annie
i hadn't told her yet.
in all fairness, i hadn't told anyone yet. a few of my friends had noticed that i was distant and asked if i was okay, but i had replied with "yes" and "of course" and "why wouldn't i be?"
anyone who knew annie leblanc knew that i was always okay.
but this time i wasn't. maybe it wasn't as heart wrenching and soul destroying as when caleb died. and maybe it wasn't as dramatic as when hayden and i broke up. but my parents were getting a divorce. my parents, the ones who raised me and hugged me and showed me what love means. the ones who would always tease each other and laugh at each other. the ones who would fight, but would never go to bed angry.
the same parents who taught me that divorce was a sin. the ones that taught me that you don't give up on the people you love, that you stay for long as it takes and as hard and as painful as it gets.
i felt betrayed and alone and broken.
that's where jayden found me when she walked into my room on a thursday evening.
"annie?" she whispered, sitting on the edge of my bed and finding the outline of my hand in the darkness.
"what are you doing here?"
"your mom let me in. you weren't answering my texts."
there was silence for what felt like an eternity.
eventually, i felt her get up from the bed and i heard my bedroom door close. half of me was relieved and half of me wanted to sob but i didn't have any energy to shed a single tear. all i could do was lay there.
but that only lasted about 10 minutes, because instead of leaving, jayden had gone to the kitchen and made tea and cereal.
"can you sit up, annie?" i slowly rolled back the comforter and leaned against my headboard. she motioned for me to move over so she could sit down and handed me a bowl of fruit loops.
"i'm not hungry," i muttered, stirring the cereal mindlessly.
"i don't care. you have to eat."
i looked at jayden and saw her already staring at me. there was something different in her gaze. it was all big eyes and slightly parted lips and there was something desperate about it. she leaned in and laid her lips on mine, softly, slowly. when she pulled away, her hand was on my cheek and she rested her forehead against mine.
"please, annie. for me."
how could i say no to her?
so i shifted my head so she was leaning on my shoulder and took a bite of cereal. i felt jayden breathe a sigh of relief and realized how worried she must have been, and how hard the last few days were for her, and how she had laid everything she was feeling down for me, to be there for me, to help me through this.
"i love you," i said, my mouth still half full of cereal but it seeming to urgent to wait.
"i love you too. always will."
"my parents are splitting up."
"i know," she said, nuzzling into my side. "i sat with your mom for a while before i came in here."
there was more silence while i took a few more bites of my cereal.
"i don't know what i'm gonna do." my voice was smaller, then, as if i had been afraid to say those words.
"you're gonna get through it. what else is there?" jayden said, a little bit blunt and a little bit broken. "you're gonna get through it. and it's probably gonna hurt and it's probably gonna be hard as hell, but you don't really have a choice."
more silence. she sipped her tea and i ate my cereal and yeah, she was right.
"i'm scared jayden."
"i know. i know." she sat up a little bit straighter and moved her arm to stroke my cheek, and i looked at her and melted a little bit. "we'll get through this. i'm right here."
