take me back in time

fishing trip

Days went by in a blur, I worked, I functioned but nothing beyond that.
Arthur's words repeated themselves over and over in my head, taunting me again and again. I was a wreck, without a real reason for it.
I was torn in two different directions. On one hand I was like; you know what, Arthur Morgan? Go fuck yourself. Don't need you in my life. But the other, well, let's just say it wanted him to fuck me.
Pathetic. Real pathetic.
Get yourself together, Kendall!
I tried to show everyone I was okay, no need to run around like a depressed Gollum, regardless that I felt like one, avoiding Arthur as much as I could, not giving my body the chance to act like a teen.
My back was pressed against the big stone outside camp near the ridge facing the gorge in front of us, Jack sat comfortably on my lap, back against my front, cuddled up and reading a book aloud.
He was my ray of sunshine, my happy place, I was totally in love with that gorgeous boy and I was pretty sure he liked me too.
Last day he'd call me 'Auntie Sophie' and my smile nearly beat the sun, that's for sure.
Said sun was beating down on us, slowly but surely making her way to the west. It was a very warm day, so we just sat in shirts, enjoying the warmth around us.
I wasn't quite sure what date it exactly was, my phone said 21st of April but how knows if that's correct, because it also said year 2019 and well, that's most certainly not the truth.
Jack chuckled as I ruffled through his soft hair, face coming up to beam at me and I gave him a huge grin return.
"What?"
"Ya know, I never had a teacher besides Hosea.", he began.
"And?"
Jack grinned and whispered: "Don't tell him that, but I like our lessons more."
"Really?", I asked back amused.
"Yeah. Much more fun."
"Why, thank you, little one."
My heart was full of love for that boy, he was such a sweet one.
He continued his reading afterwards and I leaned back again, drinking in the fresh air and the beautiful view.
Camp was for a change really quite, it was mid-afternoon and most of the men were out doing some kind of jobs, the women sitting around the washbasin, chatting quietly among each other. Miss Grimshaw was nowhere in sight, she went into town with Pearson in two, so the girls were in high spirits, her laughter floating in our direction every now and then.
I dozed off after some time, Jack's high voice lulling me into a dreamless sleep until footsteps woke me up again.
Abigail stopped in front of us, a smile pulling on her lips as she laid eyes on us.
"You two having a good time?", she asked in a light voice and Jack nodded eagerly in response.
"Sure do, momma."
Her dark hair shone nearly black in the sun, her soft features illuminated as well, she sure was a beautiful woman.
At first, I didn't really like her. I was to prejudiced from the game, the way she was presented there, annoying, grumbly, always on the edge with John but after I spent a lot of time with her and Jack, I finally saw that they didn't get her quite right. Sure, she was annoying sometimes, her maternal instinct was very distinct and sometimes a bit too much but she just loved Jack more than anything else in this cruel world and she wanted to protect him, give him the childhood he deserved.
John wasn't much help, rather the opposite and so she was left with everything that needed to be done. She was alone with parenting and protecting and she was exhausted, I could tell that much. Deep rings under her eyes, her smile always a little forced and tired. Every day we got a little closer and I tried to help her, watch over Jack when she wanted to sleep a little, have some alone time or just give her some money for clothes and toys.
She wouldn't take it in the beginning, wary of my intentions but after she saw how I was with Jack and how he was around me, she relented, rewarding the boy with sweets, toys and new clothes which plastered a huge thankful smile every time on his little face.
"Everything alright?", I asked her, sensing her restlessness as I looked up at her.
"Sure. I just, u-uhm."
"Where's the boy, Abi?", a deep voice called from the left and I froze.
Ah, great.
Arthur stepped into view, handsome as ever in a grey shirt and black jeans, hat on his head and hands on his belt buckle.
"I'm here Uncle Arthur.", Jack called cheerful from my lap and I was ready to drown myself.
"Ah, there ya're. Ya wanna go fishing?", he said, stopping just a few feet away, eyes on us.
