HIRAETH

Chapter 1

Karissa's POV

Naka-upo ako sa kama habang pinagmamasdan ang mga gamit ko sa sahig na naka-box. Sobrang kalat sa paligid dahil sa mga gamit na pinag-iisipan ko kung dadalhin o hindi.

"Sweetie, are you done?" Pagsilip ni Mommy sa pintuan ng kwarto ko. I look at her and shook my head.

"Not yet, I still have a lot of stuffs to do" 

Ngumiti siya sakin at tumango."Pero kailangan mo matapos before dinner, okay?"

Tumango ako at umalis na siya.

Dalawang taon na ang nakalipas simula nung huli akong naka-punta sa Pilipinas. Dito kasi kami sa states located, nag-bakasyon lang kami sa Pilipinas sa kamag-anak ni Daddy.

May mga masama lang talagang nangyari noon sa amin habang nandoon kami kaya hesitant sila na bumalik. Kasi ngayon, doon na kami titira.

One thing that I lost in the Philippines is my memory.

Yes, may amnesia ako. The doctors said it's permanent because our last check up was last month and it's already two years and I still can't remember. Sabi nila na masyado nang rare ang taong makakaalala pa after 2 years.

But yeah, my family is helping me to remember.

"Ate?" Pag-katok ni Aliyah sa pintuan ko. Hawak-hawak niya ang teddy bear niya sa kaliwang kamay niya habang ang isa naman ay kinakamot ang mata niya.

"Yes, baby?" Malambing na tanong ko sakanya. Nag-lakad naman siya palapit sakin at hirap na umakyat sa kama ko dahil bata pa siya at masyadong mataas yung kama kaya tinulungan ko at ikinandong sa binti ko. "What happened?"

"Hindi naman tayo magkakahiwalay ate diba?" She said while looking at her palms.

"No Liyah why?" Kunot noo kong tanong.

"You won't leave me right?" Her voice almost sounded like she's about to cry. But I can't see her face.

"I assure you hindi, tsaka isa pa magkakasama tayong aalis and lilipat sa Philippines kaya don't cry" Pag-cocomfort ko sakanya. "Nandito lang si ate"

She's really cute and fragile that's why I always want to care for her and it's also my responsibility as her sister.

"I just really had a bad dream" Pag-lingon niya sakin.

"Well that dream won't happen then" I smiled at her sweetly.

"Come on, kailangan mo mag-pahinga it's not healthy for you to walk around" Pag-buhat ko sakanya para ibalik siya sa kwarto niya. May hika kasi siya and mabilis matrigger ang baga niya kasi bata pa siya.

Her room is plain kasi bawal siya sa alikabok at mga stuff toys well maliban nalang sa asthma friendly teddy bear niya na lagi niyang dala na pinangalanan niya pa ng "Isa" na kinuha sa pangalan ko. Cute daw kasi dahil katunog ng pangalan ko at ng number na one na sabi niya pa"Number one lang lagi sakin si ate Issa" yun daw ang meaning nito.

I smiled at the thought while I closed her door.

"Enjoying being the sister? Huh?" I stopped walking to see Ate Hailey, my older sister leaning on the wall.

"What are you talking about?" I smiled at her.

Nasanay na ako sa gantong pag-trato niya sakin. Kahit nung bagong gising ako galing sa coma ay masama na ang tingin niya sakin. So I'm wondering what I did to her that made her really hateful to me.

"Oh come on, just stop pretending that you can't remember anything" Inis niyang sabi. Inirapan niya ako bago pumasok sa kwarto niya.

"But I can't really remember" I whispered while I'm looking at her door.

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Hunter's POV

"Hey dude, tama na yan" Pag-pigil sakin ni Jude sa pag-inom.

We're at a bar right now, drinking.

"I can't really believe he married that woman" I drank another shot.

Sobrang pait ng alak para sakin ngayon. Today is not just a typical day. Because today, he remarried again to a woman I dislike. Hindi man lang nila ako inimbitahan sa kasal nila kasi takot ang kanyang fiancée na baka mag-dulot lang ako ng gulo.

"He's still your father" I laughed sarcastically when I heard the word "Father"

He is?

"Yes he is MY father, and I hate that reality so much" Halos tuloy-tuloy na ang pagsasalin ko ng alak sa baso ko.

"Well can you blame him for remarrying? Matagal nang wala si Tita Jane don't you think it's time for him to find someone to love again?"

Love?

"Look, I'm  not restraining him or whatever pero hindi ko kayang tanggapin na nagpa-kasal siya sa babaeng kinasusuklaman ng nanay ko"

"Pero bakit nga ba?" He curiously asked.

"They've been cheating on my mom for years" Mahinang saad ko habang nakatingin sa bote ng alak na hawak ko. "Now they saw the opportunity to get married since she's already g-" I felt a pang on my chest again. I swallowed hard before I said the word. "Gone" I bitterly said.

I saw him looking at me with sympathy. But I don't need that.

I poured another one but this time, hindi ko na ininom.

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Karissa's POV

"Where's Hailey?" My father asked. 

Nasa hapag kainan kami ngayon at ang hinihintay nalang ata ay si Ate Hailey. 5 pm palang ng gabi ng hapon pero nakasanayan na gantong oras kami kumakain.

"She said she's not going to eat, busog daw" Pag-sagot ni Mom.

She doesn't really eat when I'm around.

"Bakit na naman? Palagi nalang ah?"

And that means araw araw yun. I'm bothered about her health too but she doesn't seem to care.

"Well, normal na sa teenagers nowadays ang maconscious sa katawan nila at mag-diet"

"Sus diet diet sobrang diet naman ata yan, hindi kumakain ng maayos" Pagrereklamo ni Daddy.

Patuloy pa silang nag-usap about sa iba't-ibang bagay like business or I don't know. 

Samantalang kami naman ni Aliyah ay kumain nalang.

"Ate paabot naman po nung chicken pleaseeee" Pag-kuha niya sa atensyon ko habang nagpu-puppy eyes at magkadikit pa ang dalawang palad.

"Bawal ka sa chicken" Pagtanggi ko.

"Ehee, yung gulay nalang po" No choice na saad niya habang naka-pout.

"Okay, here you go" Pag-lalagay ko sa plato niya.

"By the way Karissa, are you done packing your luggage?" 

"Yes dad" I politely answered.

My father is kind pero pagkaharap ko siya ay nararamdaman ko palagi ang authority niya.

"Good" Pagtango niya at bumalik sa pag-kain.

"You should rest early, maaga ang flight natin bukas kaya kailangan mo rin mag-pahinga ng maaga, okay? Ikaw din Liyah lalo na ikaw"Pagbibilin ni Mom samin. Nag okay lang si Aliyah habang tumatango at sarap na sarap sa pagkain sa gulay na kinakain.

"I'm full, if you'll excuse me" I really want to be alone for now.

"Go on" Mom smiled at me. Ngunit nang paakyat na ako ay nagsalita ulit siya kaya lumingon ako. "And hey young lady, no more gadgets for tonight" I smiled and nod.

I don't really use gadgets often dahil mabilis sumakit ang ulo ko. Umupo ako sa mini bed or tambayan ko sa harap ng bintana. I can see the moon appearing.

I don't know if I'm ready to go o kung gusto ba talaga sumama, hindi ko alam.

They aren't telling me what happened back there, and naiintindihan ko na hindi sila ready sa pagk-kwento ng traumatic experience.

I don't mind. As long as kasama ko sila ngayon, I think that's enough.