrupts again:

"Shut up Patton. Virgil is just another dark side. Your care clearly meant nothing to him." And I KNOW that isn't true. Virgil loves me and is always up for a good cuddle and I just know my dark strange son would never think that way of me. But those words HURT. Suddenly, everyone was arguing. Roman, Logan, Virgil, and Janus' voices fill up my head and Remus seems to be coming back to conciousness, but he's crying and mumbling those self-deprecating words again... and I snap.

"GOD DAMMIT! SHUT UP! SHUT UP ALL OF YOU! YOU ALL ARE SO FUCKING USELESS AND NEED TO JUST GET OVER YOURSELVES!!!" Everyone enters a stunned silence as they just stare at me, some with jaws dropped, as they've never heard me yell before let alone cuss.

But, I've started and my adrenaline is pumping. There is no stopping me now. "NONE OF YOU ARE HELPING THOMAS AND YOU ARE ALL MESSING EVERYTHING UP! WHAT THE HELL GUYS!? WE ARE SUPPOSED TO HELP HIM TOGETHER! GOD, SOMETIMES I JUST HATE ALL OF YOU!!!" By the end of my rant I'm panting from the overwhelming, near crippling, rage and sadness I feel. And disappointment. I'm so disappointed in my family. I whimper at the realization. I need to get out of here. "I just... can't take you guys anymore. I'm going to my room."

And with that I quickly walk out of the pin-drop silence of the living room. At least I appear calm, inside I'm shaking with emotions as my footsteps echo throughout the mindscape. I step into my room and close my door as quietly as possible before leaping into my bed, bouncing with the force of my fall. I curl up and finally start to cry. What have I done?