"Fishing?", his small voice piped up with interest.
"Yeah, fishing. Time for ya to earn ya keep, little one.", Arthur stated in an amused voice.
My heart fluttered painfully in my chest as I let my eyes roam over his body, averting them quickly as he caught me doing so.
"Sure. Now?"
"Yes, now. Ya got a pole?"
"Uncle Hosea gave me one."
"Go get it, I'll be waiting here."
Jack stood up quickly, waddling in a hurry to his and Abigail's tent, leaving us three alone in uncomfortable silence.
With a sigh, I stood up myself and I turned to Abigail, handing her the book back Jack left behind.
"He did good today. His reading improves every day.", I simply stated and she beamed with pride as she took the book from my hands.
"Thank you, I really appreciate it."
"Don't mention it.", I mumbled in return.
After a shy look at Arthur, I turned to head towards my tent but Abigail's voice let my steps falter.
"Wait up. Why don'tchu go with them?", she asked and Arthur huffed immediately in annoyance.
"What? No.", he shot at her but she brushed him off, eyes roaming around the two of us, eyebrows crooked in interest.
"Ah, I don't think that's a good idea, Abigail.", I said wary.
"Nonsense. You keep an eye over both of them, please.", she said, eyes searching mine and then Arthur's face, her expression hardening slightly as she sensed his disapproval.
She poked her forefinger at his chest and stared him down.
"She goes with you. No back talk!"
The big outlaw gawked at her, then snorted and grunted at the same time but to my surprise he relented, hiding his face under the brim of his hat.
"Yes, ma'am."
"Good."
With that, she ushered us on our way and a short ride later, I found myself sitting on a big stone near the Dakota River, watching Arthur and Jack while fishing.
I convinced him to fish a little bit down the stream to the left, in hope to bypass the Pinkertons but we'll see if that will work the way I wanted it to.
The night after our encounter, I promised myself to stay out of the missions, as long as nobody was hurt or killed but with Jack in tow, I tried my best to keep him safe, even though nothing really happened to him in that particular mission.
Regardless, I just wanted them to fuck the hell off and leave the gang alone.
Arthur explained patiently everything Jack needed to know about fishing, in a calm a steady voice, which had quite the opposite effect on myself than it had on Jack.
I felt giddy and restless, my body responding to his dark voice without haste and without my permission.
The river flowed down nearly silently, the two boys standing near the shore with their poles in the water, chatting without concern. They caught a few fish, Arthur showing Jack how to unhook them and equip the hook with new bait.
Jack visibly enjoyed Arthur's company, watching the older man with interest and dignity, I caught him mimicking him once or twice.
It was a sight to see and it also made me a little sad, because it should be John standing here with him and not Arthur.
Maybe I should have a little chat with him about his son.
Also, I felt a little uncomfortable in Arthur's presence, our last conversation still very prominent in my mind.
To get this thought out of my head, I stood up and entertained myself with a few flowers which dotted the shore in yellow, white and red, some kind of Daisy and another flower I didn't know.
I picked a few Daisys and sat down cross-legged to wove them into a little crown, hands working nearly on their own.
"What you doin' there?", Jack's voice piped up in front of me and I looked up with a smile.
"Ah, just a little crown or necklace."
Jack watched me as I continued with my task, sitting down beside me after a short moment, erupting a small huff out of the outlaw which was still standing at the shore.
He grumbled something I couldn't quite catch but it sounded very much like 'outbid by a woman and flowers' which made me smile in response.
"Can I make one too?", Jack asked me and I nodded.
"Sure, go ahead."
His little fingers were way faster than mine and his necklace was finished in no time.
He held it up proudly, spinning it around to show it to Arthur.
"Look Uncle Arthur, I made a necklace for momma!"
Arthur's face softened visibly and he smiled down at the boy. "That's mighty pretty, I'm sure she'll love it."
Jack giggled. "Sure she will, she's my momma, she loves everything I make for her."
We both chuckled at his undeniable logic and our gazes met for a brief moment, his summer eyes sparkled in the sunlight and he took my breath away without even trying.
Jack was my savior, he stood up and planted himself in my lap with a loud thud, he looped his arms around my neck and hid his face in the crook of my neck, then he let out a loud sigh and I petted his back gently.
"What is it, Jack?", I soothed him and he sighed again.
"'M jus' tired, Auntie Sophie.", he responded weakly and pressed his little body even more against mine.
"It's okay. Get some rest, we'll head back soon.", I assured him and he nodded his head, shifting until he was comfortable but then he looked up at me, his brown eyes squinting in the sun.
"Can ya sing for me?", he asked shyly and I frowned.
"Now?"
"Jus' a bit, please."
Damn those puppy eyes.
"Sure."
With a happy giggle, he cuddled up again and waited for me to begin.
I embraced his back and stroked softly over it, laying my cheek on his head. Rocking our bodies slightly back and forth, I began to sing quietly to lull him into sleep. It worked, though. Just a few moments later he breathed deep and even and I switched into a low humming until I stopped, looking up to catch Arthur staring at us, the fishing pole forgotten on the sandy ground.
"What?", I nearly whispered, startling Arthur out his trance.
He came strolling over to us and sat down beside me, hat hanging low on his head, shielding his eyes from my gaze.
After he sat down, he bent his legs, forearms resting on his knees and he turned his head to look over to us.
"Ya good with him.", he murmured and I simply nodded.
"Mhm."
"He reall'likes ya."
We sat there in silence for a while, listening to the sound of the river, birds and the wildlife around us.
"Ya want children yerself sometime?", his deep voice asked and I turned my head in surprise.
He watched me, eyes narrowed a tiny bit, lips in a thin line.
"Uh-uh. Maybe. You?"
The question came over my lips before I could think about it and I tensed, Arthur too.
"No. I don'think so.", came his reply, low and raspy.
Crap, I shouldn't have asked this.
"A-ah... I'm sorry, Mr. Morgan.", I tried to apologize but Arthur simply shrugged it off.
"Oh, it's Mr. Morgan now, is it?", he shot back, eyes coming back to me to watch my reaction.
"You want me to call you Arthur? After our last, well, encounter?"
He huffed. "Especially after our last encounter. I-I, uhm. I meant what I said back then, but I think ya caught some of the things I said in the wrong way."
"The wrong way? How could I take a rejection the wrong way?", I asked, raising my voice a tiny bit. Jack shifted in my lap, sighing against my neck and I patted his back again, trying to distract myself.
"Jesus, woman. It wasn't a rejection, I just-"
"You know what? Forget it, Arthur.", I interrupted him, averting my eyes from his, not in the mood to talk about that bullshit now.
"Forget what?", he shot back and I frowned, raising my hand in a defeated manner.
"Everything. Nothing happened, remember?", my voice dripped with sarcasm and Arthur's eyebrows shot up at that, hands flexing into fists.
"Lord help me. Ya're the stubbornest woman I've ever met. Ya never listen. That's not what I want-"
"Good evening."
Our heads spun around quickly to the voice, watching how Agent Milton and Agent Ross came closer on horseback.
"Ah, shit.", I whispered under my breath and my hand shot forward to grab Arthur's forearm, squeezing it tightly, preventing him from pulling out his gun and doing something stupid.
His eyes searched mine and I shook my head slightly, whispering: "Trust me.", in his direction.
Arthur tilted his head but remained silent, hiding his face under his hat again.
"Can I help you?", I asked as the two lawmen stopped just a few feet away, watching us carefully.
"Maybe you can. I'm Agent Milton and this is Agent Ross, Pinkerton Detective Agency.", he replied, pointing at himself and then at the thicker man next to him.
Arthur tensed beside me, his forearm flexing under my touch and I squeezed it quickly.
"We're looking for some degenerates, a bunch of outlaws. We heard they were near Valentine, holed up somewhere to plan their next scam. It didn't happen to you that you laid eyes of one of them, didn't it?"
My eyes flickered to Arthur, he sat like a stone beside me, every muscle in his body ready to fight, his right hand on the ground near his revolver, the other landed on my thigh, grabbing hard through the fabric of my jeans.
"Ah, no, sir. I'm sorry but you see, we're just a simple farmer-family. We bought a little house near Valentine a few weeks ago, we haven't seen much of anything to be honest.", I said in my clearest and friendliest voice. Arthur snorted next to me, squeezing my thigh in a warning.
"That so? Well, if you see any of them, don't hesitate to call for the Sheriff, he'll inform us immediately.", Milton replied, his eyes fixated on Arthur and a shiver ran down my spine.
"Sure. What do they look like and what do they call themselves?"
They turned their horses around, still facing us.
"Van der Linde Gang. Like outlaws do; filthy and uncivilized. Don't get near them, they're dangerous, especially for you and the boy, since your man seems to be quite the protector.", Milton mocked in an arrogant voice, prompting Arthur to grumble under his breath.
"Sonof'abitch.", he rumbled just for me to hear and I nodded quickly in their direction with a forced smile, watching with horror how Ross tilted his head to get a better look at Arthur's face.
"Haven't we met before, mister?", Ross asked and I froze, turning my head in Arthur's direction.
He looked up, facing both of them but he remained sitting on the ground next to Jack and me, big hand still warm on my thigh.
"No. Don't think so.", he replied low.
Ross still watched him, brows furrowed in concentration.
"I could swear I've seen you somewhere."
My eyes darted between the men and then I laughed, patting Arthur's hand with my own, leaning a bit forward in his direction.
"Oh, sweetheart. That's like the fourth or fifth time some said that to you. Always told you that you have a common face, now you need to believe me. Why, even these Lawmen see it.", I said to him and caught his eyes with mine, seeing how he struggled under my gaze.
He wanted to shoot them, now and fast.
I could sense all the hate and anger waving around him like some kind of aura, so I cradled his cheek, stroking his stubble softly with my right thumb, Jack still asleep in my lap and leaned a bit forward.
Arthur's eyes shifted from Ross and Milton to me, eyes dropping down to my lips quickly and then back up.
"Sure.", he drawled in response, still confused and tensed.
Milton's chuckle sounded fake and hollow as he reached out to pat Ross on the shoulder.
"That's quite the woman you got there, mister. Some advice; keep her and boy near your home, it isn't save around here no more.", he stated in his snaky voice.
Arthur looked up again and my hand dropped down.
"Sure."
"Well, you three have a good day, Mr. and Mrs....?"
"Miller.", I jumped in quickly, watching how Milton and Ross tipped their hats but the way Ross still watched Arthur made me uneasy and wary of the situation.
"Mr. and Mrs. Miller then. If you witness something uncommon, just let us know, please."
We both nodded and hold our breaths as the two Pinkertons turned theirs horses and followed the road towards Valentine again, releasing the tension as they were finally out of sight.
As soon as they were gone, Arthur jumped to his feet, pacing around like a caged animal and grumbling under his breath, kicking stones and flowers in the process.
"Damn Pinkertons. Why're they here? Do they know where we're?"
"I think Ross has his assumption that you're not Mr. Miller.", I spoke up, stopping the big outlaw in his tracks.
He huffed. "Yeah. My ugly mug is'all over Blackwater and also other towns. I need ta speak with Dutch."
"Ugly mug, yeah sure.", I said under my breath but Arthur simply waved me off, eager to get away from this place. He grabbed his and Jack's fishing poles from the ground and then we headed into camp quickly.
Jack was still half-asleep in my arms, he just woke as I mounted Nugget but I assured him everything was fine and he dozed off again.
Arthur stomped off to Dutch's tent the moment his feet touched the ground, closing the flaps behind him with force and I strolled over to Abigail, who was sitting in her tent, sewing a pair of socks. Carefully, I laid Jack down on his mattress, covering his small body with a wool-blanket and his mother smiled thankfully in return.
"Fishing must be very exciting.", she mocked and I huffed a small laugh.
"It sure was, but Jack overslept the thrilling part."
Her smile faltered and she watched me with concern.
"What happened?"
"Nothing. Arthur is already speaking with Dutch, don't worry about it."
She didn't believe me, she was cleverer than everybody thought she was.
"Oh, here.", I said, reaching for the necklace Jack made for her. "Jack made this one for you."
Abigail took it and tiny smile pulled on her lips.
"He is such a sweet boy. I'm the luckiest mother alive, that's for sure.", she responded with audible love in her voice and I smiled at her, grabbing her hand in mine and giving it a slight squeeze.
"Always remember that, Abigail."
She gave a squeeze in return.
"You know, I had my worries about you in the beginning but I must admit, that I was wrong. I'm glad you're here with us, that you're here with Jack and me. I really appreciate all your help, even if I can't show it all the time."
I nearly cried.
"Oh, that's so sweet. Thank you.", my voice quivered a tiny bit and I tried to compose myself back together.
She smiled, then her eyes wandered a bit to the left and her smile grew even bigger.
"And I think Arthur is also glad you're here.", she whispered and I paled instantly.
"What?"
She chuckled again, patting my hand absently.
"Oh, don't gimme that. I see the way he looks at you and the other way around if you think nobody is looking. I'm not that stupid and you two are not that sneaky."
I hesitated. "I-I, u-hm. It's not like that, Abigail."
She frowned.
"Then, how is it?"
That's the one million dollar question, wasn't it?
"Let's just say, he isn't interested.", I stated low and Abigail barked a short laughter in return.
"Nah, bullshit. Let me tell you something; I'm in this gang way too long and in the beginning, I came here as a working-girl. I know, I'm not proud of it either but that's the way it was. All of them took my services, except one. Can you guess which?"
I bit my bottom lip and averted my gaze down on the ground.
"Arthur."
"Correct. He never came, even though I would've loved to lay with him, because let's be honest, he's one of the best looking men around here and I'm sure he can live up to our, well, expectations."
I chuckled under my breath, a little shocked in which way this conversation went and that she spoke that bluntly.
"Arthur had never shown any interest in any of the girls, never. So, I think it means something if he looks at you like you're some kind of steak."
"Steak?"
"Yeah, you know what I mean. Like he's starving and you're the only eatable thing left.", Abigail wiggled her eyebrows at me and I snorted.
"Good God! Abigail!", I shot at her, blushing something fierce but she laughed at my reaction.
"I don't think he looks at me like that.", I objected but she simply grinned.
"Yes he does. I may not be the smartest but I sure as shit can read peoples body language, especially if it has something to do with sex. That was part of my job, sensing if somebody was interested or not."
"Jesus, keep it down, will you?", I hissed, prompting her to stifle her laughter with her right hand.
"Nobody is listening, girl. Just take my advice; he wants you."
I groaned, shaking my head slightly.
"Nah, but thank you."
When I tried to stand up, she reached for my wrist and held it in a firm grip, prompting me to look at her.
"What?"
She hesitated a tiny bit. "He's a good man, Sophie. Under all that gruff and dumb demeanor lays a good soul, he may not know it yet but he deserves some love in his life.", she said in soft voice, holding my gaze with hers.
"I-I-uh. Yeah...", I stuttered in response and she let go of my wrist, smiling one last time and continuing her sewing-work while humming a soothing tune under her breath.
My head was spinning, thoughts running a mile per minute.
I made my way over to my tent quickly but Dutch's deep voice stopped me dead in my tracks in the middle of camp.
"Miss Kendall. How are we doing this evening?"
What about some goddamn peace?
I turned in his direction, facing the leader who stood on the wooden planks of his tent, cigar in one hand and the other on his gun-belt.
"Mr. Van der Linde. Good, and you?", I replied politely, holding the gaze of his dark brown eyes.
"Good, good. I wanted to speak with you, about the job?", he offered and I nodded my head.
"Yeah, sure."
Dutch motioned for me to come inside and I relented after a brief moment, sitting on a chair he offered me while he sat down on his bed, facing me.
Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see Molly standing near the Lockbox, mirror in her hand and watching us through it with concern. When she noticed my gaze, her green eyes narrowed slightly and she turned around with a loud huff, red hair waving around her like a curtain as she made her way out of sight quickly.
I frowned at that and Dutch chuckled lowly, shaking his head.
"Don't pay her any attention, she's in a bad mood today.", he nearly whispered and I looked at him again.
"Maybe you should try and talk with her.", I objected but he brushed me off.
"No time for that, my dear. I got more important things to worry about.", he refused, clapping his hands once and looking me dead in the eye.
"So, Trelawny told me about a good lead down in Strawberry, something about a stagecoach, expensive paintings and rich people; all of them waiting for us to rob them."
I crooked an eyebrow at his enthusiasms, his voice filled with excitement and thrill.
"And?"
Dutch straightened his back out, hands landing on his thighs, then one hand came up to stroke through his black mustache covering his upper-lip.
"I have a plan.", he said and I needed to stifle my laughter quickly, covering it up with an awkward cough.
"I guessed that much.", I said dryly and he smirked.
"We need a distraction, trustworthy people, maybe even a little coup to get them paintings. Hosea will be able to sell them afterwards but if we can get them without a fight, that would be brilliant."
"What's the plan then?", I asked, wary of another world-changing Dutch-van-der-linde-plan.
The great leader hesitated a tiny bit, brows furrowed in concentration, then his eyes lit up like he had some kind of enlightenment and then he shouted for Arthur, which made me jerk on my seat.
Oh no.
Said man came walking over quickly, stopping at the entrance of Dutch's tent, eyes roaming around the situation in front of him.
"What is it, Dutch?", he rasped out and a shudder ran down my spine.
"I need you two down in Strawberry, meet up with Trelawny and he will give you the final instructions.", Dutch said, eyes still on me.
"What instructions? The hell ya talkin' 'bout?"
A dark chuckle escaped the older man and his eyes wandered between the two of us, finger pointing at us.
"You two pretend to be a rich, educated married couple and you want to buy these damn paintings, get them without a fuss, maybe you can source fake-money with Josiah or something like that."
There was a heavy silence afterwards and then we both spoke up at the same time.
"No way."
"Ain't gonna happen, Dutch."
Dutch narrowed his eyes and stared at us with disbelief.
"What's the problem?"
Arthur rubbed the back of his neck, feet shuffling on the ground.
"I-I, uh.", he stuttered and Dutch snorted.
"A cat got your tongue, Arthur? You got something to say? Then say it."
Arthur sighed deeply.
"Married, really?", he rasped, sounding highly defeated.
"Yes, Arthur, really. Should I send John down there with her, hm? That what you want, son?"
His face shot up and his lips were drawn in anger.
"No."
"Well, then get going. Stagecoach will be through the next couple days, better meet up with Josiah as fast as possible."
With that, he ushered us out of his tent and we stood a little awkward in front of each other.
Abigail shot me an amused look, as I turned my head in her direction and I poked my tongue out in return, suppressing the urge to show her my dearest finger all over camp.
I could hear her chuckle all the way over to us and Arthur did too, his hard gaze landed on her and she gave him a flashing smile back, giggling all the while.
The big outlaw furrowed his brows, forehead knitted in confusion.
"The hell 's wrong with all these people?", he asked under his breath, then he shot me one last glance and headed to his tent.
"Meet ya in ten minutes by the horses.", he exclaimed over his shoulder, his broad back disappearing under his canvas.